I Need a Mint

Today's burger was surprising in that the original plan was actually to go get breakfast. Unfortunately, the brunch buffet at The Station is apparently only available on Sundays. Oops. Also, the line at Sylvester's was like 45 minutes long, and there was no way that we intended to wait that long. There were so many people that it took Kathryn 3 minutes to get our names OFF the list. That is just wacky.

Eventually we ended up at Fitz Willy's because Kathryn and I knew it was good and Melissa had never been. This resulted in my food plans going from brunch to a burger. Namely, the French Onion burger. Not sure what exactly made it French, since it had Swiss cheese, but I am not in the burger-naming business (although I may look into it). There were sauteed onions, onions straws and a slice of red onion on this thing. I can only imagine what that did to my breath.

Sadly, the burger did not live up to the high expectations I had for it. First, it was overdone slightly. Nothing is worse for a burger than overcooking it. Second, we had the most ridiculously fantastic appetizer of all time: gorgonzola garlic bread. There was pretty much nothing that was going to live up to that thing. Fries were good though.

Next time I am going to follow my instincts and get a different burger. Or, just make it clear that I don't mean medium well when I say medium rare.

-Jon

That's a Lot of Possibilities

This post is long overdue, but since I am lazy all I have to say is "tough luck."

Also, it contains math.

At some point in the last 2 weeks (I believe it was a Sunday), we had burger night at Mom & Chuck's before the bros headed back to Boston. I am not sure what the original plan was, but somehow it exploded into so many burger options that it would take months to try them all. The various options included: onions in the burger, blue cheese in the burger, blue cheese on the burger, American cheese on the burger, pepper jack cheese on the burger, sauteed onions and sauteed mushrooms. I also prepped some red onions with olive oil and grilled those up. Admittedly, we may have gone a bit overboard on the onions, but to be fair, onions are delicious. And there was the option of a toasted bun, which is just a classy choice. Offhand, I think this ends up with 256 burger options based on the way I am doing the calculations. That's a lot of burgers.

After loading up with both sauteed. . . vegetables (not sure if onions or mushrooms count in that department), I decided on the grilled onion and American cheese option with onions and blue cheese inside the burger. This resulted in a burger that was about 2.5 inches tall. Also, there were two of them. I am fairly certain that was enough food to last me through the next day. But it was delicious, and I would eat another one right now if I wasn't full of pizza.

Oh yeah, the French fries were also fantastic. No such luck with the ketchup though. Really, why does any company besides Heinz even bother making ketchup?

-Jon

PS - If Kathryn says anything, this has been up for days.

Oops

Yes, I did eat some burgers the other night. No, I haven't written about it yet. Don't worry, I will take care of it this weekend. And hopefully eat another burger as well.

-Jon

Two Burgers > One Burger

After a long layoff (by my standards) from burgers, it looks like they are making a dietary comeback. I am not sure if this will keep up, since the weather is going to become less and less grill-friendly, but we'll enjoy it while it lasts.

No major stories to tell, but we have reaffirmed that burgers are much better when you add sauteed onions and sauteed mushrooms to them. I also believe that Matt and Bill would agree with this assertion. Also undeniable: eating 2 burgers is more awesome than eating 1 burger.*

I wonder if burgers will be on the menu at Mom & Chuck's wedding next weekend. . .

I also wonder if people will be annoyed that they were expecting a super-awesome story and instead got this. Sorry!

-Jon

*This does not apply to R.F. O'Sullivan, where eating 2 burgers will almost certainly kill you from beef poisoning. It's like alcohol poisoning for meat.

Yes, I Know They Feed You at Weddings. . .

But that still didn't stop me from eating "dinner" a few hours beforehand. I met up with Amy and Scott at the hotel around 3 or so. Luckily for us, we found out that the wedding we were there for was at 5:30, which was good since none of us had any idea about the time as of the morning of the event. As a side note, this story doubles as a strong motivator for paying more attention to where I put wedding invitations in the future.

Since the wedding was at 5:30, we figured dinner wouldn't be until somewhere around 9, and that is far too late. We went over to T.G.I. Friday's because it was the closest restaurant that we could see from the hotel.

The winning menu choice: the Jack Daniels burger. Burgers with alcohol or beer-based sauces seem to be the new big thing these days. I would say that this is because they are fantastic. Especially if you order them rare and they actually come that way. Know who could learn something about rare burgers? Uno's. Sometimes there, rare is interpreted as well done, and that is just a terrible thing to do to a burger. This story is kind of rambling.

As for the wedding, it was a good time. Congrats to Scott and Courtney (a different Scott from the previously mentioned one).

-Jon

PS - I wrote this whole post while watching the TV, so anything spelled wrong or anything that makes no sense at all is because of that.

Open House is Scary

Thursdays are exciting days because they are the days that I eat dinner with Dad and Kelly, and it's always a surprise what dinner is going to be. This particular Thursday was also Open House at work, which meant that after whatever surprise meal I ate, there was a minor chance that it would later be vomited up due to massive nervousness in front of a bunch of parents. Boy, that would make a great story.

It didn't happen though.

Dinner was bacon cheeseburgers, which is always a great addition to cheeseburgers. Also some baked beans were involved, and they also contained bacon. Really, bacon is a great addition to everything. Maybe I could make a blog about that. . .

Just kidding; I can barely keep this one updated. And I eat much more bacon than I eat cheeseburgers.

Open House also went smoothly. At least it did from my perspective. Who knows what those poor parents were thinking. If I had to guess, I would say that some of the thoughts were "why does he keep looking at the side wall there?" or possibly "wow, [their kid's name] was right about this guy. He's crazy."

Oh well, there's always next year to try to do it correctly.

-Jon

PS - Is anyone else as baffled by the fact that I don't have a tag for bacon as I am?

PPS - Why is each post's font size different? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here!!!

That Was a Wet Evening

Never one to turn down a gift, I gladly accepted Chuck's offer of a pair of Red Sox tickets that he couldn't use. Kathryn was also more than willing to take a free game. Unfortunately, the weather was quite threatening as we headed down the Mass Pike, so we had some concerns about how much use we would get out of them.

We decided to forego the bus because if there was a major rain delay, the bus would not be leaving until the game was officially called. Instead, we decided to drive to Somerville first and have a burger with Alex and Erica. At this point, there was not really much rain, but the signs of future rain were apparent.

The four of us headed over to R.F. O'Sullivan, and, surprisingly, were able to immediately get a table. It looks like 5:30 on Saturday is not a busy time. Since I went for the Black & Blue Burger last time (see previous post I believe), it was time to go back to the Blackjack Burger. Good choice. It was equally delicious as previous editions of said burger. Plus this is one of the few places that will give you a rare burger. I know I have said that before, but I think it's important to bring up every time. Maybe other places could learn a thing or two from my eloquent words.

Possibly even more impressive than the burger was the fact that Kathryn finished her entire burger. These things are roughly the size of her normal sized head. And thus about half the size of my oversized melon.

After the burger, we walked down to the T-Station and headed for Fenway. Once we arrived at Kenmore, we were a little concerned because it was already 7:30 and, as it was not raining, we thought we had missed a few innings.

Boy were we wrong. Not only did we not miss anything, but the game didn't start until 9:14. A slightly more than 2-hour delay during which it rained for a total of 7 minutes. Seven minutes!!! At least the grounds crew kept things interesting by continually fooling around with the tarp and making the entire crowd think the game was about to start. Let's put it this way. During a real rain-delay at Fenway, the entire front section of the stadium is empty. During this delay, every person was still in their seats. So ridiculous.

By the time the 5th inning ended, the Sox were up by a ton and it was starting to rain again. We decided (along with about 13,981 other people) that it was time to go and took the T back to Porter Square. Of course, by this point it had stopped raining again, and we decided to walk instead of calling Alex for a ride.

Big mistake.

We made it about halfway before the sky opened up on us. By the time we got to Alex's apartment, it looked like I had just gotten out of the shower.

But the Sox won, and I did get a burger. I am still calling the night a win.

-Jon

A Marathon Burger Day, or Burgers for Breakfast

After a depressingly long hiatus from rounded meat patties, today I ended up eating nothing but cheeseburgers. And side dishes that go along with cheeseburgers. And maybe a cookie too. It was a good day.

I picked up Bill at Logan after his trip to California since apparently no one else was able to do it. This was slightly after 10:00am. As we were navigating Logan's treacherous road system (which I believe was designed by a guy who was inspired by the web of a drunk spider), he suggested that we could get burgers at RF O'Sullivan since we were sort of close to it. I gave them a call and found out they opened at 11, so that was good news. I was also shocked to find that I was able to get there from the eastern side of Cambridge, since that meant I needed exit 20 instead of exit 18, even though I was going to the same place. I put that little tale in there because someone else has got to find that strange.

It turns out that 11am is a good time to beat the rush, since we were the first people there. Surprisingly, another group of people came in as well. That's how good the burgers are. I had the Black & Blue burger again, and it was super again. My only issue with it is that they use bleu cheese dressing and put it on last, which meant that by the end of the meal I had bleu cheese hands.

Also, their pickles aren't great.

Fast forward to dinner, and it was burgers again! Mostly because Chuck was bribing me, Bill, Kathryn, Mia, Nate and Mia's roommate Sarah Beth with burgers in exchange with assistance in addressing wedding invitations. The burgers of the night, at least for me, were made with both bleu cheese and American (melted over the crumbled bleu cheese to keep it from escaping), mushrooms and sauteed onions. Then we got wild for the 2nd burger and actually put the bleu cheese inside. That was an even better method to prevent premature bleu cheese jail breaks.

I have a strong suspicion that today will be far less burger-filled.

-Jon

More Fast Food

Now, the first burger after a trip to RF's is always going to suffer from high expectations, so it was not going to bode well for the burger we grabbed on the way home that we stopped at Wendy's. Since I'm not a huge fast food fan in the first place (exception made for In-N-Out Burger of course), there is not much chance that I was going to be wowed by this thing.

After we left Boston, we traveled about 13 minutes before I fell asleep. Then I woke up and found that we had only gone like 3 exits and then hit some ridiculous traffic. It was completely stop-and-go, with most of the emphasis being on the stop part. Finally we decided that route 20 might be a better choice, and weaseled our way off the highway at exit 10A. And that decision brought us to Wendy's.

A long time ago I was told that it's always better at a fast food place to make a special order so that there is no way they can give you a burger that has been sitting a while. Wendy's makes this easy to do because they commit burger Sin #1 and have mayo on their Big Bacon Classic. Side note - the Big Bacon Classic has been demoted from the list of numbered meals. What is that about? Amy and I both opted for the BBC, while Scott chose some sort of chicken looking thing. That burger was exactly what you would expect from Wendy's, with the added bonus of being put together really sloppily.

Three hours after departing, we finally arrived back at Ludlow. This is far too long of a time for that trip. At least the rest of the weekend was super wacky.

-Jon

It's Been Too Long

I don't even remember when the last time I had an R.F. O'Sullivan burger was. I mean, obviously I could look back and figure it out, but that is not going to happen after the number of "sodas" I have consumed at the present. Basically, it's been far too long.

It's pretty much a mini-RPI reunion here at Alex's apartment, which is much smaller than it should be for this number of people. Also, there is currently a dog on my bed. Well, air-mattress.

But I digress.

We went to R.F. O'Sullivan (and Son) for dinner, because that just has to happen. It's literally around the corner. Not going would be a crime against. . . burgers? I am not sure. A crime against someone anyway. Scott and Amy were my ride, so we arrived, drank some #9s, and headed over to meet Erica at the Church of Burgers. After a long wait (like 26 minutes), we got our table and menus, which were completely unnecessary. All 5 of us got various versions of the Blackjack Burger, which, if you recall, is currently the reigning burger champion. Also, we got more beer (I mean soda), which was probably not needed. At least some of it was Summer Ale.

The burger was as delicious as I remember, which is great since a lot of the time things end up being crappy when you try them again later. Like the movie Mighty Ducks? Remember that movie? Watch it again, and you will be incredibly disappointed.

Alright, I should probably end at this point. If the post doesn't make sense, we will just blame it on the fact that I am in quite a bit of pain after dropping a 60-lb weight on my foot this morning. That or the booze. Take your pick.

Editor's note - It is now the next night, and that dog ended up ruining a good night of sleep for at least 3 people. And I still have very little idea what I was trying to convey when I typed this up the first time. Apologies for that. I will (not) try harder in the future.

-Jon

All Sorts of Stories

Well, it's really only a couple stories, but they are fairly entertaining to me. Of course, I have the attention span and sense of humor of a 13-year old so that may explain a lot of it.

The annual birthday party of Nick took place yesterday, and it contained, among other things, grilled cheeseburgers. Or possibly grilled charcoal. Nick was a little bit intoxicated, so he may have possibly forgotten about the burgers for a while, which meant any burgers that were in the center of the grill looked a lot like Brillo pads. And I still ate two of them. I think I have a problem. . .

After eating those burger-like substances, I ended up getting into a few games of beer pong with James since either Nicole didn't want to play anymore or she was banned from the team for ineptitude. After a tough first game, we called for a rematch and things got real. We won the first game in fairly standard fashion, but it was game 2 that was truly impressive. In that game, we were able to both sink twice in a row (balls back!), and won the game in under 4 minutes. It was probably the greatest game of beer pong ever played (that night). Then we won a couple more games until things kind of wound down. Which leads to story number 2.

Nick has a pretty extensive bar in his (parents') basement. It's like being in an actual bar, just with better lighting. And I'm pretty sure this bar is the reason for the downfall of last night's beer pong, because after our last victory we found out that everyone was downstairs doing various shots. That's acceptable though, because shots are fun. The last one we ended up doing was a shot of absinthe, which I am fairly certain used to be illegal in the US. My guess is that it was banned because it is terrible. It was like bad licorice jelly beans, except the taste stays in your mouth. Plus I didn't even see any weird stuff like in Eurotrip. How silly.

Also, I am going to tell one more story even though it didn't happen last night, just because the main protagonist was at the party and that's good enough for me. Last week, or maybe the week before, or possibly sometime before that (the date is unimportant), we were at the Lighthouse enjoying a beer or 5 and just generally being silly. After a while, I decided it would be fun for Dan to talk to anyone around us, which ended up being a girl named Samantha. Despite all of Dan's charm, it just wasn't meant to be because after a while she finally told him that she had a boyfriend. His response was classic: "That's debatable." Since then, anything that is a fact we don't like has become debatable. Thanks, Dan.

-Jon

My Tire is Fixed

Being as it's summer and I have pretty much nothing important to do or places to go, the fact that I ran over a nail somewhere back in July was not enough of an impetus to actually get the tire fixed. Fast forward a couple weeks, and I was finally bored enough to take my car in. Turns out that nail holes near the sidewall are not fixable, which means I got to shell out lots of dollars to replace a tire with a small hole and tons of tread left. How fun.

Anyway, since Town Fair Tire is apparently the best tire place around because I was told it would be a couple hours until they replaced the tire. That is a long time, so I called Bill for a ride. Since it was about 2 or so, and Bill apparently gets up around 1, I was hungry for lunch and he was hungry for "breakfast." We went to Ruby Tuesday, which surprisingly has not changed its menu since the last time I was there. Must be a record!

I ate the Alpine Swiss burger, which was good. And super-juicy. It was like the thing had sprung a leak. I was amazed that one burger could result in that much liquid on the plate afterwards. Then I put my napkin in the excess juice so it would soak it up to play a joke on the waitress. It worked! My life is quite exciting.

-Jon

Probably Not New Jersey's Best Work . . .

This weekend was the big trip to Baltimore to see the Sox take on the lowly Orioles. First of all, Camden Yards is much too nice of a ballpark for a team like Baltimore to have. It's really not fair. Second of all, there is some sort of crazy outside drinking festival that apparently takes place after every game right across the street from the park. That was a fun time, mostly because James, Joe, Bill and myself decided to ask every guy who walked by if he had met Lindsay. If you haven't seen How I Met Your Mother, you won't get what was going on.

After having some gastrointestinal difficulties on Sunday morning (a burrito looks surprisingly similar coming back up as it does on its way down), I was really hungry by the time we were going home. The bus hit a rest stop somewhere in New Jersey, and our choices were Roy Rogers, Pizza Hut or Blimpie (which I am pretty sure was the cause of the vomiting from earlier in the day). I'm aware that Blimpie doesn't serve burritos, but I think the sandwich from Blimpie caused my stomach to reject the burrito I had for dinner. Regardless, I ended up choosing a bacon cheeseburger from Roy Rogers and then loading it up with tomatoes.

Boy was that a mediocre burger. Even with my incredibly low expectations, I was still disappointed. I have no idea where we were, but I hope we weren't in New Brunswick because that would mean I missed out on New Jersey's best burger.

On the plus side, the Sox won both games we attended, so we had that going for us. Which is nice.

-Jon

A Pre-Dinner Burger

After several days (or probably months) of mocking Melissa for not having seen The Big Lebowski (technically she saw part of it but made the unforgivable mistake of falling asleep during it), we finally scheduled a Lebowski-viewing and White Russian-drinking event at our house. Also, since some people can't order pizzas correctly, James took care of the ordering, meaning we actually got a buffalo chicken pizza from Palermo's as opposed to some weird chicken club pizza from Pinocchio's.

And I told you that story so I could tell you this one. Since the Lebowski showing wasn't occurring until around 8, I still decided that I could use a free dinner at Dad & Kelly's, which just happened to be cheeseburgers. Nice rare cheeseburgers. Sadly, there were no tomatoes, but that is not quite a deal breaker.

Of course the movie was again fantastic, just like the first 36 times* I've seen it. Also, I seem to go a little heavy on the Kahlua in my White Russians. We finished off the Kahlua bottle before the vodka even though there are supposed to be equal parts of each. Oops.

-Jon

*I have no idea how many times I've actually seen that movie. I would put the total well over 25 though.

The 3rd Annual Birthday Bash

For the 3rd straight year, Melissa's and my birthday celebration (which, yes, I know this is far in advance of my actual birthday) took place and was quite the festive occasion. Nice weather? Check. Keg of Summer Ale? Check. Cheeseburgers? Check. Five-layer taco dip? Hey, where'd those other 2 layers go??

It turned out that we got one of the only sunny days that have occurred in July, although it did pour last night. Or someone stood on the roof outside my bedroom window with a hose. I wasn't really paying close attention. After eating about half of the taco dip, I figured I would be good to go in the eating department until I saw some people wandering around with burgers. Clearly I needed to get my hands on one of those! A few minutes and a slice of pepper jack cheese and tomato later I was able to obtain a super greasy burger. And some pasta salad. I also was about to eat some jambalaya until I noticed the shrimp in there. Boy, would that have put a damper on the entire afternoon.

Eventually the mosquitoes took over the party, so things had to move inside before all our blood was taken by them. All in all it was a good time; now I just have to wait to see all the crazy pictures on Facebook of what REALLY happened.

-Jon