Oh yeah. . .

I guess I forgot about the last burger of the Vegas trip. Which is strange, because it was by far the best one. And I got an enormous glass (if that's the right word for the monstrous container) of Sam Adams, which I was allowed to wander the casino with.

After James and I abused the craps table at Casino Royale for $96 and $248 respectively, the 6 of us headed to ESPNZone for dinner on James' recommendation. It did not disappoint. I went with the Black and Blue Burger, mostly because it had a funny title. But also because how often do you get a burger that is covered in gorgonzola cheese? It also had blackened spices, which based on my cooking is just a fancy word for burnt, but this time meant "delicious." I guess I have a few things to learn about cooking. There was also some chipotle sauce on that bad boy, which was a fantastic choice. Hands down, it was the best of the 5 Vegas burgers, and would give some of R.F. O'Sullivan's a run for their money.

We also had the enjoyment of being next to a wall covered in TVs showing like 13 different sporting events, but the most exciting was a hockey game. No, seriously! There was a drunken group of guys who had to be from Canada based purely on their love of hockey and their intense cheering for Calgary. Which meant that I was also cheering for Calgary, only because it meant I could start yelling in a restaurant without any consequences. Ah Vegas, I do so love your open container laws.

-Jon

The First Fast Food Appearance

It's no secret that I am a fan of The Big Lebowski. Hell, I went as Jesus Quintana for Halloween. So the fact that In-N-Out Burger is mentioned in the film meant that if I ever had the opportunity, I had to get a burger there. Now, since for the first 25 years of my life the farthest west I had ever travelled was the Gulf coast of Florida, and since In-N-Out Burger is primarily located on the west coast, I didn't expect the chance. However, the trip to San Diego last spring changed that, and I was a huge fan.

Fast forward to Vegas, and at about 6:34 am on Saturday morning I get a text from Jenny of a picture of In-N-Out Burger. At this point, my lunch (which ended up being breakfast) was planned. There isn't really anything to say about it; if you've had one, you know it's good stuff. Plus, there is a guy who runs potatoes through some kind of crazy fry-making machine all day and that is just hilarious.

Also, this will probably be the only burger from a fast food chain that makes this blog. Unless I find a Fatburger somewhere, which gets eaten strictly because of a Notorious B.I.G. reference. I am highly suggestible.

-Jon

3 Days, 3 Burgers

Now, our original plan for Thursday was to go to ESPNZone, but they don't take reservations and we were somewhat pressed for time so we ended up at Planet Hollywood based on the fact that it was the first restaurant I saw and I am loud.

I am not positive, but I believe my love of bacon has been well documented at this point, so it was a no brainer to order the BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger. James also went the same route, but as we will see later, his performance could use a little work.

Planet Hollywood may in fact be the longest restaurant in the entire world. I am pretty sure that we needed to use a GPS to get ourselves out of there by the end, but I may be mistaken because I was still high on bacon. And some crazy drink called a Cool Runnings (yeah, all the drinks are named after movies, but that was the only one that involved bobsleds) which was loaded with 151 and probably the greatest drink ever made.

I would definitely recommend that burger, but I would not recommend cutting it in half to eat if you are a man. Real men eat burgers the way God intended. As soon as you've picked it up, you eat until the whole thing is gone. Cutting burgers in half is weak. Obviously, someone who ordered the BBQ Bacon burger cut it in half. I am not sure who though. . .

-Jon

Jimmy Would Not Approve

After a day spent almost entirely walking and drinking (James and I had our first beer at about 12:01 pm), we headed for Margaritaville for dinner. This later became a recurring joke for the rest of the week, but that is not the focus here. The first thing I learned was that mixing an NSAID with a day of drinking makes me a whole lot more twitchy than usual, and also keeps me from enjoying an alcoholic beverage while waiting for a table. But, like a true soldier, I managed to overcome the synergistic effects and get my Red Stripe on with the burger.

Speaking of which, if you call your burger the Cheeseburger in Paradise, you had damn well better be sure you know the song. Especially if you are serving a crazy customer (I am in that category). If the song claims the burger has an onion slice, and you serve the burger without an onion slice, people (me) may be upset. Fortunately, they did have Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes, so at least they paid some attention. And that 57 sauce is pretty good. We'll have to acquire some for the new pad.

Other than failing to actually follow the lyrics, the burger was good. I would eat more of them, but not in Vegas since there were way more awesome burgers to follow. On the plus side, James passed out at the table and there were several balloon hats around, and that's some amusing stuff. And the next day, the burgers started to really pick up.

-Jon