Kim's Potential New Career?

Since lots of people were going to be around for Steve and Maura's Jack & Jill party Friday night, Jen scheduled a cookout for this afternoon. Actually, I was informed that Kim was actually the "organizer," except that she didn't plan the menu, or bring the beer, or do the cooking. Perhaps her idea to become an event planner should be put on hold temporarily.

Also, I won 3 raffle prizes at the Jack & Jill, bringing my total raffle prizes won lifetime to 4. The best prize was probably the grill plus friends set, which had a grill, grill tools, 22 spices, some towels, 2 cookbooks and possibly a couple other things that I forgot. I also won 2 beer-themed prizes. Score.

Now on to the cookout. I went with another triple-cheese burger, but I'm not sure which 3 cheeses it was this time. I am sure of American and provolone, but the 3rd one is a mystery. Last time it was Swiss cheese, but I don't think it was this time. My money is on cheddar. There was also tomato, which I was forced to cut using a paring knife. Have you ever tried cutting a tomato with a paring knife instead of something useful? I don't recommend it. Those slices were horribly uneven. I am actually a little embarrassed.

At least the burger was good. It seems that the more cheese options you have, the better the burger. I am pretty sure that there has to be a cap somewhere, because eventually there's going to be too much cheese. However, the limit is definitely not 3. I am excited to try the rarely mentioned quadruple-cheese burger in the near future.

Also, I was peer pressured into registering the name for Mmmm, Beers. You may be wondering why it's Mmmm, Beers and not Mmmm, Beer. Well, you can ask the douchebag who already took Mmmm, Beer and did absolutely nothing with it. Jerk. There's no beer-related content yet (as of this posting), but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Stay tuned for all sorts of drunken rambling. You'll probably want to bookmark it now.

-Jon

Wedding Weekend

Since Matt and Tanya's wedding was this weekend, several people headed down to Rhode Island to celebrate with them. I went down with Steve and Maura the day before so that we could participate in the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. We were there a while before either, so we went over to Chili's (which was one of about 40 restaurant options within 5 miles of our hotel) and had some lunch. And beers!

After a lengthy deliberation, I finally settled on the Shiner Bock BBQ Burger. I have pretty much no idea what Shiner Bock is , but my guess is that it's some kind of BBQ sauce made out of Shiner Bock, which I am assuming is a beer. Either way, it was good stuff. There was also cheddar cheese and onion straws along with the standard lettuce, tomato and onion. There were also pickles, but I took them off and ate them separately. No pickles on my burgers!!

That was a good burger. Maybe it's because there weren't many people there, but I actually got it cooked the way I ordered it! That is a fantastic thing these days. They also have pretty good fries at Chili's. It's weird going there and not ordering a fajita though.

After that, we went back, adventured out to the church for rehearsal, and then went to a semi-fancy restaurant for dinner. As fancy as the place was, they are poor counters. Matt had told them between 35-40 people, so they set up seating for 30. Last I knew, 30 was actually a smaller number than either end of Matt's range. Eventually they got their act together and fed me a tasty steak, also cooked medium rare. Two properly cooked meats in one day? Stupendous!!

-Jon

The Luau Burger

In the quest for delicious burgers, sometimes we have to get a little wacky. At James and Nicole's luau, the menu started off with some skewers of bacon-wrapped chicken, mushrooms and pineapples before James started putting the burgers and hot dogs on the grill. Since there were some leftover skewers when it was time for the burgers, I thought that it might be a neat idea to put the stuff from one of the skewers on top of the burger.

Was it good? Good enough to do twice, so yes.

Obviously bacon goes great with burgers, and mushrooms as well. Chicken was a little suspicious, but it turned out pretty well. This bodes well for the Barnyard Burger that I will eventually develop. I was skeptical of the pineapple, but it was actually a nice addition. Maybe I'll have to try that pineapple burger at Red Robin, if I ever go back.

The rest of the party was also a good time. You can pretty much guarantee that if you have a keg of Sam Summer at your party, it's going to be a good one.

-Jon

Blame It On Jet Lag

I should probably warn you that this entire post may be incredibly rambling and incoherent. I'm pretty sleepy, and it's really hot out which isn't helping things. I'm also watching the Red Sox, so at most only 50% of my attention is focused on what I'm writing. Sometimes I am not even looking at the computer screen or keyboard while I type. That could result in some interesting typos.

My options for dinner tonight were: Frosted Mini-Wheats (Cinnamon Strudel or Blueberry Muffin), going to get take-out (probably not going to happen, due to my current lack of motivation to do anything) or burgers at Mom and Chuck's. Since you're reading this, you can probably guess that I went with option 3. It was a compromise between not having to get myself dinner and having to leave the air-conditioning in my living room.

I'm going to cut this thing short. Two burgers, American cheese, tomato, red onion, some baked beans, some pasta salad and a pair of Summer Ales. It was a good time. Hopefully the next time I eat burgers it will be a more manageable temperature and I will be able to think a bit more clearly. Or maybe not. If I could tell the future, do you really think I'd be spending my time writing so terribly?

-Jon

Happy Father's Day. . . Again

It turns out that I named last year's post the same thing, so I had to fake a little creativity. Plan on this being a recurring trend if I happen to eat burgers on holidays every year. Maybe I could get a Thanksgiving burger. . .

I could pretty much just repeat the exact same post and have most of it be true. But I wouldn't do that because that is just some lazy writing. I have a reputation to uphold. Instead, I'll add some extra stories in which I embarrass myself!

Ok, the burgers were the same ones as last year. Well, not literally because the meat would have gone bad long before today, but they were the same Big Y patties. This year I believe Dad did the grilling, but they were still nicely cooked and there was still tomato (exciting) and lettuce (not so exciting). This year also featured cantaloupe and a wide variety of mayonnaise-based salads such as macaroni salad, potato salad, and a salad I couldn't be bothered to identify since there was no chance I was eating any of them as mayonnaise is gross. They were good burgers and I was actually successful in eating both of the ones I attempted. This sort of makes up for yesterday's embarrassment. There was also Summer Ale, so I knocked a few of those back as a matter of course. Unfortunately (or possibly fortunately for my liver), I am 89 behind last year's pace. Still easily going to reach a ridiculously high total though, so don't worry yourself about that.

On to the funny stories!!

So yesterday I lost my cheese privileges after slicing my finger open cutting some cheddar for a pre-burger snack. It was still oozing a little this morning, which can't be good. And yes, I realize the irony of writing about food and then immediately following it up with blood. The good news is that Kathryn finished up the cutting and the cheese was delicious, so the only downside was the amount of Band-Aids I'm currently going through.

You ever play FIFA video games? I haven't since 2002, and I now suck at them. Terribly. It's just sad. I can tell you, however, the number of red cards you can get before you forfeit the game. Four is ok, but the fifth one crosses the line. Also, apparently you are not allowed to slide tackle people from behind when they don't have the ball. Sissies.

We also played some basketball in the driveway. Well, my brothers played and I wandered around the court occasionally grabbing a rebound or poking the ball away for a steal. And any time I was on offense, you better believe I was shooting the ball every time I got it. I was like George "Chucker" Costanza. And every single shot, I yelled out "Hand down, man down" like Mark Jackson when he announces the NBA games. It turns out that yelling things is not an effective way to get the ball into the hoop. I learned a lot today.

-Jon

I Might Be Forgetting Something. . .

I think that there was something major that happened today. . . it seems to have slipped my mind though.

I did, however, eat a cheeseburger for dinner! Kathryn and I went out to a place called Jake's up in Turners Falls for a couple of beers and a little food. I got a Summer Ale because we were eating outside and I couldn't see the taps, so I had to order on instinct. Apparently at this place, a "Big Beer" is just a normal pint, which was only slightly disappointing. I ordered the "Cowboy-up Burger," potentially named after the Red Sox Cowboy Up slogan in days of yore. It was a burger with cheddar cheese, grilled onions, bacon and some BBQ sauce.

It was also clearly one of those pre-made frozen patties that you get by the 40-pack when you are going to have a cookout. No handformed burger has a perfectly cylindrical shape no matter how talented you are. That being said, there is also only one way to cook this type of burger, which is well done. Otherwise it's still pretty much frozen. This ended up meaning that when the waitress asked me how I wanted the burger cooked, she was just wasting my time and hers. Silly woman.

Also, if I order a second Summer Ale, I do not mean that I want a Steel Rail. That was Kathryn's beer. Get with the program!

The actual burger itself was terrible, but the overall burger was pretty good. You can chalk that up to the bacon and BBQ sauce. They were both well above average. I think it might have something to do with the fact that there were at least 3 slices of bacon, which is more than you usually get at a restaurant. Good work, Jake.

Now, what else happened yesterday of note? Huh, how strange that I don't recall.

-Jon

That Was a Rainy Day

A lot of things happened today, so hopefully I don't forget any of them.

I woke up at a ridiculously early time (for a normal person), so I figured I might as well go for a little run. Good thing I did, because other than that run and a quick trip to the gym, I spent the rest of the day eating in a terribly unhealthy fashion. Actually, I ate a little fruit, but I am not sure that it counteracts everything else I did. Sorry, stomach.

I started off the day by going over to Kathryn's cousin's graduation party. This party had the interesting characteristic of being both BYOB (understandable due to it being a high school graduation party) and BYOC(hair). That 2nd one is just strange. Luckily for me, Kathryn knows all about chair acquisition, so I took care of the B and she took care of the C. Even the rain wasn't able to ruin the party due to the presence of a nice tent. And also of cheeseburgers, which I know is the only reason you're here.

I decided to try something new and exciting, so I took my burger and topped it with the BBQ baked beans. I also filled my plate up with them. Those were some quality beans! The BBQ Baked Bean Burger may have to may an appearance on the menu at Burger Bros, because it was delicious. So delicious, in fact, that it made up for the fact that the burger was pretty much as well done as it could be while still being called a burger. I should have asked for the recipe to add to our bean & chili menu. Besides the burger and beans, I also had a plate of fruit, some sweet & sour kielbasa, two of those little brownies with the white chocolate chips you can get a Big Y in the brownie platter, and 3 Magic Hat Wackos. Can you handle that?

After that, I may or may not have gone with Kathryn over to the mall to buy candles. My memory is fuzzy on this topic.

And what day is complete with only one party? Not this one, because it was then time to head over to Steve's surprise 28th party, where the shenanigans and beer were plentiful. And also the burgers. And hot dogs. And taco dip. And Doritos. And a handful of Summer Ales. Ok, so there was a lot of food here too. I ate another burger along with about infinity tortilla chips. My goal was to eat all of the taco dip, but other people were eating it too and I had to settle for as much as possible. I will have to make myself a plate of it some day and just go to town.

Both burgers were ok by burger standards, but there was nothing spectacular. Well, nothing other than my baked bean idea for the future. That is a good plan.

However, there were lots of hilarious stories to relate. Here they are, in no particular order.

• Dave threw at least 18 empty beer bottles into the pool. If you don't know why that's funny, then you probably don't know that most beer bottles will get mostly filled with water, then turn vertical and bob around the pool.
• I found golf clubs and attempted to chip a ping-pong ball into a beer cup. So close, and yet so far. I guess I should have stuck to golf.
• Jen had a bucket of small rubber duckies. No, I don't know why. Nicole and I took a bunch of them and hid them around her house. I think she still hasn't found the last 4.
• After Jen recovered the majority of the ducks, someone took the entire bucket of them and put them all over her car. Ok, it was me. I may refer to her car as the Duckmobile for the foreseeable future.
• Geoff "iced" Steve. This is the first time I've seen this in person.

So it turns out that even though we are all 28 or turning 28, we still haven't grown up. Well, most of us haven't. Growing up is highly overrated.

-Jon

Now We're Talking

It probably be seems like Mmmm, Burgers is off to a slower start in 2010 than it was in 2009, but that is only if you look at the numbers and see that I am only on pace for 60 burger stories this year compared to the 73 from last year. However, you may also realize that I have posted 5 times in the past 2 weeks, which extrapolates to 130 stories in a year as well as a dangerously increased level of cholesterol and, presumably, some serious extra poundage.

Oh well, I do it for the readers.

Tonight was burgers at Mom & Chuck's newly updated kitchen, which has been several months in the making. They have a crazy new stove that scares me because it apparently gets super hot and will probably injure me severely at some point in the not-too-distant future. Stay tuned for that story, either here or at Mmmm, Opinions.

We had regular burgers (with cheese added later due to a slight oversight on Chuck's part) with the options of bacon, stealth onions or mushrooms. I passed on the stealth onions because I thought that onions would be an option later. I turned out to be wrong there. I also put the mushrooms on the side, as I have had some troubles recently with those sneaky fungi escaping from my burger. So pretty much my burger was a standard bacon cheeseburger. Hey, not everything needs to be an elaborate creation!

Aw crap! I forgot to take a picture again. I am really a disappointment, both to myself and my family.*

The burger was pretty good. A bit overcooked for my liking, but not to the charcoal briquet level. I only had one because it turns out that I am actually very fat and need to lose 15-50 lbs. The doctor suggested the first amount, but that sounds pretty half-assed to me. Now obviously, I will fail in this endeavor, but at least I have an excuse not to eat food I don't like.

-Jon

* - I am not sure that my family is disappointed in me, but I have to assume they are.

Brewers Festivals are Awesome

This was the first brewers festival of any type that I have attended, and it was great. The closest thing to it that I have been to was the Taste of Springfield, which sucked. Everything was overpriced, and it was in Springfield. The First Annual Brattleboro Brewers Festival, on the other hand, was not overpriced (because Kathryn bought my ticket for me. Thanks!) and was not in Springfield. Also, it was focused mainly on beer, which is obviously an improvement for me. I mean, how much food can you possibly eat compared to how many beers you can try? Exactly. Since I knew I was going to be having all new beers, I drank a Summer Ale right before we left, just out of respect for Sam. 86 and counting.

There were a whole lot of beers I tried, so I wrote that part of the story over there. (Dear Jon, could you please make the last 2 words there into a link to the other blog at some point? Thanks, Jon)

After the festival ended, Diana & other Jon, Laura, Kathryn and I went to get dinner at this place called The Marina up the road from where the festival had been taking place. It was nice if you like places that overlook ponds that are covered in tons of pollen. I got the Bacon Burger, which was disappointing. I ordered medium rare as usual, and got whatever you call it when there is just barely a hint of pink, as if the guy cooking it had forgotten what he was doing until the last possible second before it turns well done. If I had wanted to eat a charcoal briquet, we would have stopped at Hannaford's instead. Also, the fries were garbage. I ate like 6 of them, hoping that things would improve. Sadly, I had no such luck. Luckily, I ate a couple delicious things at the festival, and I know that we will be going to the Mohawk Diner in the morning (I hope the blueberry pancakes are available!), so the weekend was not a total food loss. Plus, there were all the beers. Go read about those.

-Jon

Earth Day is also Jen's Birthday

If you are friends with Jen, you will probably be familiar with the phrase "Earth Day is my birthday!" Especially if you were on that trip to San Diego a couple years ago. I am surprised that no one punched her in the nose after the 32nd time. I guess you aren't allowed to punch the birthday girl. Also, I am just teasing Jen, so hopefully no one gets mad. The blog for infuriating people is the other one.

Melissa organized the mini-celebration for Jen, and decided that it would include burgers and Summer Ale, which was a wise decision. A less wise decision was my decision to have 2 burgers, because they looked like this:

Holy crap! That beast contains a giant burger, pepperjack or Monterey cheddar (each burger got one of them), a tomato slice, bacon and red onion. There was absolutely no reason that I needed to eat 2 of them other than to prove my manhood for reasons to be explained shortly. You can also see the pot of baked beans back there. They sucked. They were some kind of crummy canned crap, and even adding some bacon to them couldn't save the day. I will expect better results in the future!

The burgers themselves were good, although I think they increased the volume of my stomach by about 50%. I feel like a pregnant woman must feel, but without the kicking. Those burgers are have definitely claimed some of the valuable real estate formerly occupied by my liver and kidneys.

Now for the story about why I needed to prove my manhood.

I had my regular appointment with New England Dermatology, except that instead of going where I normally go, I had to go to the Longmeadow office. Not really a big deal as it's right near where I used to work and easily reached without much difficulty. I have also heard that there is a store called Home Goods (which I thought was supposed to be a section of a store) that has a lot of good stuff for someone whose roommates own all the kitchenware but are moving out and thus that someone will be without kitchenware. I decided that I would take a little trip there after my appointment and see what I could find.

Wow, do I not belong in that store alone.

While I was there, I counted a total of 3 males. One guy I am pretty sure was lost, because he just kept walking laps around the store and occasionally stopping at the rugs. The second guy was with his wife, and both of them were old. He'd obviously just given up on arguing. And the third guy was me, who was completely overwhelmed and then lost his cart. Don't worry though, I found it a few minutes later. Or I found the cart of someone who was buying similar items to the ones I wanted, so it's close enough. I even bought a picture, which is the first thing I've ever bought that is 100% decorative and serves no other purpose than to look nice. Don't worry; I will be pointing it out to every person that comes to my house for the first 2 months it is up. You will be very sick of it.

Once I left the store, I realized than I needed to make up for this HGTV bullshit that I am currently involved in by doing something manly. You know, like eating dead animals, drinking beer, looking at boobs, punching a hobo, yelling at the athletes on the television. . . man stuff! It was actually very lucky that Melissa was making burgers, there was beer in her fridge, and the Sox were playing. I guess the other stuff will have to wait until tomorrow.

Now come over to look at my new picture!

-Jon

It's Been Too Long

I don't even remember when the last time I had an R.F. O'Sullivan burger was. I mean, obviously I could look back and figure it out, but that is not going to happen after the number of "sodas" I have consumed at the present. Basically, it's been far too long.

It's pretty much a mini-RPI reunion here at Alex's apartment, which is much smaller than it should be for this number of people. Also, there is currently a dog on my bed. Well, air-mattress.

But I digress.

We went to R.F. O'Sullivan (and Son) for dinner, because that just has to happen. It's literally around the corner. Not going would be a crime against. . . burgers? I am not sure. A crime against someone anyway. Scott and Amy were my ride, so we arrived, drank some #9s, and headed over to meet Erica at the Church of Burgers. After a long wait (like 26 minutes), we got our table and menus, which were completely unnecessary. All 5 of us got various versions of the Blackjack Burger, which, if you recall, is currently the reigning burger champion. Also, we got more beer (I mean soda), which was probably not needed. At least some of it was Summer Ale.

The burger was as delicious as I remember, which is great since a lot of the time things end up being crappy when you try them again later. Like the movie Mighty Ducks? Remember that movie? Watch it again, and you will be incredibly disappointed.

Alright, I should probably end at this point. If the post doesn't make sense, we will just blame it on the fact that I am in quite a bit of pain after dropping a 60-lb weight on my foot this morning. That or the booze. Take your pick.

Editor's note - It is now the next night, and that dog ended up ruining a good night of sleep for at least 3 people. And I still have very little idea what I was trying to convey when I typed this up the first time. Apologies for that. I will (not) try harder in the future.

-Jon

The 3rd Annual Birthday Bash

For the 3rd straight year, Melissa's and my birthday celebration (which, yes, I know this is far in advance of my actual birthday) took place and was quite the festive occasion. Nice weather? Check. Keg of Summer Ale? Check. Cheeseburgers? Check. Five-layer taco dip? Hey, where'd those other 2 layers go??

It turned out that we got one of the only sunny days that have occurred in July, although it did pour last night. Or someone stood on the roof outside my bedroom window with a hose. I wasn't really paying close attention. After eating about half of the taco dip, I figured I would be good to go in the eating department until I saw some people wandering around with burgers. Clearly I needed to get my hands on one of those! A few minutes and a slice of pepper jack cheese and tomato later I was able to obtain a super greasy burger. And some pasta salad. I also was about to eat some jambalaya until I noticed the shrimp in there. Boy, would that have put a damper on the entire afternoon.

Eventually the mosquitoes took over the party, so things had to move inside before all our blood was taken by them. All in all it was a good time; now I just have to wait to see all the crazy pictures on Facebook of what REALLY happened.

-Jon

The Sequel

It would appear that 6 pounds of meat was more than the ten of us could eat on Friday, which meant leftovers! Luckily, James was on top of his game so he didn't cook the extra meat, but wrapped it up raw for future consumption. This resulted in the leftover burgers being as good as the originals (like Back to the Future II) and not incredibly disappointing (like every American Pie movie after the theater ones).

After a long day consisting of watching the Red Sox, drinking a few Summer Ales, halfway doing laundry and stealing a hammock (with full documentation, NOT by Kathryn. . .), James fired up the grill, I sliced up some veggies and Kathryn. . . relaxed? Regardless, we had some more fantastic burgers. Then we moved the hammock into the living room. That has nothing to do with anything, but I think it's a funny image. Those things seem much larger inside than they do outside.

Tomorrow is apparently hammock returning day, which is sad. But there's always a chance of another burger, which would make the loss easier to take.

-Jon

Here Comes a New Challenger!!

All Street Fighter II references aside, James has stepped up to the burger challenge (which has apparently started, although I am not sure when) and definitely ended up in the top 2. I think it may be between James' burgers and Nicky's stuffed bleu cheese burgers at this point. Although, Nicky says she's got something else planned for the future. I am excited.

I am not exactly sure what the name of the night was, but it was something along the lines of the Best Burger Challenge, or close enough anyways. I am not sure of all the ingredients in these burgers, but we confirmed quite a few: onions, rosemary, garlic powder, Sweet Baby Ray's and I want to say Tabasco (?). There was also bacon and pepper jack cheese, widely regarded as one of the premier cheeses for burgers. James also did some kind of crazy thing with a red onion where he put some butter and beer inside it and then grilled it whole. Next time we'll have to start that process sooner, because apparently onions take a lot longer to grill than burgers.

These were some big burgers, but that didn't stop Bill, Joe or me from having 2. Or stop Dave from somehow hijacking Nicole's burger. We also had a tomato and mozzarella salad that I whipped up while rocking out to the musical stylings of Dexys Midnight Runners (Come On Eileen, while a great song, is probably not a course of action Eileen would appreciate) and Dropkick Murphys (I would say Tessie is probably the best song written about being a fan of the Red Sox (and possibly the only one?)). That's right, you just experienced the nested parentheses. Only found here. Back on topic though, of course there were ample Summer Ales, because this whole thing happened at our house.

I think there may be more uncooked burgers in the fridge. If that is the case, I am pretty sure what dinner will be on Sunday.

-Jon

Independence Day (Plus 1)

So maybe our timing was a little off, but after all the family related foolishness of the actual 4th of July, there was a burger- and beer-filled party on the 5th of July. And after having a "real" meal for the 4th, since it's also Mom's birthday, it was nice to have burgers since that just feels more appropriate. Sort of like turkey on Thanksgiving.

After several hours in the pool listening to the Sox game, we had successfully finished the first case of Sam Adams and left the bottles all across Jen's yard. James, Bill and I also found a really fun game where you take the ice cubes out of the cooler and whip them at whoever is currently crossing the yard. Of course, this game is only fun for us, but that's not really relevant. It was then time for some grilled meat.

Even though Nicky was there, Melissa took the reins and made some burgers that were ready in a reasonable amount of time and left the kitchen looking clean. If you don't know, Nicky's cooking is delicious, but the aftermath sort of resembles a hurricane, if a hurricane could be centralized entirely in one kitchen and only attacked pots and pans. The topping du jour was the spicy Montreal seasoning along with pepper jack cheese. This further lends proof to my theory that burgers with a little zip are just better. She also grilled up some red onions, and there were gigantic tomatoes for us normal folk.

I definitely have to get some of that Montreal stuff. I bet it would even make those frozen burgers that come 40 to a pack taste pretty good. Tomorrow I am heading off to try a new burger place on Mia's recommendation. I am not sure what to expect, mostly because she is a vegetarian. Should be interesting.

-Jon

Cookout Day

James', Nicole's and my first cookout at the new house came and went in a fairly successful fashion. Of course, I am defining success as: nothing caught on fire, no one was hospitalized and the police did not show up (other than the officers who were invited). In addition, many beverages were consumed and there was no damage to the house. After being involved in so many house-damaging and police-arriving incidents in college, it was a nice change of pace.

The clear highlight of the entire party was Mom's taco dip, which lasted approximately 19 minutes. After that, James took care of grilling duties, and we had some chicken wings, hot dogs (gross) and cheeseburgers. The wings were good, but the burgers were excellent. I am not sure how I ended up with one (it was on a plate and I decided it was mine; this might not have been the case), but I was pretty pleased with the decision. Next party we'll have to go with more burgers and fewer hot dogs, since we ran out of hot dog buns and people were using our precious burger buns with their nasty hot dogs.

Also, we had several cases of Summer Ale, so there was some nice progress on this year's Summer Ale Challenge. That may have also been responsible for the mysteriously appearing burger. Good times.

More Spicy Burgers

Well, maybe it wasn't that spicy, but you would think a burger with the name Fire Pit Bacon Burger that had pepper-jack cheese and smoky chipotle spread (and yes I am currently looking at the menu online) would have at least a little zip to it.

I also learned another valuable lesson about women. Apparently if one tells you at 5:30 that you should show up any time after 6, she really means that you should show up immediately at 6 because if you aren't there by 6:13 you will get a unnecessarily angry text message about your current location. Also, as a side note, if you are already "late," (although I can't see how you could be late if the time frame is so vague) she may get upset if you open a beer upon arrival. Even if you drink the beer in 8 minutes. I know, I was shocked as well.

Anyway, I was sort of the odd man out (literally) at dinner, as I am the only one who got a burger, the only one who got a beer, the only one that is a male and the only one who eats burgers properly. Meaning rare. Technically the burger was not really rare, but I ordered it rare so I get points for trying. It seems that Melissa, Kathryn and Diana all are fans of charcoal burgers, by which I mean burgers that taste like charcoal, not charcoal grilled.

The burger was good in spite of its failure to be spicy, and it had red onion on it, which is fast becoming a required topping for me. Stay tuned for my next story in which I don't eat for 19 hours and then end the fasting with a ridiculous lunch.

-Jon

My Best Work Yet

Alright, now we're talking.  I think I'm finally getting the hand of this grilling thing.  Well, getting the hang of it again.  I guess taking the winter off really hurts your abilities.

Today there was no falling apart of burgers, nothing fell through the grating, and everything came out right.  The burger du jour was grass-fed local beef from lovely Shelburne Falls, courtesy of Kathryn.  I decided to get a little crazy and try to do something fancy, and it ended up working out pretty well.  I picked up a red onion at Randall's (since it is clearly the superior onion) and went with the Nicky S. plan of grilling a nice cross section of it.  Then I threw a little crushed red pepper on the meat along with a bit of Tuscan seasoning (which comes highly recommended by Nicole M.).  Finally, in a stroke of genius, I melted the cheese OVER the onion.  Seriously, from now on, all toppings will go under the cheese.  It's fantastic.

After all that preparation, the burgers were finally ready.  I will say this for the Tuscan stuff:  even if it doesn't make the burgers better (even though it does), it makes everything smell great when you open up the grill.  Maybe it's part potpourri?  The burgers came out nice and rare, and as of yet, there is no food poisoning.

Plus, I got to add to the Summer Ale Challenge (also courtesy of Kathryn).  Between beers and burgers, there isn't a whole lot that could ruin this night.

-Jon

Call Me Lance

Ok, that is a little bit on the fruity side, what with the ball thing.  And that guy from N*Sync.  Or the Backstreet Boys, whichever one had the Lance guy.  But I did ride a bicycle today for about 6 miles, so it's sort of appropriate, and definitely referring to Lance Armstrong.  Not that I am on any sort of health kick; it was strictly to get a burger.  And it was a fantastic decision.

We had burgers that were very similar to the stuffed bleu cheese burgers from last time.  Possibly the same burgers, although these ones were spicier.  Also, I am not sure if we had tomatoes with them last time.  But the bleu cheese inside was great again, and the bleu cheese on top (along with grilled onions, which may or may not have fallen on the ground).  Plus, spicy burgers are making a strong case for being superior than the non-spicy kind (for instance, the Blackjack Burger).  And you really can't go wrong with a couple Summer Ales.  But not too many, because it might be a crime to drink and ride a bicycle.  And I don't want any firsthand knowledge if it is.

-Jon

Burgers & Hockey

After going to the Worcester Sharks game tonight with Jen and Melissa, the number of hockey games I have attended in the past. . . 5 years has increased to 1.  Which is kind of strange, since hockey games are actually pretty fun to attend, even though we didn't get to throw those foam pucks on the ice.  I guess it was some sort of contest for tickets or real pucks or God only knows what.

Before the game, we stopped for dinner at some place called Junior's in Worcester.  It was a nice place, and we could eat outside, which unfortunately let us listen to 2 separate siren incidents, 137 motorcycles, and one guy who was driving down the street dragging some part of his car underneath for what had to be several miles.  Also, the Red Sox were getting absolutely hammered by the Rays, and that is always a bad thing.

I ended up getting the hamburger (which was the only burger on the menu) and threw a bunch of stuff on top of it, like bacon, onions, mushrooms and cheese, in addition to the tomato that it came with.  There was also lettuce, but it didn't make the cut.  And even though I ordered it rare, and this burger came anything but rare (more like medium well, but hey, cooking is hard even if it's your JOB!), it was still pretty good.

Also, the fries were fantastic.  You gotta have good fries to go with a good burger.

-Jon