In Which James Outdoes Himself

Long time readers of this fantastic blog may remember that James made some pretty elaborate burgers a couple years ago. Well, he was back at it this weekend in the sequel to those burgers.

I had a pretty rough day working at a track meet where we were threatened by a thunderstorm, resulting in a pretty lame 30-minute delay as required by law, followed by some sideways rain. However, that pales in comparison to the Tough Mudder that James, Jen, Adam and about 5000 other people decided to subject themselves to up at Mount Snow. I didn't hear all the details, but I know it involved 10 miles of running/jogging/dragging your mutilated body along, getting shocked, swimming in ice water, climbing several consecutive 12-foot high walls, and carrying logs. Those people are nuts.

And then, after all that, James cooked food for us. What a nice guy. Also, there was bacon. Seriously, who doesn't like bacon? I mean, aside from Lindsay...

Yeah, that's my burger. Check out the volume of bacon on this thing! I got my serving of bacon, and I also got Lindsay's bacon because she wasn't going to eat it. There's also a slice of tomato and some red onion under the burger and pepperjack cheese on top. Can't go wrong with that combination.

I think that these burgers were even more delicious than the last ones. However, that could be because I was slightly wasted last time and my taste buds were not at their peak functioning. Regardless, these burgers were fantastic, and some of the best I've had in recent memory.

-Jon

Happy Father's Day. . . Again

It turns out that I named last year's post the same thing, so I had to fake a little creativity. Plan on this being a recurring trend if I happen to eat burgers on holidays every year. Maybe I could get a Thanksgiving burger. . .

I could pretty much just repeat the exact same post and have most of it be true. But I wouldn't do that because that is just some lazy writing. I have a reputation to uphold. Instead, I'll add some extra stories in which I embarrass myself!

Ok, the burgers were the same ones as last year. Well, not literally because the meat would have gone bad long before today, but they were the same Big Y patties. This year I believe Dad did the grilling, but they were still nicely cooked and there was still tomato (exciting) and lettuce (not so exciting). This year also featured cantaloupe and a wide variety of mayonnaise-based salads such as macaroni salad, potato salad, and a salad I couldn't be bothered to identify since there was no chance I was eating any of them as mayonnaise is gross. They were good burgers and I was actually successful in eating both of the ones I attempted. This sort of makes up for yesterday's embarrassment. There was also Summer Ale, so I knocked a few of those back as a matter of course. Unfortunately (or possibly fortunately for my liver), I am 89 behind last year's pace. Still easily going to reach a ridiculously high total though, so don't worry yourself about that.

On to the funny stories!!

So yesterday I lost my cheese privileges after slicing my finger open cutting some cheddar for a pre-burger snack. It was still oozing a little this morning, which can't be good. And yes, I realize the irony of writing about food and then immediately following it up with blood. The good news is that Kathryn finished up the cutting and the cheese was delicious, so the only downside was the amount of Band-Aids I'm currently going through.

You ever play FIFA video games? I haven't since 2002, and I now suck at them. Terribly. It's just sad. I can tell you, however, the number of red cards you can get before you forfeit the game. Four is ok, but the fifth one crosses the line. Also, apparently you are not allowed to slide tackle people from behind when they don't have the ball. Sissies.

We also played some basketball in the driveway. Well, my brothers played and I wandered around the court occasionally grabbing a rebound or poking the ball away for a steal. And any time I was on offense, you better believe I was shooting the ball every time I got it. I was like George "Chucker" Costanza. And every single shot, I yelled out "Hand down, man down" like Mark Jackson when he announces the NBA games. It turns out that yelling things is not an effective way to get the ball into the hoop. I learned a lot today.

-Jon

Probably Not New Jersey's Best Work . . .

This weekend was the big trip to Baltimore to see the Sox take on the lowly Orioles. First of all, Camden Yards is much too nice of a ballpark for a team like Baltimore to have. It's really not fair. Second of all, there is some sort of crazy outside drinking festival that apparently takes place after every game right across the street from the park. That was a fun time, mostly because James, Joe, Bill and myself decided to ask every guy who walked by if he had met Lindsay. If you haven't seen How I Met Your Mother, you won't get what was going on.

After having some gastrointestinal difficulties on Sunday morning (a burrito looks surprisingly similar coming back up as it does on its way down), I was really hungry by the time we were going home. The bus hit a rest stop somewhere in New Jersey, and our choices were Roy Rogers, Pizza Hut or Blimpie (which I am pretty sure was the cause of the vomiting from earlier in the day). I'm aware that Blimpie doesn't serve burritos, but I think the sandwich from Blimpie caused my stomach to reject the burrito I had for dinner. Regardless, I ended up choosing a bacon cheeseburger from Roy Rogers and then loading it up with tomatoes.

Boy was that a mediocre burger. Even with my incredibly low expectations, I was still disappointed. I have no idea where we were, but I hope we weren't in New Brunswick because that would mean I missed out on New Jersey's best burger.

On the plus side, the Sox won both games we attended, so we had that going for us. Which is nice.

-Jon

Just Pretend This Went Up Sunday

Oops, I forgot. The second run of cookouts at Jen & Melissa's was on Sunday in preparation for the actual birthday party coming up. There were a lot of similarities between this cookout and the last one. Most of the same people, lots of Summer Ale, nice weather, etc. There was one major difference, which was that this time we didn't put any of the bottles in the pool after we finished. I did try to throw them all on the lawn though (with help from Bill, Joe and James), because that is just fun.

We had burgers again, even though Melissa tried to ruin them by not letting Nicky put bleu cheese inside them because she claimed that some people might not like bleu cheese. Now this in and of itself is pretty much unacceptable, but I think it would be possible to maybe put the cheese inside some of the burgers and not others. Apparently her one-third* sized woman brain could not come up with this on her own. Unfortunately, the burgers were already formed by the time I had arrived and I could not correct this grievous error.

The burgers were probably good, but it's been several days since I ate it and I can't remember for sure. It's also possible that I ate 2 of them, but who can say. I am fairly certain that there was not bacon, but even that remains a mystery. I guess from now on I should take care of these things in a more timely fashion.

-Jon

*This is from Anchorman before all you women-folk fly off the handle.