The Burger's Just the Beginning

Today was a big day. And since there was a burger involved, you get to hear all about it.

We went out to lunch with Chris because he is not generally home and lunch seemed like a good way to acknowledge his presence. Despite my better judgment, we decided to go to Red Robin. Apparently my family loves that place. As previously promised, I ordered the Banzai Burger to test my new theory of "Meat and Fruit is not that bad." Admittedly, the theory's name could use some work. Give me a break though, as I am not really trying that hard.

The burger has some kind of teriyaki sauce along with slices of pineapple, which means it's like a shish-kebab in burger form. There is also lettuce, tomato and onion, because that seems to be the required topping for all of their burgers. Except for that one with mushrooms, because that would just be weird. I was surprised by how good it was. I probably shouldn't have been after trying that burger at James and Nicole's, but I was still skeptical. Well, call me a convert.

That burger was just the kickoff to a wild and crazy evening. After lunch, I packed up my stuff and got ready to head to the MGM at Foxwoods for the Beach Boys concert with Kathryn, Mom and Chuck. I think that would have been the last thing to ever occur 10+ years ago, but now I am all grown up so it's cool. For some reason, Google Maps decided that the best way to get there would be to go on Route 2, then get off of Route 2 for a little bit, and then immediately get back on Route 2. Jerks. We did end up getting to the hotel easily after that, with no major problems other than my newfound lack of respect for Google.

Alright, check into the hotel, change clothes and then off to MGM, right? Wrong! The hotel shuttle was actually a limo, so we got the last 4 spots and got ready to leave. The limo made it about 30 yards, to the end of the driveway, and then just died. Alright, new limo, and attempt 2. This time we actually made it. Hooray! Let's kill some time before the show.

Ok, so it turns out that Mom had never been to a casino before. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to have her first experience be at the largest casino in the country. She looked like a country bumpkin, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I think she managed to survive mostly unscathed, only losing a couple bucks in the penny slots. How did I do? Hold on to that thought.

We decided to grab a snack before the show, so we went to the mini food court and ordered a couple slices of pizza. Since Foxwoods is the largest casino in the country, I am going to hand out some other awards for extremes. This pizza wins the "Greasiest Pizza Ever" award. It soaked right through the plate, and it was a plastic plate!! That may be an exaggeration, but only slightly. I actually feel a little sick just thinking about it.

After that, it was time for the show. It was really good, and it was packed. There were a couple funny people there. First was the super-excited lady in front of us who chair-danced for practically the entire show. Second is the girl was up in the front row who clearly loves attention because she kept dancing her way up to the stage and being gently escorted back to her seat. Finally, Mr No-Smile, who looked like that particular concert was the last place he wanted to be. I have never seen someone more miserable at their current location, and I teach math!!

After the show, we walked over to the actual Foxwoods building and played some games. I wasn't really planning on gambling, but the flashy lights on the slot machines drew me in. I played some game about smelly food called "Stinkin' Rich" or "Filthy Rich" or something along those lines because it's Kathryn's favorite. I didn't do very well. Stupid game. At that point I thought I was done, but I found a penny slot game called "Helen of Troy" and decided to give it one more go. After a few minutes, I got bored and moved to the next machine, which was "Golden Goose." You got bonuses for geese showing up or for getting gold eggs. This game was short-lived because every time a goose showed up, the game made an annoying honking sound. That can only go on for so long before I get fed up. Move another chair over. This game was called "Pompeii" and sucked donkey balls. I think I played for 3 minutes.

Alright, last chance Foxwoods. I'll give "Golden Gong" a try, because it almost sounds dirty. First spin, I get a couple gongs on the screen which are apparently good. The machine starts making crazy gong sounds, and I win like $4. That's actually a lot if you consider that it was a penny machine. Also, the second award of the night goes to this machine for "Loudest Slot Machine." Everything it did attracted attention from the people around me! I played for a while, got some more gongs, got some old Chinese guys on the screen which apparently double your prizes, you know how it goes. After a while, I start getting bored again and tell the game that I'm leaving if I don't start getting more gongs. Within 5 spins, I get a spin with 5 gongs. Bam, $200. I like it. I also get bonus spins for having multiple gongs and win another $70 or so. All in all, I walked in with $41 and walked out with $292.69. Hooray!!

I was definitely done at that point, as was everyone else, so we went back to our hotel. The final award of the night goes to our hotel for "Scariest Toilet." Every single time I flushed it, it was so loud that I thought I had broken something or possibly opened up a doorway to another dimension. That's just unnecessary.

It was a good day.

-Jon

That Was a Fun Day

Since we got the tickets way back in November, I have been pretty excited about the Mark Knopfler concert for a much longer time than is probably safe. Finally, the big day arrived, roughly 6 months after Kathryn got the tickets and we got our free copy of Get Lucky.

The concert was over at the new MGM Grand at Foxwoods, so we decided that it would be even more fun if we met up with Scott & Amy and Alex & Erica beforehand. This turned into a barbecue that I was unaware of ahead of time, and that turned into surprise burgers!

Scott came up with some kind of crazy concoction for the meat that started with a bunch of diced up vegetables (mushrooms, green peppers and onions), the huge hunks of burger, and then "Burger Seasoning." I believe this may be the same seasoning that was previously documented at a different cookout hosted by Scott and Amy. Those beasts looked something like this:

I am not sure if you can pick up on the enormity of them from the pictures, but they were massive. Maybe this one will give you a better idea of what was going on.

And yes, I ate 2 of them.

After that, it was time to lock up the pups in pug jail and head over to Foxwoods. Side note - I am not a fan of the new road system around Foxwoods, which causes me to freak out unnecessarily and frequently end up going in the wrong direction. Stupid Foxwoods.

Did you know that the MGM Grand and the normal Foxwoods are not connected to each other by any kind of walkway and are actually quite far apart? I know that now. It is a good thing that we arrived with ample time before the show and are excellent Foxwoods navigators, because we got the shuttle and arrived at the MGM way before concert time. In fact, there was plenty of time for us to wander the slot machines and find out that the one Kathryn likes is apparently very popular.

The show was awesome. Not so much the girl who opened, because she kept using the word beautiful over and over and played music that was a little too country for me. I may be imagining the second part though, as the guy who accompanied her had a cowboy hat on, which means I was going to hear country music no matter what he played. However, the Mark Knopfler part was fantastic. The only negative was that he did not wear a headband or wrist bands or a sports coat with weird pants, but his voice was exactly the same as I remember it from those old CDs. It was kind of weird, but it really crushed my memories of 1980s Dire Straits. I hope that Tom Petty doesn't do the same thing in August.

-Jon