A Nice Friday Lunch

Northampton really needs more parking. That garage is just not getting the job done.

Matt, Bill and I went out for lunch at the Northampton Brewery, and got a sweet table out in the beer garden after some old guy told us we shouldn't bother waiting and should go inside instead. Hey, old guy, I'm pretty sure you are not a brewery employee, so mind your business. Also, we ignored him because we could very clearly see a table for 4 people that was unoccupied. Maybe that old guy and his stupid party of 6 needs to go inside, but for awesome people like us, that table will do nicely.

We ordered some tasty beverages, and got down to the difficult task of narrowing down the many choices to a single meal. We also decided that we needed an appetizer of soft pretzels, by which I mean I decided this due to the intense deliciousness of their cheesy beer sauce. You can see the tattered remains of this sauce in the little blue bowl in the picture below. By the end of my fries, that bowl was pretty much clean enough to return to the shelf.

I decided on the Green Mountain Burger, which I ignored during my first pass of the menu because, for no reason at all, I had come to the (incorrect) conclusion that said burger was a veggie burger. This was not the case, as it not only was a beef burger, it also came with delicious bacon. Also, some Vermont cheddar cheese and mushrooms, but most importantly bacon. Check this behemoth out.

To make it even more delicious, Matt donated his tomato to my meal, as he is a weirdo like Melissa and doesn't like tomato. It's truly baffling.

This burger was great! I ordered it medium rare, and it actually arrived as such. You might not think that this is a big deal, but if you've been reading this blog since the beginning then you'll know how little patience I have for overdone burgers. I want them pink and juicy, dammit! And this one was definitely that. I also made myself some of my (patent not pending) Tabasco ketchup for the fries that didn't make it into the cheddar sauce. All in all, a very nice meal.

-Jon

I'll Pick My Own Toppings, Thanks

I don't mind when restaurants come up with their own ideas for toppings on their burgers, as long as they have a good variety (R.F. O'Sullivan has like 30+ burgers, which is a good amount). However, I am a big fan of restaurants that just have a buttload of toppings that I can mix and match to make my own diabolical creations. Sometimes you just want a bunch of random crap that most other people probably don't combine.

Amherst Brewing Company falls into the second category, and they have a whole lot of toppings to choose from. I was just in the mood for something spicy today, but next time I'm going to make some kind of elaborate monster burger. It shall be the stuff of legends, and many an epic ballad shall be composed in its memory, to be studied by generations to come in place of former material like Shakespeare and that junk. Or probably I'll just eat it, enjoy it thoroughly, write about it here, and that will be that.

For today, I went with tomato, onion, jalapeños and blue cheese. I figured that the spiciness of the jalapeños would work nicely with the... cheesiness of the blue cheese, sort of like hot wings. And tomato and onion are just classic burger staples. The whole thing looked sort of like an Italian flag, in a very abstract way.

Ok, so it really didn't look like a flag, but it did have red, white and green. That's Italy, right? Or Mexico maybe would be more appropriate, since it had jalapeños. I don't know, I'm not a geographer.

This was a delicious burger! Kate says that all I write is that all the burgers are delicious, but that's not true. I only write that about the delicious ones. What should I do, write that they aren't that good even though they are? She is a negative-nelly!

I also got to drink a delicious beer that I've been looking for the last few weeks, which is always a good thing.

-Jon

Happy Birthday to Kate

It's not really her birthday yet, but she still got to enjoy a free lunch at Taylor's Tavern since it's close enough and she got her birthday present from them early. And I got to enjoy a free lunch because Chuck took us out to lunch after we let him toss some old paint cans in our dumpster in order to declutter his garage/yard. It's win-win.

I really wanted a burger that had the sauce they use for hot wings on it, but there wasn't anything like that on the menu and I didn't want to be one of those annoying customers who makes the kitchen do a bunch of extra work. That seems like the kind of thing that would get you a meal with extra spit on it. Instead I went with the Santa Fe burger, which combined the greenness of avocado with the redness of salsa.

This picture sucks. I hate my phone's camera. You can barely even see the sweet greenness of the avocado! There's also a bunch of onion straws on top of it (which were delightful) and cheddar cheese, which keeps the whole thing together. Sort of. I had a lot of trouble keeping everything on the bun since this thing was overloaded with toppings. And that's a good thing.

Also, that's a ridiculous amount of fries. That's like 2 potatoes right there!

I liked this burger a lot. There wasn't a whole lot of salsa, but I think that's better than if it had been too salsa-y since I wouldn't have been able to taste much of the avocado. Also, onion straws are a great addition to a burger. I might have to look into how to make them, and throw them into random dishes. I think they would be delightful on the slow-cooker BBQ brisket I make.

-Jon

Promise Kept

Well, kept so far. But that's a good start.

Kate and I took a mini road trip down to West Hartford for lunch with her friends Nathan and Erin at Plan B, which I am guessing is a restaurant that feels a bit upset at the current connotations associated with that particular phrase. After a short wait (which wasn't nearly enough time to peruse their monstrous beer list), we got a giant booth and got down to the business of burgers and beers.

And our appetizer of Blue Chips, which was like a nacho platter using potato chips instead of tortilla chips and topped with blue cheese, bacon, tomatoes and jalapeños. It was delicious, and a nice complement to my first beer of the meal.

There were a whole bunch of good looking burgers on the menu, and I finally settled on the Chili burger, which comes with chili, obviously, along with monterey jack cheese and jalapeños. The default option for a side is their "Fancy Fries," but there are a whole bunch of other options if that doesn't do it for you. Nathan and Erin recommend the truffle fries or the parmesan fries, and I bet Kate will go for the sweet potato fries next time.

The picture isn't great, but it was super dim in our booth and this was the best I could do. Deal with it.

The burger itself was amazing! I know they have the fresh meat and all that organic crap going on, but they must be doing some kind of delicious seasoning thing to the burgers as well, because it came out nicely. The chili was good, but it actually took away from the burger since the burger was so good. The cheese and jalapeños were also a good choice for toppings. I grabbed an oatmeal stout to go with the meal, and that was also a good pick. But you'll have to wait a day to read about that one because I only do one beer post a day.

Overall, that was a great meal. That place needs to open another restaurant further north.

-Jon

Fool Me Once, Shame On You...

Fool me twice, I shall blog about it!

After getting up at 4am, driving down to Ludlow to transport the pugs to Uncle Bill's for the weekend, riding down to the airport and flying to Chicago, I was ready for lunch at like 10am. There are a whole lot of restaurant options at O'Hare, but we settled on Chili's due to its proximity to the gate for our next flight. And I wanted a burger!

If only I had read the fine tales spun by the author of Mmmm, burgers, I could have avoided a disappointing breakfast burger. As it turns out, this was not the first time I've had a burger at a Chili's in an airport.

It's pretty sad that not even I read my own posts. No wonder I don't get more traffic.

So not only was there the warning sign from myself, there was another, more current warning sign when Melissa ordered her burger and the waitress did not ask her how she wanted it cooked. That's a major red flag right there, and if I hadn't been hopped up on Dramamine, I probably would have had a backup meal picked. Unfortunately, I panicked and ended up sticking with the Avocado Burger because hey, avocado. It looks kind of like this, except for some reason all the toppings had fallen off. That's bush league.

Yeah, this is the first Mmmm, burgers photo from my iPhone, so if it looks particularly rectangular, that's why.

This burger was very meh. It was definitely cooked way past where I like it, and all the flavor from the meat seemed to have cooked away. The avocado was good, but not good enough to save the whole thing.

Fries were good though.

If we are ever at an airport again, don't let me get a burger at Chili's!!!

Seriously. That's what friends are for.

-Jon

Rye Bread?

I'm not sure what you're trying to pull here, Northampton Brewery, but I'll play your game. Burgers are usually supposed to go on buns, but if you want to to mix things up, I'll let it slide. However, if it's not working, I'll be calling you out on it. And then all 3 people who read this will know. Your move.

Dianna and Kate were going to the bulb show in Northampton and were also getting lunch first. Now, being a licensed hetero, I had pretty much zero interest in the bulb show. But I'm always down for an opportunity to go eat a cheeseburger! Especially at a brew pub, which will presumably offer me a chance at a new beer. And it did!!

We went to the Northampton Brewery, which is not on the main road and often gets overlooked by silly people like me. I believe that the last time I was there I got the Blackened Blue Burger, so this time I forced myself to mix things up with the Patty Melt. It's got Swiss cheese, onions and mushrooms, so in theory it must be delicious. It's also got Reuben dressing, but that kind of stuff is not for me. Oh, and it comes on marble rye bread.

Just in case you can't tell from the first picture, they did a magnificent job of cooking it correctly. Check out that pink center!

That's what a burger should look like. None of that well done crap.

Overall, it was pretty good, although the burger itself needed a little more flavor. Without the cheese and onions and mushrooms, it just tasted like boring old ground beef. Toss some pepper or salt on there before it hits the grill! The important thing is, the rye bread was a successful bread choice. Well played, Brewery. Also, their fries are delicious! In the sad news department, it turns out that just because the menu says "Irish Fare All Day," it doesn't mean that you can get the lamb stew all day. That really ruins your lunch plans if you're Kate.

But then we got ice cream, and everything was great.

-Jon

Hopefully This Won't Jinx Things

After 2010 ended with a whimper, it looks like 2011 might be off to a stronger start. Only time (and my ability to drag the people I'm eating with to burger places) will tell if it can continue.

To conclude birthday week, we went out to Judie's to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Matt and Bill's invasion of the world. And even though I had just had a cheeseburger for dinner last night, I still felt the urge to order another one. I decided on the gorgonzola and mushroom burger, which came with 2 kinds of mushrooms (I believe shiitake and portobello) and was an absolute monster. Check it out!

Holy moly! It doesn't look like it's a massive burger, but it felt like I was easily eating twice as much. It was very meaty, and the gorgonzola was piled on. It was delicious, although I probably could have gotten away with only eating half of it and been more than satisfied. Oh well, maybe now that birthday week is over, I'll stop gorging myself like a pug. It will be tough if I keep getting burgers of this quality, and such tasty fries.

Matt ordered the four-cheese garlic bread, which as awesome, and I also tried a new beer, which I'm sure you'd like to hear all about. So you can go read that if you haven't already. All around, a delightful meal.

-Jon

It's Like a Time Warp

But not like that really weird song from whatever movie it was in that some group of seniors did a wacky dance to in one of the Senior Shows, possibly '06. Yeah, that was a strange opening to this post.

Kathryn and I went back to the Gill Tavern, much as I stated I would do given the opportunity. Unfortunately, we were unable to get a table this time. However, we were able to sit at the bar, which means we didn't drive the whole 15 minutes to get there for nothing. Sitting at the bar has the added advantage of letting us talk to the cook/chef, which possibly got us our food faster. I am not sure if there is a difference between a cook and a chef, but I bet there is and I bet it's related to those awesome hats the Swedish Chef wears.

I obviously went with the burger again, but this time I got bacon on it in addition to my cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. I also got more Pied pIPA, even though my glass clearly says "Farmer Brown" on it. See? I made a point of turning the pint glass so that you could see the false advertising.

This time I made sure to let the meat juice soak into the bun before I started eating it, and it made all the difference. The burger was cooked nicely again, although Kathryn noticed that it wasn't perfectly pink like last time. It was still pretty pink, and it was nice and juicy, which is all that really matters. That's the real reason I don't like well-done burgers: they are just way too dry. Well, that and they taste like charcoal mixed with feet.

There was no apple crisp this time, so we passed on dessert and then went home so I could drink my nice bottle of Lefty's Irish-Style Stout while listening to the calming snores of two sleepy pugs. What a life.

-Jon

I Am a Pig

After last night's rehearsal dinner, where I may have spent a good deal of my time drinking too much white wine, we went back to the hotel for a nice little gathering. Well, not so much little as "too big for hotel security's liking." It was also a roaming party whose location moved across a few different rooms. So the end result was that maybe I had a couple extra cocktails over the amount I should have had.

And the end result of that is that I was not really in the mood for breakfast during the 7-10am window that the hotel had its complimentary continental breakfast. But I was in the mood for breakfast at noon. Unfortunately, I did not have a car and I did not have any idea where to go. Cue Melissa! Melissa had both a car and a phone that let me shake it until it told me places to eat in the immediate area. And then somehow I messed that up by picking a place and then forgetting what I had picked, which meant that even though it was my choice, breakfast was a surprise to me.

We went to a place called Raff's, and I got the grilled meatloaf special. Yup, apparently meatloaf is an appropriate breakfast food. Hey, it worked for me.

Now, I told you that story so I could tell you this one, since that first part isn't burger related at all. You would think that a big meatloaf breakfast would be enough until the wedding, but nope. About 2 hours later, it was time for lunch. This time, I was ready for a burger. Kathryn didn't care where we went as long as she didn't have to drive, so I decided to go to a restaurant we had passed that morning called Archie's Place.

Sadly, my phone was being disagreeable and had not maintained its charge, so I couldn't take a picture of the giant burger that I ordered. I got the Chili Cheeseburger, which obviously had chili and shredded cheese on top of the huge burger. There was also lettuce, tomato and onion, presumably because there needed to be some kind of vegetable to go along with the absurd amount of meat.

The burger was good, but not great. I am not sure how it happened, but the inside of the burger was cooked perfectly medium rare, and the outside was burnt a little. That's just weird. Other than that, the rest of the meal was good. This place also gave me a giant pile of fries, and they were pretty good. Just far too numerous. On the downside, our waitress kind of sucked. Chances are that if you don't really like people, a customer service-related job is probably not the one for you.

Now it's time to get ready for the actual wedding, where I will presumably eat another giant meal. Congratulations, Steve and Maura!

-Jon

Better Luck This Time

After our last attempt to visit the Gill Tavern failed miserably and resulted in my cheese-less cheeseburger, Kathryn and I decided to give it another go. This time was much more successful, and resulted not only in a tasty burger, but also a delicious new beer. It's win-win!

The Gill Tavern is super tiny, so it's probably a good idea to call ahead or go on a non-popular dinner night like Wednesday. That way you might actually get a table. Kathryn told me that it used to be a general store long ago, so it looks like a little house. Except that it's a house with a giant kitchen and a bar. So it's like a Portuguese house.

I decided to get the Grilled Local Beef Burger, with cheddar cheese. Luckily, it actually came with cheese, so I won't have to flip out. See? Clearly there is cheese here.

There's also lettuce, tomato and onion. And some kind of weird roll. The roll wasn't great, but the rest of the burger was delicious. Actually, the roll almost ruined things for me until the juice from the burger soaked into it. Then it became pretty good. The burger was also cooked nicely, with a lovely pink color. There were also delicious fries, although they called them potato wedges. And they claimed they were roasted, so I guess they weren't technically fries. It doesn't matter; the point is, the burger and "potato wedges" were both great.

Then we had apple crisp for dessert. It was also pretty good. Overall, the Gill Tavern is a place I would visit again. If I can get a table.

-Jon

Another One Bites the Dust?

As we are rapidly approaching Steve and Maura's wedding, the time had come for that ever-present male ritual of the bachelor party. For this one, the plan was to go down to Foxwoods (which actually ended up changing to going down to Mohegan Sun, which is ok because they are really close to each other). And once we got down there, it was very clearly time for dinner, because by the time we got to Mohegan Sun, my entire day's food consumption was 1 plum and 4 beers. You can tell this is the beginning of an epic night.

But you don't get to read about it, because if you aren't part of the bachelor party, then the events of the bachelor party technically never happened. Or if you're Steve's cousin, Jimmy, who may have blacked out in which case he really doesn't know what happened.

We had dinner at Margaritaville because that's where Steve wanted to go, and he was in charge of the decision making. Remembering my last trip to a Margaritaville (which was in Las Vegas), I knew NOT to get the Cheeseburger in Paradise because I would only be disappointed. Instead, I decided on the Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger. Actually, a lot of us decided on that one. It was easily the most popular meal choice.

And it was delightful! That was some good BBQ sauce, and there was quite a bit of bacon. And, probably most importantly, it was actually medium rare. Perfectly cooked, I would say. And they also have good fries.

After dinner, I lost some money playing various games, and then sat in the racebook yelling at horses and drinking for free. I would say that it was a good night.

-Jon

Home Cooking Is the Solution

The solution to what? To not having the cheese left off your burger. Because that is truly an almost unforgivable offense. Sort of like being a Jets fan.

It was burger night over at Mom and Chuck's, and they were burgers hand-made out of ground beef. That's generally going to give you the best burger, although I think they need to be seasoned a little more before they hit the grill. I put a little bit of garlic salt on them, but it wasn't quite enough. I'll be tweaking my seasoning attempts whenever people aren't paying attention over there, which is frequently.

The burgers came out nicely, with a lovely pink hue. And, far more importantly, mine had cheese on it! And also onions and tomatoes. But the main focus is the cheese. This blog could have been more appropriately titled Mmmm, cheeseburgers, but that was too long. We also had tater tots like it was middle school, fries, salad and zucchini. One of those things definitely does not fit in with the rest of the meal.

For the humourous part of this story, Odin had to spend the meal outside on the deck being sad because he doesn't know how to behave himself around Patches. He's like Jojo the Indian circus boy with a pretty new pet. And Chloe spent part of it sitting on the single step up into the kitchen, and crying because apparently it was too high for her to climb down. Pugs: nature's joke.

-Jon

Seriously?

Since we couldn't go to the restaurant we planned on going to for dinner because apparently having 7 tables isn't enough on a Friday night, Kathryn and I went to Hope and Olive instead, already knowing that they have good food. And also knowing that they have a good selection of beers on tap, which meant that I could try something new. There was plenty of time to savor a new beer too, because this place was also packed. However, they have a more normal number of tables, so the wait was only 30 minutes instead of an hour and 45 minutes.

I had intended on eating something different, but eventually I ended up going with the burger because it's been a while since I've had one. Tonight I chose cheddar cheese, tomato, onion and avocado as my toppings. That doesn't seem like an especially complicated burger, so at no point in time did I expect them to screw it up.

Boy, was I wrong.

They forgot the cheese. They. Forgot. The. Cheese! That's literally the most important part of a cheeseburger!! I've eaten burgers that were burger, cheese, bun and that's it, and they've been enjoyable. The cheese is key. Do you see any cheese here?

No. No cheese. Also, and this is a distant second in things to complain about, the burger was cooked right but somehow still really dry. I am not sure how a burger can be medium rare and also be dry, but they pulled it off. That's not nearly as disappointing as the missing cheese thing though.

On the plus side, the fries at this place are fantastic, and you get approximately 14 lbs of them. Avocado is also a delicious addition to a burger. I thought I had said that before, but it wasn't a tag yet so I can't go back and figure out whether or not it's the case. Well, it's not so much "can't" as "won't," but I'm not going to split hairs here. Oh, and they have good pickles. Sadly, they only give you 3 little slices instead of the number I want, which is like 25.

I won't write Hope and Olive off completely, since I have had a fantastic burger there before. I am going to put them on notice though. Another incident like tonight, and they are off the dinner rotation. That's a pretty serious threat coming from a guy without a full-time job, let me tell you.

-Jon

The Tom Petty Concert

After months of anticipation, it was finally time for the Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers concert (featuring Crosby, Stills and Nash as the opening act)!! It was down at whatever they are calling the Meadows these days, which may be something along the lines of Comcast Theater. The concert itself was great, but it definitely reminded me why I stopped going to concerts at this particular venue. This may be true of all outdoor music theaters, but I find the douchebag percentages to be especially high here. Also, I plan on taking my shirt off next time I am at a concert, since apparently that is an appropriate thing to do.

Before the concert, we stopped to pick up Diana and other Jon since it would have been kind of silly to take two cars. Then we decided to get dinner at Chicago Sam's because food is an important part of my daily diet. And also because the concert wasn't for another 3 hours, and we would have been really early otherwise.

There wasn't much of a decision to be made here. The Black & Bleu burger seemed far more awesome than anything else on the menu. I have also determined the secret to the Blackjack Burger's deliciousness. The Blackjack sauce is good stuff, but it's the cajun blackened spices that they put on the burger that really makes it awesome. This burger was also blackened, and was also awesome. It was also cooked perfectly, which I appreciated. Finally, they have some kind of special fries here, so that's also cool. Well done in the burger department!

Not so well done in the wing department. We got some wings for an appetizer, and got half medium and half hot. Alright, I know this isn't Mmmm, Wings, but if you are calling your wings hot, then they had better make my tongue feel a little scorched afterwards. I could have eaten approximately infinity of these without a problem. Don't tell me you have hot wings and then bring me these disasters. And they were dry. Who likes dry wings? Come on Sam, step it up.

Then it was off to the concert. CSN went on right on time, and they played a bunch of stuff (including 3 of Kathryn's favorite songs, played in a row!) for about an hour. Also, David Crosby looks like a cartoon character, but I can't remember which one. Let's just go with Mr Magoo, except that Crosby's not bald.

After they finished, about 47 roadies came out to reset the stage for Tom & Co. This took forever. Like 45 minutes at least. You would have thought they might have practiced this sort of thing. Oh well, eventually it was time to rock. The band was awesome! But wow, white people should probably not dance anymore. I have permanent emotional scars now.

Also, buying a concert ticket does not actually make you part of the band, so maybe you shouldn't stand in front of Kathryn while playing air guitar for the first several songs. She's a nurse, so she could probably figure out a sneaky way to poison you or something. Just saying.

-Jon

Wedding Weekend

Since Matt and Tanya's wedding was this weekend, several people headed down to Rhode Island to celebrate with them. I went down with Steve and Maura the day before so that we could participate in the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. We were there a while before either, so we went over to Chili's (which was one of about 40 restaurant options within 5 miles of our hotel) and had some lunch. And beers!

After a lengthy deliberation, I finally settled on the Shiner Bock BBQ Burger. I have pretty much no idea what Shiner Bock is , but my guess is that it's some kind of BBQ sauce made out of Shiner Bock, which I am assuming is a beer. Either way, it was good stuff. There was also cheddar cheese and onion straws along with the standard lettuce, tomato and onion. There were also pickles, but I took them off and ate them separately. No pickles on my burgers!!

That was a good burger. Maybe it's because there weren't many people there, but I actually got it cooked the way I ordered it! That is a fantastic thing these days. They also have pretty good fries at Chili's. It's weird going there and not ordering a fajita though.

After that, we went back, adventured out to the church for rehearsal, and then went to a semi-fancy restaurant for dinner. As fancy as the place was, they are poor counters. Matt had told them between 35-40 people, so they set up seating for 30. Last I knew, 30 was actually a smaller number than either end of Matt's range. Eventually they got their act together and fed me a tasty steak, also cooked medium rare. Two properly cooked meats in one day? Stupendous!!

-Jon

Puppy Pool Acquired!

Wait. You don't know about the extensive search for a puppy pool? You are slacking. These blogs are required reading for anyone who has any sort of interaction with me. Well, the story has a happy ending in that I got one at Christmas Tree Shops (which was suspiciously lacking in actual trees). Odin will be rocking out in style next time he comes to pug camp.

The trip to Christmas Tree Shops was preceded by a trip to Northampton for lunch with Kathryn at the Northampton Brewery. I was seriously considering ordering a non-burger meal, but then I thought that would be irresponsible, so I ended up going with the Blackened Blue Burger, mostly because its name was alliterative. If something has a funny name or an alliterative name, I am almost helpless to resist it. This is why I was so upset when Whistling Pig was actually not available, contrary to previously posted information. You can't tell me about something with such an awesome name and then make it unavailable. Man, that's just mean.

The Blackened Blue Burger was a giant monster with cajun spices, blue cheese and caramelized onions along with the standard lettuce, tomato and onion. It also came with a delightful pickle and some good French fries, made even better by the Tabasco ketchup I used. Actually, I used way too much Tabasco, so the fries were incredibly hot. The burger itself was really good, and actually cooked medium rare. I know, I was shocked too. The blue cheese was great, but I wish there had been a little more. Some of mine escaped due to faulty burger holding, but there still wasn't enough. More cheese is always a good thing.

Kathryn had ordered a couple of pretzels with some kind of beer cheese sauce for dipping. The pretzels were the saltiest things I ever ate, but if you scraped off some of the extra salt and dipped them in the sauce, they were fantastic. I don't know which kind of cheese it was, but it tasted kind of like a cheddar. You should go there and get the recipe so that I can make it at home. It will be delicious! I'll even invite you over when I'm making it.

I also tried 2 of their beers. You can't go to a brewery/restaurant and not try what they've got going on tap. Unless you're Dave, in which case you'd probably still order a Bud Light. I had a Weizenheimer, which was a wheat beer that tasted a little summery, and a Northampton Pale Ale, which tasted like a pale ale. The Weizenheimer was great, and the NPA was ok. Pale ales are always a mystery going in, and this one was right in the middle for deliciousness.

Now I've got a big afternoon ahead of me of making ribs. This could end up messy.

-Jon

Get Right Back on the Horse

You'd think that getting sick would stop me from grabbing another burger for lunch immediately the next day. You'd be wrong. I think this falls into the category of "if at first you don't succeed, try again." I needed to have a good burger this weekend to undo the mental effects of that Red Robin debacle.

We were going to Boston for Matt's bachelor party, so I took the responsibility for picking a place since no one else knew too many places in the city. We were staying right by the Garden, so I figured people would enjoy The Fours, the place that Kathryn and I went to on Easter. It's got good food and lots of different beers, so you can't really go wrong. I decided to get a little silly, so I got a Guinness and made my own burger. Not literally, because it would be weird if they just let random people into the kitchen, but in the sense that I picked my own toppings instead of getting a predetermined meal. I went with bacon, American cheese and avocado in addition to the standard lettuce and tomato. They had a lot more options, including chili (which I almost did just for the experience), but I decided not to overdo it. After all, we were going to be doing a lot of beer drinking in the coming hours, so I needed the stomach space.

That burger was delightful! It was cooked right, the avocado went nicely with the bacon, and there wasn't too much lettuce. The fries were also good, and we got the buffalo chicken nachos which were awesome again. All around it was a good time.

After that, things started to get silly.

We went from The Fours to Boston Beer Works right down the street to kick off our pub crawl. That's a nice little place. I tried something called "Tell-Tale Lager," which was good. I'd drink it again. They had the Uruguay-Germany match on TV, so people were getting all into that. We decided to participate as well, and just yelled really loudly every time anyone else yelled. It was a good time.

Next up was this tiny place called the Corner Cafe in the Italian district. It was about the size of my kitchen. Steve struggled with the claw machine (which ended up eating his coins without offering him a chance at a crappy prize), we lost on all our scratch tickets, and then we played Keno for a while. Not the real Keno, but the fake one that Dave played in college. It's a lot more fun, and involves a lot more yelling at the Keno TV. It turns out that yesterday was Steve G's lucky day, because his number 6 came up in probably 10 games in a row. We used that to our advantage to win $100 playing actual Keno, and walked out of there with beer money.

On the way back, we grabbed a 24-pack for the hotel room, which would quickly become a 23-pack due to gravity. Steve decided he was lazy, so he carried the beers for a little and then dumped them off on Dave. He did not warn Dave that the handle on the box was not exactly intact. Shortly after that, the handle ripped off completely and the beers went everywhere on the sidewalk. Sadly, one of them exploded on impact, leaving us with one less beer and one more story.

We ran mostly through that box o' beer and got pretty for the night out. After walking the wrong way to Park St (since me saying several times "we need to be on the other side of this building and you guys are going the wrong way" wasn't enough to get them to turn around), we ended up deciding to hit Faneuil Hall for a meal at Dick's Last Resort. That was an experience. Steve had been there before, and possible a few of the other guys, but it was new to me. The main thing there is that the employees treat all the customers like crap, and also make embarrassing hats for them. They also serve 40 oz Bud Lights, so that's a win. My ribs were cooked to rib perfection (the first bone came out clean with almost no effort, which is what is supposed to happen), and the buffalo wings were spicy enough without being weird tasting. I'd go back.

We finished off the night at Ned Devine's, which may be the longest bar/club I've ever seen. You could just keep walking and walking. It was also incredibly crowded, which made it a good thing that we had been drinking all day. I can't handle those kind of places without being properly lubricated.

All in all, it was a good night. And it probably was an indicator of future wackiness that will happen at the wedding.

-Jon

This Story Will Be Gross

Don't complain later, as I have pre-warned you here.

Originally we were supposed to go out to dinner for Mom's birthday to a nice place, but then they decided they were going to be on vacation and ruin the whole plan. Undeterred, Chuck suggested that we go out to Red Robin instead, because who really wants to cook when it's 90+ outside. You know me: if a burger is possible, I am obligated to go for it. This will turn out to be a mistake.

I went with the Five-Alarm Burger. Pepperjack cheese, peppers, jalapeños, etc. It was supposed to be very spicy. It was not. I would give it two alarms max. I also feel like I have written this before, but I couldn't find it quickly and didn't feel like putting the effort in to really look. I guess some of that Mmmm, Opinions laziness in research has made it over to this site. It really was inevitable. The burger itself was pretty good, and they cooked it right, so I can't really complain. Red Robin also does a good job on their fries, which is a major plus. I tried them with a little of the Red Robin seasoning in the ketchup, and it was a nice change of pace. That seasoning claims to have 20 different flavors in it. Some of them have got to be repeats.

After dinner, I went down to Home Goods with Mom and Chuck and picked up some mixing bowls that I desperately needed along with a few extra pillows for Kathryn the Pillow Queen. Then we went home, drank a couple beers and played cards. So far everything is great.

Fast forward to tomorrow morning. It couldn't have been the meat, because I don't think this happened to everyone, but something on my burger was past its freshness date. The Five-Alarm Burger looks a lot better going in than it does coming back out in a semi-digested state. You can still taste the jalapeños though! This is one of those times that I am really glad we have a garbage disposal. I am also really glad that I remembered that the disposal is in the right-hand sink. That could have been a disaster.

I may have just lost a couple readers.

-Jon

I Might Be Forgetting Something. . .

I think that there was something major that happened today. . . it seems to have slipped my mind though.

I did, however, eat a cheeseburger for dinner! Kathryn and I went out to a place called Jake's up in Turners Falls for a couple of beers and a little food. I got a Summer Ale because we were eating outside and I couldn't see the taps, so I had to order on instinct. Apparently at this place, a "Big Beer" is just a normal pint, which was only slightly disappointing. I ordered the "Cowboy-up Burger," potentially named after the Red Sox Cowboy Up slogan in days of yore. It was a burger with cheddar cheese, grilled onions, bacon and some BBQ sauce.

It was also clearly one of those pre-made frozen patties that you get by the 40-pack when you are going to have a cookout. No handformed burger has a perfectly cylindrical shape no matter how talented you are. That being said, there is also only one way to cook this type of burger, which is well done. Otherwise it's still pretty much frozen. This ended up meaning that when the waitress asked me how I wanted the burger cooked, she was just wasting my time and hers. Silly woman.

Also, if I order a second Summer Ale, I do not mean that I want a Steel Rail. That was Kathryn's beer. Get with the program!

The actual burger itself was terrible, but the overall burger was pretty good. You can chalk that up to the bacon and BBQ sauce. They were both well above average. I think it might have something to do with the fact that there were at least 3 slices of bacon, which is more than you usually get at a restaurant. Good work, Jake.

Now, what else happened yesterday of note? Huh, how strange that I don't recall.

-Jon

A Return to Form

Wow! Two posts in one day!! Looks like I am officially back!

Since James and Nicole closed on their house and officially moved out, I have been quite busy with what basically amounts to re-moving in to the exact same place I have been living for the past year. It turns out that most of the important things for day-to-day life were not mine, just as they were not mine when I lived at Munsing. But no more!

I am now the proud (?) owner of such exciting things as a TV stand, plates, bowls, silverware, a knife set and a whole host of other kitchen items (see the post 2 below this one for the details of my unmanly excursions). And all of these things need to be washed first before you can use them, which is a lot of work in itself even if you don't include the gargantuan task of trying to eliminate all the husky hair that took over the house.

Enter Kathryn, Queen of the Vacuum.

While I did all the boring stuff that needed to happen, Kathryn let loose the fury of her crazy, animal-hair seeking, pug-scaring super vacuum on the many carpets of the house. All told, she filled and emptied that thing 5 times of dog hair before she was satisfied with her work. I think she also cleaned the bathroom, not to mention the delivery of all sorts of unmanly things like candles and fancy hand soaps. I suppose this place will need a woman's influence once my brothers move in.

After all that cleaning, we decided to grab dinner at Ruby Tuesday and then look at rugs at Ocean State Job Lot. Actually I decided on the dinner part, and Kathryn was the only one who looked at rugs because I hate Ocean State Job Lot with a passion due to the many "quick" trips I've been subjected to at the hands of my mother, but I went there with Kathryn anyways because obviously I owe her one.

The funny part of dinner is that since there was a short wait, I put us on the list and then loudly said to Kathryn, "Do you want to wait outside since it's nice?" to avoid them thinking we were leaving. Except that they still thought we were leaving, and then skipped over my name on the list. Stupid ball lickers. We did quickly get a seat after they realized the error of their ways, but it was not enough to avoid mention in this tale.

I ordered the Brewmaster Burger, which tasted like something I had eaten before. I really have to go back through all these stories and update the tags at some point so I can actually look this kind of stuff up. Maybe after 100 posts. Familiar or not, it was still very tasty, especially when combined with my new side of French fries with Tabasco ketchup. I would tell you the recipe for Tabasco ketchup, but it's a closely guarded family secret. (Hint: the name of the recipe is the whole recipe!) If you like spicy and you like ketchup, I would give it a try. Take a look. The picture sucks because of the weird-ass plates that they have at Ruby Tuesday, but as a bonus you get to see Kathryn's Avocado Turkey "burger."

More important than the ketchup though, is the fact that they actually cooked my burger medium rare! It was perfectly done. And just in time, because I was starting to lose hope for a decently cooked burger in a western Mass restaurant. Thanks for bringing back my faith, Ruby Tuesday!

-Jon