Happy Memorial Day

Well, technically Happy Day Before Memorial Day. That just doesn't have the same ring to it though.

And what shows your patriotism better than eating a cheeseburger? Probably a lot of things, but I chose to express myself through the consumption of a pair of burgers. Actually they were twins, and will be described in all their glory momentarily.

Chris and Lindsay were around for the weekend, and Kate and the pugs were invited as well, so there was a whole lot of wackiness going on. Specifically as a result of Odin and Patches. Those two are crazy! Odin will probably be exhausted for the next 48 hours. The menu was burgers and hot dogs, along with Bill's baked beans, some pasta salad and I believe regular salad, although there wasn't nearly enough room on my plate for everything. I decided to focus on burgers and beans.

My burgers were both made with onions inside, and topped with bacon under cheddar and American cheese and served on a bun with sauteed mushrooms and onions. That is a hefty burger, and I easily could have been more than satisfied with just one of them. I decided to eat 2 though, which meant that by the end, my stomach was approximately 40% larger than its normal size and if you had poked me with anything sharp, I would have flown around the room like a cartoon. Luckily that did not happen.

That was a nice day.

-Jon

Inside the Burger?

Onions are a delicious topping for a cheeseburger, because onions are great. To make things even easier to eat, you can get the onions inside the ground beef so that they won't try to escape from the bun, as onions are frequently apt to do. They're very sneaky that way.

So obviously I told you that lovely onion info because that's what kind of burger I got to eat for dinner. Chuck also whipped up some of the now famous garlic mushrooms, along with some sauteed onions. Basically it was a heaping pile of the most aromatic foods you can get, turned into a delicious burger. It's also the last thing you should ever eat if you happen to be out on a first date. It would probably be ok after like 10 dates, because at that point you can generally stop trying to impress the other person. For the record, I stop trying on date #1. Isn't Kate lucky to have me?

That burger was quite delicious, and I think it was helped by the fact that it was accompanied by tater tots cooked to crispy perfection. And also salad, which made me feel like less of a fat slob. What a delightful meal.

-Jon

The Burger Triplets

Now, eating 3 burgers sounds like a lot, but they were sliders so it's not really as much as it would originally seem. Still probably more than I needed to eat though. I will have to skip a meal tomorrow.

Chuck got a bunch of mini-burgers (aka "sliders," although I am not sure I understand the name) to grill up tonight, so I signed on for 3 of them. I think a better idea would have been to have 2 of them, especially since I also ate an absurd amount of baked beans. Obviously that part of my brain that recognizes when my stomach is full was on break for dinner tonight.

There were also mini-buns, which made me feel sort of like a giant. And we had some sweet toppings, like garlic mushrooms, sauteed onions and cheese. There was BBQ sauce too, but somehow I failed to notice it until my third burger, at which point I threw it on there anyway. When you're going overboard, you might as well go all the way. Don't half-ass it.

The burgers were good, and I learned a valuable lesson: just because they're little, don't try to eat three of them. This isn't Man vs. Food.

-Jon

Reservations?

We don't take no stinkin' reservations!! That's actually the unofficial motto of Judie's, which meant that we had to wait quite a while for a table for 8. But eventually we did get a table and a delicious burger was soon to follow. And 2 new beers!

As a side note, I did another classic Jon parking job on that street in Amherst off the main street. And by classic I mean that I was at least a foot off the curb even though I had more than enough room to park correctly. That's just how I get down. Seriously, ask anyone.

Once we finally got our table, I was torn between the burger I got last time and the Cheddar, Onion & Bacon burger. I eventually decided on the latter since it was new. Or maybe not, but definitely new to 2011, and that's good enough for me! I was also torn between 2 different beers, but that's a story for another webpage. Also, I ended up not having to choose since I got both!!

They did not skimp on the onions on this burger. It also seemed to have a lot of cheese, and the standard 2 pieces of bacon. It was kind of a train-wreck in appearance though. See?

Regardless of how it looked, it was delicious! And it was cooked just the way I wanted it, which makes my tummy happen. Those fries are also pretty ridiculous. Seems like Judie has got this burger thing down pat.

-Jon

Hopefully This Won't Jinx Things

After 2010 ended with a whimper, it looks like 2011 might be off to a stronger start. Only time (and my ability to drag the people I'm eating with to burger places) will tell if it can continue.

To conclude birthday week, we went out to Judie's to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Matt and Bill's invasion of the world. And even though I had just had a cheeseburger for dinner last night, I still felt the urge to order another one. I decided on the gorgonzola and mushroom burger, which came with 2 kinds of mushrooms (I believe shiitake and portobello) and was an absolute monster. Check it out!

Holy moly! It doesn't look like it's a massive burger, but it felt like I was easily eating twice as much. It was very meaty, and the gorgonzola was piled on. It was delicious, although I probably could have gotten away with only eating half of it and been more than satisfied. Oh well, maybe now that birthday week is over, I'll stop gorging myself like a pug. It will be tough if I keep getting burgers of this quality, and such tasty fries.

Matt ordered the four-cheese garlic bread, which as awesome, and I also tried a new beer, which I'm sure you'd like to hear all about. So you can go read that if you haven't already. All around, a delightful meal.

-Jon

Twins!

After such a promising start, it ended up that October had the fewest burgers consumed of all the months so far this year. It also looks like I'm going to be eating fewer burgers this year than last year. Does that mean this trend will continue until I don't eat any burgers and then start eating negative burgers? Only time will tell. I certainly hope not, as those negative burgers sound scary.

Chuck wanted to grill up some burgers, so that sounded like a delightful plan to me. I added my extensive talents to the mix and chopped up a couple onions and tomatoes while he sautéed some mushrooms and got bacon in the microwave. The end result was this:

It's like a burger and its clone! I tried out my developing theory that putting all the toppings underneath the burger makes the whole thing easier to eat, so there are 3 slices of bacon at the bottom, with tomato slices, onions and mushrooms on top of that base. I think that I had fewer escaped toppings with this method, so more research is going to be needed for confirmation. Also, I need to account for variables such as burger juiciness and bun type. I guess I'm going to have to eat a lot more burgers in the future.

Oh, and they came out delicious.

-Jon

Home Cooking Is the Solution

The solution to what? To not having the cheese left off your burger. Because that is truly an almost unforgivable offense. Sort of like being a Jets fan.

It was burger night over at Mom and Chuck's, and they were burgers hand-made out of ground beef. That's generally going to give you the best burger, although I think they need to be seasoned a little more before they hit the grill. I put a little bit of garlic salt on them, but it wasn't quite enough. I'll be tweaking my seasoning attempts whenever people aren't paying attention over there, which is frequently.

The burgers came out nicely, with a lovely pink hue. And, far more importantly, mine had cheese on it! And also onions and tomatoes. But the main focus is the cheese. This blog could have been more appropriately titled Mmmm, cheeseburgers, but that was too long. We also had tater tots like it was middle school, fries, salad and zucchini. One of those things definitely does not fit in with the rest of the meal.

For the humourous part of this story, Odin had to spend the meal outside on the deck being sad because he doesn't know how to behave himself around Patches. He's like Jojo the Indian circus boy with a pretty new pet. And Chloe spent part of it sitting on the single step up into the kitchen, and crying because apparently it was too high for her to climb down. Pugs: nature's joke.

-Jon

The Burger's Just the Beginning

Today was a big day. And since there was a burger involved, you get to hear all about it.

We went out to lunch with Chris because he is not generally home and lunch seemed like a good way to acknowledge his presence. Despite my better judgment, we decided to go to Red Robin. Apparently my family loves that place. As previously promised, I ordered the Banzai Burger to test my new theory of "Meat and Fruit is not that bad." Admittedly, the theory's name could use some work. Give me a break though, as I am not really trying that hard.

The burger has some kind of teriyaki sauce along with slices of pineapple, which means it's like a shish-kebab in burger form. There is also lettuce, tomato and onion, because that seems to be the required topping for all of their burgers. Except for that one with mushrooms, because that would just be weird. I was surprised by how good it was. I probably shouldn't have been after trying that burger at James and Nicole's, but I was still skeptical. Well, call me a convert.

That burger was just the kickoff to a wild and crazy evening. After lunch, I packed up my stuff and got ready to head to the MGM at Foxwoods for the Beach Boys concert with Kathryn, Mom and Chuck. I think that would have been the last thing to ever occur 10+ years ago, but now I am all grown up so it's cool. For some reason, Google Maps decided that the best way to get there would be to go on Route 2, then get off of Route 2 for a little bit, and then immediately get back on Route 2. Jerks. We did end up getting to the hotel easily after that, with no major problems other than my newfound lack of respect for Google.

Alright, check into the hotel, change clothes and then off to MGM, right? Wrong! The hotel shuttle was actually a limo, so we got the last 4 spots and got ready to leave. The limo made it about 30 yards, to the end of the driveway, and then just died. Alright, new limo, and attempt 2. This time we actually made it. Hooray! Let's kill some time before the show.

Ok, so it turns out that Mom had never been to a casino before. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to have her first experience be at the largest casino in the country. She looked like a country bumpkin, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I think she managed to survive mostly unscathed, only losing a couple bucks in the penny slots. How did I do? Hold on to that thought.

We decided to grab a snack before the show, so we went to the mini food court and ordered a couple slices of pizza. Since Foxwoods is the largest casino in the country, I am going to hand out some other awards for extremes. This pizza wins the "Greasiest Pizza Ever" award. It soaked right through the plate, and it was a plastic plate!! That may be an exaggeration, but only slightly. I actually feel a little sick just thinking about it.

After that, it was time for the show. It was really good, and it was packed. There were a couple funny people there. First was the super-excited lady in front of us who chair-danced for practically the entire show. Second is the girl was up in the front row who clearly loves attention because she kept dancing her way up to the stage and being gently escorted back to her seat. Finally, Mr No-Smile, who looked like that particular concert was the last place he wanted to be. I have never seen someone more miserable at their current location, and I teach math!!

After the show, we walked over to the actual Foxwoods building and played some games. I wasn't really planning on gambling, but the flashy lights on the slot machines drew me in. I played some game about smelly food called "Stinkin' Rich" or "Filthy Rich" or something along those lines because it's Kathryn's favorite. I didn't do very well. Stupid game. At that point I thought I was done, but I found a penny slot game called "Helen of Troy" and decided to give it one more go. After a few minutes, I got bored and moved to the next machine, which was "Golden Goose." You got bonuses for geese showing up or for getting gold eggs. This game was short-lived because every time a goose showed up, the game made an annoying honking sound. That can only go on for so long before I get fed up. Move another chair over. This game was called "Pompeii" and sucked donkey balls. I think I played for 3 minutes.

Alright, last chance Foxwoods. I'll give "Golden Gong" a try, because it almost sounds dirty. First spin, I get a couple gongs on the screen which are apparently good. The machine starts making crazy gong sounds, and I win like $4. That's actually a lot if you consider that it was a penny machine. Also, the second award of the night goes to this machine for "Loudest Slot Machine." Everything it did attracted attention from the people around me! I played for a while, got some more gongs, got some old Chinese guys on the screen which apparently double your prizes, you know how it goes. After a while, I start getting bored again and tell the game that I'm leaving if I don't start getting more gongs. Within 5 spins, I get a spin with 5 gongs. Bam, $200. I like it. I also get bonus spins for having multiple gongs and win another $70 or so. All in all, I walked in with $41 and walked out with $292.69. Hooray!!

I was definitely done at that point, as was everyone else, so we went back to our hotel. The final award of the night goes to our hotel for "Scariest Toilet." Every single time I flushed it, it was so loud that I thought I had broken something or possibly opened up a doorway to another dimension. That's just unnecessary.

It was a good day.

-Jon

Getting Silly with Condiments

I am not widely known for using condiments on my food. As you probably know, mayonnaise is expressly forbidden. That one is not negotiable. If I go out places, I will probably not be putting ketchup or mustard on my burger, but I may throw a little ketchup on there if I'm at a cookout. However, in the interest of expanding my burger eating (and potentially enjoyment), I have been trying to be a little more open-minded. If you want opinionated writing that doesn't try to be open-minded, you should be at the other site. Also, honey mustard!! Can't go wrong there.

I will not be changing my opinions of how disgusting mayonnaise is though. Not negotiable!!

It was burgers for dinner, so I decided to mix things up a little. The first burger was going to be sautéed onions, honey mustard and cheese, while the second was sautéed onions, mushrooms and cheese. That way, if the mustard did not go exactly as planned (like if it sucked), the whole meal would not be compromised.

It turns out that mustard is not a bad way to mix things up. It was actually really good. So good, in fact, that I added it to the second burger. That counts as a ringing endorsement here at Mmmm, Burgers. Who knows what kind of crazy stuff may find its way onto my burgers in the future.

I also got to try a new beer, I think. Maybe it wasn't new. It was definitely the first time I had it in a bottle though, so I'm counting it. Otter Creek Pale Ale. Good stuff, if you're a pale ale drinker. Apparently I am now. Looks like all sorts of changes are taking place.

-Jon

This Story Will Be Gross

Don't complain later, as I have pre-warned you here.

Originally we were supposed to go out to dinner for Mom's birthday to a nice place, but then they decided they were going to be on vacation and ruin the whole plan. Undeterred, Chuck suggested that we go out to Red Robin instead, because who really wants to cook when it's 90+ outside. You know me: if a burger is possible, I am obligated to go for it. This will turn out to be a mistake.

I went with the Five-Alarm Burger. Pepperjack cheese, peppers, jalapeños, etc. It was supposed to be very spicy. It was not. I would give it two alarms max. I also feel like I have written this before, but I couldn't find it quickly and didn't feel like putting the effort in to really look. I guess some of that Mmmm, Opinions laziness in research has made it over to this site. It really was inevitable. The burger itself was pretty good, and they cooked it right, so I can't really complain. Red Robin also does a good job on their fries, which is a major plus. I tried them with a little of the Red Robin seasoning in the ketchup, and it was a nice change of pace. That seasoning claims to have 20 different flavors in it. Some of them have got to be repeats.

After dinner, I went down to Home Goods with Mom and Chuck and picked up some mixing bowls that I desperately needed along with a few extra pillows for Kathryn the Pillow Queen. Then we went home, drank a couple beers and played cards. So far everything is great.

Fast forward to tomorrow morning. It couldn't have been the meat, because I don't think this happened to everyone, but something on my burger was past its freshness date. The Five-Alarm Burger looks a lot better going in than it does coming back out in a semi-digested state. You can still taste the jalapeños though! This is one of those times that I am really glad we have a garbage disposal. I am also really glad that I remembered that the disposal is in the right-hand sink. That could have been a disaster.

I may have just lost a couple readers.

-Jon

Blame It On Jet Lag

I should probably warn you that this entire post may be incredibly rambling and incoherent. I'm pretty sleepy, and it's really hot out which isn't helping things. I'm also watching the Red Sox, so at most only 50% of my attention is focused on what I'm writing. Sometimes I am not even looking at the computer screen or keyboard while I type. That could result in some interesting typos.

My options for dinner tonight were: Frosted Mini-Wheats (Cinnamon Strudel or Blueberry Muffin), going to get take-out (probably not going to happen, due to my current lack of motivation to do anything) or burgers at Mom and Chuck's. Since you're reading this, you can probably guess that I went with option 3. It was a compromise between not having to get myself dinner and having to leave the air-conditioning in my living room.

I'm going to cut this thing short. Two burgers, American cheese, tomato, red onion, some baked beans, some pasta salad and a pair of Summer Ales. It was a good time. Hopefully the next time I eat burgers it will be a more manageable temperature and I will be able to think a bit more clearly. Or maybe not. If I could tell the future, do you really think I'd be spending my time writing so terribly?

-Jon

Now We're Getting Somewhere

I have heard rumours that today was the summer solstice, which I think makes it fitting that dinner tonight was burgers. Everyone associates burgers with summer. Well, a lot of people do. I obviously associate burgers with all the time. The only bad time for a cheeseburger is right after you've eaten cheeseburgers, because you don't want to ruin your enjoyment of the next burger by being full.

We had some Randall's Summer Sliders, although again, I am fairly certain you could eat them at any point in the year and still have a nice meal. Stop trying to pigeonhole my burgers!! I decided to keep it low-key and only had 3. A burger, some good American cheese, a couple slices of tomato and some sauteed onions makes a nice meal. We also had some baked beans which were leftover from some dinner Mom helped out at. It was probably volunteer work, but it would seem that they decided to pay her in beans because her fridge has somewhere around 20-25 servings of beans at this point. It was pretty crazy.

The burgers were nicely cooked and quite delicious. The beans were so-so, and I attribute that to the fact that they have probably been reheated multiple times now. Eventually that has to take a toll on the flavor and quality. These are some good lessons for Future Jon to learn.

Another good lesson is that if you are going to chop up onions and also slice watermelon, it's a good idea to either do the watermelon first or use a different cutting board. Otherwise you end up with what I did today and get an onion-flavored slice of watermelon. A watermelonion if you will. And those are not two great tastes that taste great together.

Actually, I guess that a watermelonion would be an onion that tasted like watermelon. Perhaps I will have to come up with a better name. That's a lot of creativity for one day though. . .

-Jon

This Is Not About Shot-a-palooza

I know that this burger was eaten on the same day as Shot-a-palooza, and I know that you probably would rather hear all the funny stories that happened, but it's just not going to happen. I don't think that these stories need to be immortalized on the web forever on a low-quality cheeseburger blog. Some of the people involved may need to get jobs someday, and these stories could compromise their hire-ability. You can thank me later.

Instead you get to hear some less funny stories about our trip to Ruby Tuesday. Still funny though.

My original plan was to have some pasta for dinner, but when I was offered the chance at a burger, I decided to take it. First off, our waiter talked way too quietly pretty much every time he was at the table. I had to base everything I said to him off of what other people said. Oh, Mom's ordering a water, so he must be asking if we want drinks. Why can't that guy just talk like a normal person?

I am not exactly sure what Mom got, but it included the salad bar. The only problem was that the guy either didn't tell her to head over to it, or he told her but said it super-quietly and she didn't hear it. Either way, she did not think that she should go up there, even though she was obviously allowed to as it was part of the order. Salad bar: 1, Mom: 0.

I went with the Boston Blue Burger because I wanted to make sure I didn't eat the exact same burger as last time and also because Matt ordered the Smokehouse Burger and I didn't want to be a copycat. It has onion rings, blue cheese, Boston barbecue sauce, lettuce, tomato, red onion and, unnecessarily, pickles. I forgot to check for those little dill bastards, so I ended up being slightly upset later. I really have to start reading the menu more carefully when I go places. On a positive note, I actually remembered to take a picture this time. Well, not so much remembered as was reminded, but either way, the picture happened. See?

And you guessed it; that's some Tabasco ketchup there in the middle. It also turns out that Ruby Tuesday has unlimited fries, but I didn't try to take advantage of that because I didn't want to have a full stomach for the evening's festivities.

That burger was pretty good! And it was actually cooked correctly again!! Maybe all these restaurants are reading these stories and realizing that medium-rare does not mean well done. Or maybe I've just been getting lucky lately.

After we ate, we ran over to Ocean State (which is apparently the unofficial thing to do after eating a Ruby Tuesday). As I was wearing a Lacoste shirt I got from Dad, I am almost positive that the most expensive thing in the store became my shirt as soon as I walked in the door. Take that, Ocean State!

You should ask some people about stories from Shot-a-palooza II. It was legen. . . wait for it. . . dary.

-Jon

In Which I Get Unnecessarily Aggravated

I like burgers, as you may have guessed. I like people cooking burgers for me. I enjoy trying to come up with delicious ideas for burgers. I even enjoy cooking them myself on occasion.

I do not enjoy grills with uneven heat. Especially when I am not aware of this fact ahead of time.

Dinner went from being 3 other people to being just Mom, and since I was put in charge of picking the meal, I chose burgers. Yeah, I'm a real mystery. I decided to try and be crazy and also to put some new knowledge to use, so I went for the blue cheese stuffed burger with bacon. And also with blue cheese on top, because there really isn't any such thing as too much cheese.

So I take the block of raw hamburger, which is already gross (ironically I hate having to touch raw meat, but still have aspirations of owning a restaurant; it's quite the catch-22), and separate it into 3 parts to make 3 burgers. Then I took each sub-block and made 2 mini-burgers out of it so that I could put the cheese in the middle and seal that good stuff in. And that part of the plan worked out wonderfully, minus the dry skin resulting from washing my hands 6 times. Then things took a turn for the worse.

So there was plenty of propane (which I should have checked ahead of time but didn't because I am a daredevil like that), but apparently the grill there only heats certain parts of the grill top at certain times. That is annoying. And even though both of my burgers came out perfect (give me a call, Fitzwilly's, if you need a refresher course on what "rare" means), Mom's was a little bit rare. Or you might call it raw. Let's not split hairs here. How many factors do you really need to consider when constructing a grill? 1) How many dead animals can I have cooking here at once? 2) Does this grill correctly cook all the dead animals? 3) See #1 and #2. Really, that's it. If you miss any of these things, your grill blows, and eventually you may annoy an anonymous internet loudmouth to the point where he will write a long-winded post about it. Thanks a lot, jerks.

There were also some sweet side dishes. Some kind of canned baked beans, which were not really even close to as good as the secret family baked beans, and tater tots, which made me feel like I was back in 5th grade. Also, they weren't officially tater tots, because they were Big Y brand and had some weird name like "Tot-Shaped Potato Snacks" or something equally ridiculous. And yes, I realize that "sentence" up there was a sentence fragment, and I don't care because I love sentence fragments. It would be much easier to go up there and throw a colon in place of that first period, but I would rather just make this post really long and maybe teach all (both?) the readers of this site about grammar. I am a teacher after all.

Oh. My burgers were delicious. Even though the bacon was a little crisper than it should have been, a mistake that will not be committed again. It's all about learning in the burger world.

-Jon

A Poor Business Plan

After an extended burger break, I get 2 burgers in 2 days! When it rains, it pours, or whatever that silly expression is.

The original plan for today was to go out to lunch with Mom, Chuck and Chris somewhere in Northampton. Admittedly, that's not much of a plan, but that's how we roll here. Things got more detailed with the real plan becoming to go to lunch at Paradise City Tavern. And then I got super psyched because I was going to eat that giant burger with the pulled pork.

As we were on our way to meet them, I got a call that Paradise City was closed. I thought that 1:00pm was kind of a strange time to be closed if you want to sell food to people, but I guess not. The really strange part is that according to the website, the place should have been open. However, according to the fact that all the tables had the chairs on top of them, it seems like Paradise City is operating on a new business plan where you don't let customers eat.

I have a sinking feeling that maybe things are not going great for them.

We ended up going to Fitzwilly's instead, because it's pretty much across the street. I pretty much decided not to get the Jack and Meunster Burger, because that would have been super embarrassing to write a third post about it. I ended up choosing the Mushroom Cheddar Burger, because it sounded like a winning plan. And then I had it with the red onion, lettuce and tomato, because those seem like normal toppings for a burger. It was really big.

I still can't figure out why this place can't seem to cook a burger right. When it's not pink anymore, you have cooked it too long. So stop cooking it while it's still pink. Problem solved.

It's still pretty huge, right? I think I dislocated my jaw eating it.

-Jon

A Momentous Occasion

More burgers already! This year is off to a good start.

The occasion mentioned in the title would be that I helped fry the sweet potato fries in super hot oil without burning myself at all. For most people, that would not be a major accomplishment. For me, it is great because it's probably the first time it's ever happened.

We went with bacon cheeseburgers with sauteed mushrooms and onions. This is fast becoming the standard of the Mom & Chuck burger cooking experience. Although in the future, we should probably make sure that there is plenty of propane first and start the mushroom and onions second, because we almost had a dinner of bacon topped with onions and mushrooms. Maybe winter grilling is not the way to go. Haha, just kidding. What a ridiculously outrageous idea.

I should probably have made a resolution to eat more burgers from more places, since I seem to have fallen off in the new burger department as of late. I will do what I can to remedy this. Maybe I'll even try something new next time I get to hit R.F. O'Sullivan. That would be a big step.

-Jon

That's a Lot of Possibilities

This post is long overdue, but since I am lazy all I have to say is "tough luck."

Also, it contains math.

At some point in the last 2 weeks (I believe it was a Sunday), we had burger night at Mom & Chuck's before the bros headed back to Boston. I am not sure what the original plan was, but somehow it exploded into so many burger options that it would take months to try them all. The various options included: onions in the burger, blue cheese in the burger, blue cheese on the burger, American cheese on the burger, pepper jack cheese on the burger, sauteed onions and sauteed mushrooms. I also prepped some red onions with olive oil and grilled those up. Admittedly, we may have gone a bit overboard on the onions, but to be fair, onions are delicious. And there was the option of a toasted bun, which is just a classy choice. Offhand, I think this ends up with 256 burger options based on the way I am doing the calculations. That's a lot of burgers.

After loading up with both sauteed. . . vegetables (not sure if onions or mushrooms count in that department), I decided on the grilled onion and American cheese option with onions and blue cheese inside the burger. This resulted in a burger that was about 2.5 inches tall. Also, there were two of them. I am fairly certain that was enough food to last me through the next day. But it was delicious, and I would eat another one right now if I wasn't full of pizza.

Oh yeah, the French fries were also fantastic. No such luck with the ketchup though. Really, why does any company besides Heinz even bother making ketchup?

-Jon

PS - If Kathryn says anything, this has been up for days.

Two Burgers > One Burger

After a long layoff (by my standards) from burgers, it looks like they are making a dietary comeback. I am not sure if this will keep up, since the weather is going to become less and less grill-friendly, but we'll enjoy it while it lasts.

No major stories to tell, but we have reaffirmed that burgers are much better when you add sauteed onions and sauteed mushrooms to them. I also believe that Matt and Bill would agree with this assertion. Also undeniable: eating 2 burgers is more awesome than eating 1 burger.*

I wonder if burgers will be on the menu at Mom & Chuck's wedding next weekend. . .

I also wonder if people will be annoyed that they were expecting a super-awesome story and instead got this. Sorry!

-Jon

*This does not apply to R.F. O'Sullivan, where eating 2 burgers will almost certainly kill you from beef poisoning. It's like alcohol poisoning for meat.

A Marathon Burger Day, or Burgers for Breakfast

After a depressingly long hiatus from rounded meat patties, today I ended up eating nothing but cheeseburgers. And side dishes that go along with cheeseburgers. And maybe a cookie too. It was a good day.

I picked up Bill at Logan after his trip to California since apparently no one else was able to do it. This was slightly after 10:00am. As we were navigating Logan's treacherous road system (which I believe was designed by a guy who was inspired by the web of a drunk spider), he suggested that we could get burgers at RF O'Sullivan since we were sort of close to it. I gave them a call and found out they opened at 11, so that was good news. I was also shocked to find that I was able to get there from the eastern side of Cambridge, since that meant I needed exit 20 instead of exit 18, even though I was going to the same place. I put that little tale in there because someone else has got to find that strange.

It turns out that 11am is a good time to beat the rush, since we were the first people there. Surprisingly, another group of people came in as well. That's how good the burgers are. I had the Black & Blue burger again, and it was super again. My only issue with it is that they use bleu cheese dressing and put it on last, which meant that by the end of the meal I had bleu cheese hands.

Also, their pickles aren't great.

Fast forward to dinner, and it was burgers again! Mostly because Chuck was bribing me, Bill, Kathryn, Mia, Nate and Mia's roommate Sarah Beth with burgers in exchange with assistance in addressing wedding invitations. The burgers of the night, at least for me, were made with both bleu cheese and American (melted over the crumbled bleu cheese to keep it from escaping), mushrooms and sauteed onions. Then we got wild for the 2nd burger and actually put the bleu cheese inside. That was an even better method to prevent premature bleu cheese jail breaks.

I have a strong suspicion that today will be far less burger-filled.

-Jon

Another Trip to Northampton

This is starting to become a habit here; another week, another trip to Northampton. Of course, the original plan was to go to some music thing at the Summit House in South Hadley, so the fact that we ended up eating dinner in Northampton means that things clearly went wrong. We also ended up missing a chance at a new trivia night, but oh well. At least we got ice cream!

I guess Fitzwilly's has been around for a ridiculously long time (at least according my Mom and Chuck), but it was my first trip there. It was also long overdue, because they had a great menu with like 50 different things. Not that it really mattered, since the only thing I planned on ordering was a cheeseburger. I went for the Jack and Muenster Burger. The sauce was some kind of Jack Daniel's sauce, and it was fantastic. Also, it turns out that muenster is a highly underrated cheese. Throw some tomato and a slice of red onion on there and you've got a winning burger.

They've also got pretty good french fries. And mashed potatoes. Which I stole from Chuck after they accidently gave him fries instead of his mashed potatoes and then when they brought them later he was no longer interested. That was kind of a long story without much of a point. I guess in the end I would go back there since they had so many other things to try, but I am still pro-Paradise City as far as burgers in Northampton are concerned.

Now it feels like time for a nap. We'll see how that goes.