A Nice Friday Lunch

Northampton really needs more parking. That garage is just not getting the job done.

Matt, Bill and I went out for lunch at the Northampton Brewery, and got a sweet table out in the beer garden after some old guy told us we shouldn't bother waiting and should go inside instead. Hey, old guy, I'm pretty sure you are not a brewery employee, so mind your business. Also, we ignored him because we could very clearly see a table for 4 people that was unoccupied. Maybe that old guy and his stupid party of 6 needs to go inside, but for awesome people like us, that table will do nicely.

We ordered some tasty beverages, and got down to the difficult task of narrowing down the many choices to a single meal. We also decided that we needed an appetizer of soft pretzels, by which I mean I decided this due to the intense deliciousness of their cheesy beer sauce. You can see the tattered remains of this sauce in the little blue bowl in the picture below. By the end of my fries, that bowl was pretty much clean enough to return to the shelf.

I decided on the Green Mountain Burger, which I ignored during my first pass of the menu because, for no reason at all, I had come to the (incorrect) conclusion that said burger was a veggie burger. This was not the case, as it not only was a beef burger, it also came with delicious bacon. Also, some Vermont cheddar cheese and mushrooms, but most importantly bacon. Check this behemoth out.

To make it even more delicious, Matt donated his tomato to my meal, as he is a weirdo like Melissa and doesn't like tomato. It's truly baffling.

This burger was great! I ordered it medium rare, and it actually arrived as such. You might not think that this is a big deal, but if you've been reading this blog since the beginning then you'll know how little patience I have for overdone burgers. I want them pink and juicy, dammit! And this one was definitely that. I also made myself some of my (patent not pending) Tabasco ketchup for the fries that didn't make it into the cheddar sauce. All in all, a very nice meal.

-Jon

I'll Pick My Own Toppings, Thanks

I don't mind when restaurants come up with their own ideas for toppings on their burgers, as long as they have a good variety (R.F. O'Sullivan has like 30+ burgers, which is a good amount). However, I am a big fan of restaurants that just have a buttload of toppings that I can mix and match to make my own diabolical creations. Sometimes you just want a bunch of random crap that most other people probably don't combine.

Amherst Brewing Company falls into the second category, and they have a whole lot of toppings to choose from. I was just in the mood for something spicy today, but next time I'm going to make some kind of elaborate monster burger. It shall be the stuff of legends, and many an epic ballad shall be composed in its memory, to be studied by generations to come in place of former material like Shakespeare and that junk. Or probably I'll just eat it, enjoy it thoroughly, write about it here, and that will be that.

For today, I went with tomato, onion, jalapeños and blue cheese. I figured that the spiciness of the jalapeños would work nicely with the... cheesiness of the blue cheese, sort of like hot wings. And tomato and onion are just classic burger staples. The whole thing looked sort of like an Italian flag, in a very abstract way.

Ok, so it really didn't look like a flag, but it did have red, white and green. That's Italy, right? Or Mexico maybe would be more appropriate, since it had jalapeños. I don't know, I'm not a geographer.

This was a delicious burger! Kate says that all I write is that all the burgers are delicious, but that's not true. I only write that about the delicious ones. What should I do, write that they aren't that good even though they are? She is a negative-nelly!

I also got to drink a delicious beer that I've been looking for the last few weeks, which is always a good thing.

-Jon

Promise Kept

Well, kept so far. But that's a good start.

Kate and I took a mini road trip down to West Hartford for lunch with her friends Nathan and Erin at Plan B, which I am guessing is a restaurant that feels a bit upset at the current connotations associated with that particular phrase. After a short wait (which wasn't nearly enough time to peruse their monstrous beer list), we got a giant booth and got down to the business of burgers and beers.

And our appetizer of Blue Chips, which was like a nacho platter using potato chips instead of tortilla chips and topped with blue cheese, bacon, tomatoes and jalapeños. It was delicious, and a nice complement to my first beer of the meal.

There were a whole bunch of good looking burgers on the menu, and I finally settled on the Chili burger, which comes with chili, obviously, along with monterey jack cheese and jalapeños. The default option for a side is their "Fancy Fries," but there are a whole bunch of other options if that doesn't do it for you. Nathan and Erin recommend the truffle fries or the parmesan fries, and I bet Kate will go for the sweet potato fries next time.

The picture isn't great, but it was super dim in our booth and this was the best I could do. Deal with it.

The burger itself was amazing! I know they have the fresh meat and all that organic crap going on, but they must be doing some kind of delicious seasoning thing to the burgers as well, because it came out nicely. The chili was good, but it actually took away from the burger since the burger was so good. The cheese and jalapeños were also a good choice for toppings. I grabbed an oatmeal stout to go with the meal, and that was also a good pick. But you'll have to wait a day to read about that one because I only do one beer post a day.

Overall, that was a great meal. That place needs to open another restaurant further north.

-Jon

I'm Very Sorry

I have been very bad at keeping this updated, but luckily I've only had 3 burgers since the last post. Since Chris actually has been keeping the hits rolling in on this site, I feel obligated to make a new attempt at telling my delicious burger stories. Here are the 3 I missed, although some of the details may be lacking.

First up is a delicious burger from the day after the giant snowstorm when most of the power was out. Along with the phones, which was even more annoying. Since Bill had no power, and had no way to contact me, he drove up here optimistically thinking that he might be able to watch football up here. Unfortunately, that was not the case, but we were able to finally find a place that had food available. This was very convenient, since my power had been out since 2am, and that meant that everything perishable in the refrigerator had perished.

Brick Wall Burger was serving a limited menu (burgers, fries, cole slaw), but that was just fine with us. I can't remember exactly what I went with, but it clearly contained pepperjack cheese, tomato and red onion. So I guess I do remember it, just not the sauce I chose. These burgers are no joke.

That's Bill's red sweatshirt in the background. You may be wondering why there is only one burger on the table. Funny story... true story... Bill ordered the same burger as I did, but since all the ordering and receipts were being done by hand, there was a mixup between the girl who took our orders and the guy who cooked the food, resulting in only one burger showing up at first. That was quickly rectified, and we both got to enjoy a delicious meal. Sadly, I forgot to order the right kind of cole slaw, so mine just sat there being gross instead of getting eaten.

A couple of weeks later, Bill was working in Adams or North Adams (who cares, it's Berkshire County), so he came over here when he was done with his cheese shenanigans and requested another trip to BWB. Since Kate and I aren't too picky about where we go, that was just fine with us.

This time I remembered to get the spicy slaw, which has some kind of spicy dressing on it instead of mayonnaise, which is gross. I believe that has been addressed before. I also mixed things up by going with BBQ sauce and bacon along with a changeup in the cheese department (it appears to be American cheese).

I didn't get any fries this time, since Kate was getting fries and she never finishes hers. I'd rather steal fries than let them go to waste. Both of these burgers were quite tasty, although the second one was cooked a little bit more than it needed to be. It also didn't get the benefit of the doubt by being potentially the only thing I was going to be eating that day.

We'll wrap things up by heading around the corner to The People's Pint. I don't mean that in a literal sense though, because it would have been weird to leave one restaurant after a filling meal and sit down for another. This happened about 3 weeks after the last story.

Kate and I went out for a dinner because we had been a bit lax in our grocery shopping and both of us were feeling a little lazy. We both ended up choosing The Squealer for our meal, which is a burger made with ground beef and ground bacon. The picture kind of sucks because the People's Pint is super dark and my phone's camera is from a world where making a camera without a flash is acceptable. Stupid Apple...

I was expecting this burger to be more delicious because of the bacon, but I couldn't really taste the bacony goodness. They also don't put tomato on their burgers, which makes me sad. Get some damn tomatoes!! Who's running this restaurant, Melissa? Ridiculous. Also it was overcooked, which reduced its juiciness. Never dry out a burger. Don't do it. On a completely different note, I tried a new beer during this meal, and I believe you can see the snifter in the top left of the photo.

Hopefully this will mark a return to the days of more timely burger posts. I will have to make a better effort to write the posts closer to the actual burger eating. We'll see what we can for for 2012.

-Jon

Now This Was a Burger

After the atrocity that presented itself as my last burger, there was little doubt that a burger was going to be my meal of choice when we went to Amherst Brewing Company. But there were a whole bunch of choices, so I wasn't sure which one to go with. I finally settled on the Classic Burger, Cajun Style. We also got some huge ass nachos (with chili) and some stuffed mushrooms.

Between Melissa, Bill, Kathryn and myself, we got a bison burger, a normal burger, a turkey burger, and pulled pork. Consume all the animals!! I think that's Melissa's burger in the background below as a matter of fact. I bet mine was better.

The Cajun burger was covered with Cajun spices (I have had Cajun spices on multiple occasions, but I still don't know what they are exactly), and then topped with blue cheese and bacon along with some tomato and onion. It was a fairly formidable looking meal.

It also came with some Brewhouse fries and a little pickle. This burger was fantastic! I would rank it up in the tiers with an R.F. O'Sullivan burger, which it was actually very similar to (the Black & Bleu Burger).

If you are ever in Amherst, you should make a trip over to the new and improved ABC. All our food was delicious, and they have several beers (both their own and "guest" beers) of highly drinkable natures. It's win-win!

-Jon

The Elm City Brewing Company

Did you know that it's a shorter trip to Keene, NH than it is to go back to Ludlow? That's weird to me.

And obviously I told you that little piece of info to set up this story. Kate and I went to check out the Elm City Brewing Company up in Keene because it has beer and also a restaurant. Talk about a winning combination! Well, as long as both are good. If you want to know about the beers, you need to go somewhere else. But if you want to know about the burger, then read on!

They had an extensive menu, but I finally settled on the BBQ & Bacon Cheeseburger (at least I think that's what it was called... I forgot to write it down). It had bacon, obviously, and cheddar cheese along with their peach BBQ sauce. And it came with lettuce, tomato and onion and a pile of fries. PS - I skipped the lettuce, because lettuce is lame. It was a pretty large burger, and made the roll look undersized.

I believe those fries are known as steak fries, but it doesn't matter because they weren't that great. On the other hand, the burger was quite good. The peach added a nicely surprising sweetness to the burger, and the whole thing was ridiculously juicy. I made a giant mess eating it, which some people say is the mark of a good meal.

Both of us enjoyed our meals, so we'll probably go back there again.

-Jon

Rye Bread?

I'm not sure what you're trying to pull here, Northampton Brewery, but I'll play your game. Burgers are usually supposed to go on buns, but if you want to to mix things up, I'll let it slide. However, if it's not working, I'll be calling you out on it. And then all 3 people who read this will know. Your move.

Dianna and Kate were going to the bulb show in Northampton and were also getting lunch first. Now, being a licensed hetero, I had pretty much zero interest in the bulb show. But I'm always down for an opportunity to go eat a cheeseburger! Especially at a brew pub, which will presumably offer me a chance at a new beer. And it did!!

We went to the Northampton Brewery, which is not on the main road and often gets overlooked by silly people like me. I believe that the last time I was there I got the Blackened Blue Burger, so this time I forced myself to mix things up with the Patty Melt. It's got Swiss cheese, onions and mushrooms, so in theory it must be delicious. It's also got Reuben dressing, but that kind of stuff is not for me. Oh, and it comes on marble rye bread.

Just in case you can't tell from the first picture, they did a magnificent job of cooking it correctly. Check out that pink center!

That's what a burger should look like. None of that well done crap.

Overall, it was pretty good, although the burger itself needed a little more flavor. Without the cheese and onions and mushrooms, it just tasted like boring old ground beef. Toss some pepper or salt on there before it hits the grill! The important thing is, the rye bread was a successful bread choice. Well played, Brewery. Also, their fries are delicious! In the sad news department, it turns out that just because the menu says "Irish Fare All Day," it doesn't mean that you can get the lamb stew all day. That really ruins your lunch plans if you're Kate.

But then we got ice cream, and everything was great.

-Jon

Reservations?

We don't take no stinkin' reservations!! That's actually the unofficial motto of Judie's, which meant that we had to wait quite a while for a table for 8. But eventually we did get a table and a delicious burger was soon to follow. And 2 new beers!

As a side note, I did another classic Jon parking job on that street in Amherst off the main street. And by classic I mean that I was at least a foot off the curb even though I had more than enough room to park correctly. That's just how I get down. Seriously, ask anyone.

Once we finally got our table, I was torn between the burger I got last time and the Cheddar, Onion & Bacon burger. I eventually decided on the latter since it was new. Or maybe not, but definitely new to 2011, and that's good enough for me! I was also torn between 2 different beers, but that's a story for another webpage. Also, I ended up not having to choose since I got both!!

They did not skimp on the onions on this burger. It also seemed to have a lot of cheese, and the standard 2 pieces of bacon. It was kind of a train-wreck in appearance though. See?

Regardless of how it looked, it was delicious! And it was cooked just the way I wanted it, which makes my tummy happen. Those fries are also pretty ridiculous. Seems like Judie has got this burger thing down pat.

-Jon

How Did That Take So Long?

Paradise City Tavern in Northampton has a special every weekday from 4:00 - 5:30 where you can get a beer, a burger and fries for $6.95. Yet somehow I had never taken advantage of this, probably because that's kind of early for dinner. But it's not too early if you skip lunch! Thus, this terrible burger injustice has been righted.

The only downside is that the beer choices are Narragansett, Boston Lager and Hibernation Ale. Actually the second two choices are good, but Narragansett is terrible. It's even terrible as a Trivia Night beer, and at Trivia Night my standards are pretty low. Ignoring that sad fact, it turns out that the Hibernation Ale is pretty terrific. It's also only a winter beer, so hopefully they will have something equally delicious for a spring choice.

For the burger deal, the only option is the standard burger, which comes with lettuce, tomato and onion. Cheese is an extra dollar, which is ridiculous because you can get like 30 slices of cheese for $5 at the deli. Talk about a ridiculous markup. I went with gouda since a burger without cheese is a travesty. It looks pretty good.

For some reason, they decided that the burger needed a charred outer coating, which is a simply ridiculous notion. Who would want a charred burger. More impressive is the fact that they charred the outside without making the inside into a disaster. It's like a tale of two burgers. The outside was a gross mess, but the inside was nice and tasty. I am torn by this state of affairs. I guess I would say that overall, the burger was ok.

Also, the gouda was delicious. Don't sleep on the gouda.

-Jon

Hopefully This Won't Jinx Things

After 2010 ended with a whimper, it looks like 2011 might be off to a stronger start. Only time (and my ability to drag the people I'm eating with to burger places) will tell if it can continue.

To conclude birthday week, we went out to Judie's to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Matt and Bill's invasion of the world. And even though I had just had a cheeseburger for dinner last night, I still felt the urge to order another one. I decided on the gorgonzola and mushroom burger, which came with 2 kinds of mushrooms (I believe shiitake and portobello) and was an absolute monster. Check it out!

Holy moly! It doesn't look like it's a massive burger, but it felt like I was easily eating twice as much. It was very meaty, and the gorgonzola was piled on. It was delicious, although I probably could have gotten away with only eating half of it and been more than satisfied. Oh well, maybe now that birthday week is over, I'll stop gorging myself like a pug. It will be tough if I keep getting burgers of this quality, and such tasty fries.

Matt ordered the four-cheese garlic bread, which as awesome, and I also tried a new beer, which I'm sure you'd like to hear all about. So you can go read that if you haven't already. All around, a delightful meal.

-Jon

Better Luck This Time

After our last attempt to visit the Gill Tavern failed miserably and resulted in my cheese-less cheeseburger, Kathryn and I decided to give it another go. This time was much more successful, and resulted not only in a tasty burger, but also a delicious new beer. It's win-win!

The Gill Tavern is super tiny, so it's probably a good idea to call ahead or go on a non-popular dinner night like Wednesday. That way you might actually get a table. Kathryn told me that it used to be a general store long ago, so it looks like a little house. Except that it's a house with a giant kitchen and a bar. So it's like a Portuguese house.

I decided to get the Grilled Local Beef Burger, with cheddar cheese. Luckily, it actually came with cheese, so I won't have to flip out. See? Clearly there is cheese here.

There's also lettuce, tomato and onion. And some kind of weird roll. The roll wasn't great, but the rest of the burger was delicious. Actually, the roll almost ruined things for me until the juice from the burger soaked into it. Then it became pretty good. The burger was also cooked nicely, with a lovely pink color. There were also delicious fries, although they called them potato wedges. And they claimed they were roasted, so I guess they weren't technically fries. It doesn't matter; the point is, the burger and "potato wedges" were both great.

Then we had apple crisp for dessert. It was also pretty good. Overall, the Gill Tavern is a place I would visit again. If I can get a table.

-Jon

Getting Silly with Condiments

I am not widely known for using condiments on my food. As you probably know, mayonnaise is expressly forbidden. That one is not negotiable. If I go out places, I will probably not be putting ketchup or mustard on my burger, but I may throw a little ketchup on there if I'm at a cookout. However, in the interest of expanding my burger eating (and potentially enjoyment), I have been trying to be a little more open-minded. If you want opinionated writing that doesn't try to be open-minded, you should be at the other site. Also, honey mustard!! Can't go wrong there.

I will not be changing my opinions of how disgusting mayonnaise is though. Not negotiable!!

It was burgers for dinner, so I decided to mix things up a little. The first burger was going to be sautéed onions, honey mustard and cheese, while the second was sautéed onions, mushrooms and cheese. That way, if the mustard did not go exactly as planned (like if it sucked), the whole meal would not be compromised.

It turns out that mustard is not a bad way to mix things up. It was actually really good. So good, in fact, that I added it to the second burger. That counts as a ringing endorsement here at Mmmm, Burgers. Who knows what kind of crazy stuff may find its way onto my burgers in the future.

I also got to try a new beer, I think. Maybe it wasn't new. It was definitely the first time I had it in a bottle though, so I'm counting it. Otter Creek Pale Ale. Good stuff, if you're a pale ale drinker. Apparently I am now. Looks like all sorts of changes are taking place.

-Jon

Puppy Pool Acquired!

Wait. You don't know about the extensive search for a puppy pool? You are slacking. These blogs are required reading for anyone who has any sort of interaction with me. Well, the story has a happy ending in that I got one at Christmas Tree Shops (which was suspiciously lacking in actual trees). Odin will be rocking out in style next time he comes to pug camp.

The trip to Christmas Tree Shops was preceded by a trip to Northampton for lunch with Kathryn at the Northampton Brewery. I was seriously considering ordering a non-burger meal, but then I thought that would be irresponsible, so I ended up going with the Blackened Blue Burger, mostly because its name was alliterative. If something has a funny name or an alliterative name, I am almost helpless to resist it. This is why I was so upset when Whistling Pig was actually not available, contrary to previously posted information. You can't tell me about something with such an awesome name and then make it unavailable. Man, that's just mean.

The Blackened Blue Burger was a giant monster with cajun spices, blue cheese and caramelized onions along with the standard lettuce, tomato and onion. It also came with a delightful pickle and some good French fries, made even better by the Tabasco ketchup I used. Actually, I used way too much Tabasco, so the fries were incredibly hot. The burger itself was really good, and actually cooked medium rare. I know, I was shocked too. The blue cheese was great, but I wish there had been a little more. Some of mine escaped due to faulty burger holding, but there still wasn't enough. More cheese is always a good thing.

Kathryn had ordered a couple of pretzels with some kind of beer cheese sauce for dipping. The pretzels were the saltiest things I ever ate, but if you scraped off some of the extra salt and dipped them in the sauce, they were fantastic. I don't know which kind of cheese it was, but it tasted kind of like a cheddar. You should go there and get the recipe so that I can make it at home. It will be delicious! I'll even invite you over when I'm making it.

I also tried 2 of their beers. You can't go to a brewery/restaurant and not try what they've got going on tap. Unless you're Dave, in which case you'd probably still order a Bud Light. I had a Weizenheimer, which was a wheat beer that tasted a little summery, and a Northampton Pale Ale, which tasted like a pale ale. The Weizenheimer was great, and the NPA was ok. Pale ales are always a mystery going in, and this one was right in the middle for deliciousness.

Now I've got a big afternoon ahead of me of making ribs. This could end up messy.

-Jon

Two Down, 48 To Go

This weekend was the Vermont Brewers Festival, which was like the Brattleboro Brewers Festival on steroids. More tents, more beers, more people, more sessions, more everything! You can read about it here.

The most important thing about the Brewers Festival is that it is held in Burlington, which just happens to be the home of Vermont's best cheeseburger! It's called the Scibek Sizzler, but it may also be called the Scibec Sizzler. More on that later.

Vermont's best burger can be found at a place called The Shopping Bag. Much like its name would suggest, this place is a convenience store. As soon as we walked inside, I thought we had made a mistake. This place does not look like a burger place at all. I also thought that I was about to get beaten severely by the people I was with, because I had just made them walk a mile (half of it uphill) to get to this place. Seriously, take a look.

This does not look like the place that you're going to find the best cheeseburger in the state. Or really even find a cheeseburger period. Luckily, we saw this sign. It made me think we might be in the right place. You can also see the name difficulties that I'm having. Food Network uses the "k" and the sign uses the "c." What the hell!?

Either way, we ordered some up. James and I got the real deal minus the mayo because mayo is gross and no matter what Kathryn says, it still counts as the best burger without mayo. If Kathryn keeps up her mayo attitude, she's going to find herself sleeping in a dumpster. Kathryn got the mini-Sizzler, which is actually the size of a normal cheeseburger. Dianna and other Jon split a normal Sizzler, meaning that James and I are the burger champs. Check these things out! And yes, I asked Big Al if I could document the burger process before I started randomly taking pictures in the store.

We've got freshly ground beef, some Montreal steak seasoning, 2 kinds of cheeses (looked like American and Provolone from my perspective), bacon, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickles, ketchup and mustard. As I just said, mayo was also an option, but if you're going to be putting mayo on your burgers, we're not going to be talking. Seriously, go away. The final product was enormous. I don't think the next picture does justice to the sheer size of this burger.

What you really need is a picture of me trying to eat it. Then you can see just how large it is. I look like a boa constrictor.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I dislocated my jaw eating this burger. And it was fantastic. I don't have a lot of burger experience in Vermont, but this seems like a reasonable choice for the state's best. And it costs $5.39. You can't beat that. Next time you're in Burlington, head over to North St. (not North Ave, as apparently the people who named the streets in Ludlow also had a hand in street naming up in Vermont) and get yourself one of these beasts.

-Jon

Get Right Back on the Horse

You'd think that getting sick would stop me from grabbing another burger for lunch immediately the next day. You'd be wrong. I think this falls into the category of "if at first you don't succeed, try again." I needed to have a good burger this weekend to undo the mental effects of that Red Robin debacle.

We were going to Boston for Matt's bachelor party, so I took the responsibility for picking a place since no one else knew too many places in the city. We were staying right by the Garden, so I figured people would enjoy The Fours, the place that Kathryn and I went to on Easter. It's got good food and lots of different beers, so you can't really go wrong. I decided to get a little silly, so I got a Guinness and made my own burger. Not literally, because it would be weird if they just let random people into the kitchen, but in the sense that I picked my own toppings instead of getting a predetermined meal. I went with bacon, American cheese and avocado in addition to the standard lettuce and tomato. They had a lot more options, including chili (which I almost did just for the experience), but I decided not to overdo it. After all, we were going to be doing a lot of beer drinking in the coming hours, so I needed the stomach space.

That burger was delightful! It was cooked right, the avocado went nicely with the bacon, and there wasn't too much lettuce. The fries were also good, and we got the buffalo chicken nachos which were awesome again. All around it was a good time.

After that, things started to get silly.

We went from The Fours to Boston Beer Works right down the street to kick off our pub crawl. That's a nice little place. I tried something called "Tell-Tale Lager," which was good. I'd drink it again. They had the Uruguay-Germany match on TV, so people were getting all into that. We decided to participate as well, and just yelled really loudly every time anyone else yelled. It was a good time.

Next up was this tiny place called the Corner Cafe in the Italian district. It was about the size of my kitchen. Steve struggled with the claw machine (which ended up eating his coins without offering him a chance at a crappy prize), we lost on all our scratch tickets, and then we played Keno for a while. Not the real Keno, but the fake one that Dave played in college. It's a lot more fun, and involves a lot more yelling at the Keno TV. It turns out that yesterday was Steve G's lucky day, because his number 6 came up in probably 10 games in a row. We used that to our advantage to win $100 playing actual Keno, and walked out of there with beer money.

On the way back, we grabbed a 24-pack for the hotel room, which would quickly become a 23-pack due to gravity. Steve decided he was lazy, so he carried the beers for a little and then dumped them off on Dave. He did not warn Dave that the handle on the box was not exactly intact. Shortly after that, the handle ripped off completely and the beers went everywhere on the sidewalk. Sadly, one of them exploded on impact, leaving us with one less beer and one more story.

We ran mostly through that box o' beer and got pretty for the night out. After walking the wrong way to Park St (since me saying several times "we need to be on the other side of this building and you guys are going the wrong way" wasn't enough to get them to turn around), we ended up deciding to hit Faneuil Hall for a meal at Dick's Last Resort. That was an experience. Steve had been there before, and possible a few of the other guys, but it was new to me. The main thing there is that the employees treat all the customers like crap, and also make embarrassing hats for them. They also serve 40 oz Bud Lights, so that's a win. My ribs were cooked to rib perfection (the first bone came out clean with almost no effort, which is what is supposed to happen), and the buffalo wings were spicy enough without being weird tasting. I'd go back.

We finished off the night at Ned Devine's, which may be the longest bar/club I've ever seen. You could just keep walking and walking. It was also incredibly crowded, which made it a good thing that we had been drinking all day. I can't handle those kind of places without being properly lubricated.

All in all, it was a good night. And it probably was an indicator of future wackiness that will happen at the wedding.

-Jon

3 Burgers in 1 Day

Burgers and snack food were pretty much the entire menu for today. I suspect that it will turn out that this is not a decision that a smart person would make.

I am not really the kind of person who has a plan for his life. For instance, I have already resigned my current job without a new job lined up. Most people would not consider this to be a good plan, but for me, plans are pretty much what I make even though I generally have no intention of actually following through on them. I am a much bigger fan of just waking up and going with whatever seems to be happening. So when I heard a commercial for a summer kick-off party with beer-tasting and free hamburgers that was happening at a giant package store, that seemed like a good thing to do. And it was! All the of-age brothers (plus Tony) attended this rocking event with high levels of beer-based success.

I tried a whole bunch of new beers for the grand total of a $5 donation, and you can read about that here. I also got to eat a hamburger for free. It was still overpriced.

I understand that when you are a radio station sponsoring an event, you are probably not overly concerned with the quality of the food; you just need to get the jokers attending the event some food and get them out of line. On the other hand, all you need to improve a burger is a little bit of seasonings. Salt, pepper, garlic powder, grilling seasonings, onion powder, granulated onion. . . the possibilities are pretty much only limited by your imagination. Unfortunately, the people in charge of this event decided to choose the last option, which was none of the above. And they didn't even put cheese on the burger! And I had to wait a while for the burger, which wasn't even good! That was a very disappointing burger, which slightly marred the rest of a pretty good event.

After that, I headed over to Michelle and Steven's for their 3-hour cookout. It actually turned out that the 3 hours was not accurate, but it's much funnier if you think of it as the world's shortest cookout. Steven was running the grill, and was obviously much more capable than the folks taking care of things over at Table & Vine. Not only did these burgers actually have cheese on them, there were tomatoes and red onions for additional burger awesomeness. Anyone who knows anything (or reads this blog) knows that red onions are a great way to make a burger better. I ended up eating 2 of these burgers, a bunch of Doritos, a few pieces of barbecued chicken, some fruit and way too many cookies. Nice work, Steven.

-Jon

Brewers Festivals are Awesome

This was the first brewers festival of any type that I have attended, and it was great. The closest thing to it that I have been to was the Taste of Springfield, which sucked. Everything was overpriced, and it was in Springfield. The First Annual Brattleboro Brewers Festival, on the other hand, was not overpriced (because Kathryn bought my ticket for me. Thanks!) and was not in Springfield. Also, it was focused mainly on beer, which is obviously an improvement for me. I mean, how much food can you possibly eat compared to how many beers you can try? Exactly. Since I knew I was going to be having all new beers, I drank a Summer Ale right before we left, just out of respect for Sam. 86 and counting.

There were a whole lot of beers I tried, so I wrote that part of the story over there. (Dear Jon, could you please make the last 2 words there into a link to the other blog at some point? Thanks, Jon)

After the festival ended, Diana & other Jon, Laura, Kathryn and I went to get dinner at this place called The Marina up the road from where the festival had been taking place. It was nice if you like places that overlook ponds that are covered in tons of pollen. I got the Bacon Burger, which was disappointing. I ordered medium rare as usual, and got whatever you call it when there is just barely a hint of pink, as if the guy cooking it had forgotten what he was doing until the last possible second before it turns well done. If I had wanted to eat a charcoal briquet, we would have stopped at Hannaford's instead. Also, the fries were garbage. I ate like 6 of them, hoping that things would improve. Sadly, I had no such luck. Luckily, I ate a couple delicious things at the festival, and I know that we will be going to the Mohawk Diner in the morning (I hope the blueberry pancakes are available!), so the weekend was not a total food loss. Plus, there were all the beers. Go read about those.

-Jon

Friday, We Hardly Knew Ye

Editor's note - I am way more intoxicated than I thought I was, so apologies in advance for when this doesn't make sense, slash is unreadable.

Today was a very full day. I left the house around 7:45, and, except for the 10 minutes I took to change from referee attire to public appearance attire, didn't return until 2:15am the night/morning after. It was almost like the entire day zipped by like a. . . zipper? Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Anyways, if this were a Facebook status update, it would read something like:

Woke up, taught math for a while, participated semi-appropriately in PD, officiated volleyball, then off to dinner at Paradise City and the Gaelic Storm concert followed by a few cocktails at the Lighthouse and blackout central.

Except that if it were me making the post, I would have made it more ridiculous and in-depth by indicating all the minutiae like going to the bathroom, sneezing, driving, etc.

I swear that when I started typing this, I had a point . . .

Oh right. I had a burger tonight!

Since Kathryn and I were going to a concert at the Calvin, it only made sense that we would eat dinner somewhere in Northampton. And after being foiled many times in my attempt to eat that burger with pulled pork, we went to Paradise City in order to fulfill my meat-based desires.

Ok, that sounds awkward.

I arrived first, so I snagged a table and ordered some random beers. I chose the Green Flash Hop Head Red Ale*, and got Kathryn something with watermelon. She liked hers, but it actually sucked, while mine was super hoppy and not too shabby. But more importantly, I got a burger with at least 2 animals on it. Take a look! That thing is gigantic!

Seriously, a burger nearly the size of a pint glass? That is wild. I think I may have discussed this burger in the past, so I won't dwell on the details, but I will touch on the major points. Those fries to the right of my burger? They sucked somethin' fierce. But Kathryn's fries (not visible in the picture, as they are behind my burger) were delicious. I apparently got the end of one batch while she got the firsts of the next. What the hell!? Does Kathryn write a blog solely dedicated to burgers?? No, she does not! Impress me, jerkoffs!!

Luckily for them, the burger was delicious. Even though the went a little too far with the cooking and hit the medium cooking range, it was still pretty juicy and did not resemble a piece of charcoal. And did you see the incredibly terrible picture Kathryn put on Facebook? I am clearly enjoying myself in my burger consumption. And there were two different onion options, including the highly coveted red onion! Can't really go wrong there.

In the long run, I will probably be stealing this burger idea for Burger Bros. Possibly coming soon to the Lighthouse! But even more possibly not coming soon.

Long story short: the burger was delicious, the fries sucked, Gaelic Storm put on a great show and Jager defeated me tonight in a close battle. Enjoy the weekend!

-Jon

* - This should be a link at some point. Please call/text/Facebook me and give me a hard time if it's not a link by Sunday, April 18th, because it means I have forgotten and need a swift kick in the pants to get me back on track.

Getting Lost is Funny

Let this be a lesson for the future. If you are going to try a new place, you may want to either check the directions before you leave, or let the people in your car know where you are going ahead of time. Otherwise, you may end up driving 4 or 5 miles past the restaurant and having to stop behind a bank to pee. Check with Steve for more details.

We did eventually make it to Buffalo Wild Wings, and thought we were in for a long wait when we saw about 20 people standing out front. Turns out they were all together, so there was no problem. The next problem was that the guy told us there would be a wait, even though as we walked in to the bar area we saw at least 7 completely open tables. Turns out the wait was about 2 minutes. We hadn't even gotten our beers before the little buzzer went off telling us we could be seated. Why even bother with the buzzer? We stayed at the bar instead.

Now for the real dilemma. We were at a place that had "wings" in the title, but I have made a promise to eat more new burgers. What to do? I ate a burger with a ridiculous name, strictly because of said name. I hadn't even read the description, which made it even more awesome when the burger arrived and had pulled pork on it. Two animals had to die for me to eat last night. Take that, vegetarians!

The burger itself was the Big Jack Daddy Burger. Besides the pulled pork, it also had onion rings on it with some kind of sweet BBQ sauce. Maybe honey BBQ? I could probably just look it up, but meh. Throw some lettuce and tomatoes on there, and you've got a burger that pretty much stacks up to the Paradise City burger with pulled pork. Why do these places have to be so far away?

Also, their fries were good. Mmmm.

I also tried another new beer (which is another resolution I have made): BBC Cabin Fever. Apparently it's some kind of seasonal beer, because I had never heard of it before. Luckily, it's a good one. It tastes pretty similar to some other kind of beer that I can't quite put my finger on. I will have to consider this in the future.

-Jon

This was actually yesterday. . .

Skiing weekend is here!  Technically this is not true since I am actually (attempting) snowboarding, but close enough.  In yet another example of how my life always works itself out, I went from having to drive myself to having a ride with Scott and Amy (and their friend Krystoff) so my life became 100% easier.

Since we were going to Sunday River (in Maine), and Maine is really far away, we decided that we should probably get some food first.  Also, we were taking a really crazy Maine route, which meant that not only were we going to Maine, the land that Massachusetts gave up, we were going to get there by going through Vermont and New Hampshire, 2 places that barely qualify as states.  Clearly food was necessary.

Krystoff was a big fan of Northampton, so upon his word we went over to The Dirty Truth.  They had a lot of beer.  They did not have many burgers on their menu.  This is an unfortunate combination, because I really like the first fact, but the second makes me a little sad.  Fortunately, they did have the option of eating a cheeseburger, so that was enough for me.

That burger was a mystery.  It seemed like it was going to be really good, despite the lack of tomatoes (Melissa and Jen would have enjoyed it).  The thing was cooked to the correct level, there were some crazy chive-like things inside it, and it was at least a full inch thick.  This still wasn't enough, because even all that wasn't enough to make the burger memorable.  Even worse, Paradise City is almost literally across the street, so I would choose that place instead 10 times out of 10.

On the other hand, the ridiculously large selection of beers nearly made up for the burger non-quality.  Weyerbacher Smoked Charlie and Victory Harvest Pilsner are both beers I would definitely have again.  Too bad I'll have to get them at another restaurant.

-Jon