Local Burger (and Fries!)

After having a burger on Sunday, you'd think that I would be unlikely to eat another on Monday. You would be wrong. Today was a day to try a new burger place. Upon Mia's recommendation, Kathryn and I went to Local Burger in Northampton for some grass-fed local beef. Mmmm, local cows.

They had a bunch of burgers that you could get, and then they just had a list of things you could throw on a burger. I went with some cow from Easthampton with Applewood smoked bacon (I am beginning to think that these Applewood folks have a monopoly on the bacon-for-burgers industry), crumbled blue cheese, tomato and onion. I am unconvinced that there was actually onion on there however, because I couldn't see any and I couldn't taste any. But there was no charge for it, so I don't feel too upset about it. We also got a large order of fries, which I do not recommend since they were by far the saltiest fries I have eaten this year. I think they may even be saltier than the fries at Ruby Tuesday's, which have been known to cause immediate hypertension.

We also got some ice cream at Herrel's, which is probably spelled wrong. But it was pretty good ice cream. And they sell it by weight, which is like the strangest thing I have ever seen. I think I got a 4 oz. ice cream, which was a small? Coffee and brownie!! It was also good, except that the brownies had nuts in them. Unacceptable! Also, this is not an ice cream blog, so time to get on topic.

In the end, it was a pretty good burger. I think next time I will ask for onion a little bit louder. Or just go to Paradise City, which was like 50 yards away. They have more beers there anyways. Although Local Burger has a BYOB policy, which 2 of the other patrons took full advantage of (?) by bringing in 40s of High Life. I am not quite sure if I would rather have that or the root beer I ended up choosing. Life's tough decisions. . . .

-Jon

Independence Day (Plus 1)

So maybe our timing was a little off, but after all the family related foolishness of the actual 4th of July, there was a burger- and beer-filled party on the 5th of July. And after having a "real" meal for the 4th, since it's also Mom's birthday, it was nice to have burgers since that just feels more appropriate. Sort of like turkey on Thanksgiving.

After several hours in the pool listening to the Sox game, we had successfully finished the first case of Sam Adams and left the bottles all across Jen's yard. James, Bill and I also found a really fun game where you take the ice cubes out of the cooler and whip them at whoever is currently crossing the yard. Of course, this game is only fun for us, but that's not really relevant. It was then time for some grilled meat.

Even though Nicky was there, Melissa took the reins and made some burgers that were ready in a reasonable amount of time and left the kitchen looking clean. If you don't know, Nicky's cooking is delicious, but the aftermath sort of resembles a hurricane, if a hurricane could be centralized entirely in one kitchen and only attacked pots and pans. The topping du jour was the spicy Montreal seasoning along with pepper jack cheese. This further lends proof to my theory that burgers with a little zip are just better. She also grilled up some red onions, and there were gigantic tomatoes for us normal folk.

I definitely have to get some of that Montreal stuff. I bet it would even make those frozen burgers that come 40 to a pack taste pretty good. Tomorrow I am heading off to try a new burger place on Mia's recommendation. I am not sure what to expect, mostly because she is a vegetarian. Should be interesting.

-Jon

A Close Call

I have now introduced my family to the joys of red onions (which are terribly named, because they always seem to be a purple color). I still haven't quite mastered the timing of how long to put them on the grill, but I think I'll have it next time. I will also need a new set of teeth that actually close together so that I can bite through them, but that is a different story.

After slicing up the onions and throwing a little Italian dressing on them for zest, they went on the grill and the clouds started rolling in. Apparently cutting onions also makes God cry. Or Jesus. Whichever one of Them is in charge of the weather. It was obviously going to be a tight race, and it ended up that just as the burgers were coming off the grill, the sky opened up and drenched everything. Sadly, this meant that the buns did not get toasted.

Also, like a grownup, I tried bacon & ranch pasta salad (which was gross) and baked beans (which were surprisingly ok). I am not sure where the mayo is implied in that pasta salad title, but it was in there. Disgusting.

-Jon

Cookout Day

James', Nicole's and my first cookout at the new house came and went in a fairly successful fashion. Of course, I am defining success as: nothing caught on fire, no one was hospitalized and the police did not show up (other than the officers who were invited). In addition, many beverages were consumed and there was no damage to the house. After being involved in so many house-damaging and police-arriving incidents in college, it was a nice change of pace.

The clear highlight of the entire party was Mom's taco dip, which lasted approximately 19 minutes. After that, James took care of grilling duties, and we had some chicken wings, hot dogs (gross) and cheeseburgers. The wings were good, but the burgers were excellent. I am not sure how I ended up with one (it was on a plate and I decided it was mine; this might not have been the case), but I was pretty pleased with the decision. Next party we'll have to go with more burgers and fewer hot dogs, since we ran out of hot dog buns and people were using our precious burger buns with their nasty hot dogs.

Also, we had several cases of Summer Ale, so there was some nice progress on this year's Summer Ale Challenge. That may have also been responsible for the mysteriously appearing burger. Good times.

Happy Father's Day

Nothing fancy here, just a couple burgers over at Dad & Kelly's for Father's Day. I think they were the usual ones they get from Big Y, kept a little bit rare. Even though Kelly eats charcoal burgers, she still grills good ones for the rest of us. What a nice lady.

There were also tomatoes to put on them, because as everyone knows, burgers are much better when tomato is included. Don't ask Melissa though, because she is silly and thinks that tomatoes are bad. There was lettuce too, but who gets excited about lettuce?

I think that Wednesday night might have to be a burger night to celebrate the end of school for the year and the temporary suspension of my oppressive math regime. Also to celebrate the passing of the 200 mark for this summer's challenge. Now that is something to get excited about.

-Jon

Live From New York

Finally. After several months of reading Jon’s posts, I am officially joining in his quest to find the world’s best burger. Hopefully I can contribute any and all burger-related news with some semblance of regularity, but I’m afraid that Jon may have me beat on that count, considering my 150 sq. ft. New York City apartment with no outdoor space prevents me from grilling anything at all (as much as I wish I could!). But what NYC lacks in space, it certainly makes up for with some of the best burger joints on the East Coast. It’s my mission to hit up as many of these places as I can, as long as my stomach (and waistline) can handle it. Stay tuned…

In Lieu of Work

After something like 172 days of doing work, it was finally time for the 8th grade field trip to High Meadow. This marks the 5th time or so that I've been there, because that was definitely the exact same 8th grade trip that the school took when I was there. Hey, it's Ludlow: if something changes there is going to be a panic attack on an epidemic scale.

The thing about this field trip that is great is that there is pretty much no responsibility on my part other than eating and making sure everyone that is on the bus on the way is also on the bus for the trip home (success!). And obviously I decided to go with a cheeseburger for lunch. Considering that the people cooking were feeding something like 5 schools of kids, I can't be too upset with the burger being way more cooked than it needed to be. You gotta figure there were something like a thousand kids there at once. I think the most burgers I've ever been responsible for at one time is like 8. Besides, there was red onion. Can't really go wrong with red onion.

I bet next year I can just copy and paste this exact same thing and have it still be true. Stay tuned for about 12 months.

-Jon

A New Record

After a wild night with the Funbags, I had to make my way down to CT for Amy and Scott's engagement cookout/yard sport extravaganza. And since my car had to spend the night across town, that meant I got a late start on my trip down after walking across town to pick it up. This actually worked out pretty well, because it meant that the food was already ready by the time I arrived.

I am not exactly sure what the seasoning on the burgers was (because the name of the seasoning was Burger Shakers, a somewhat vague title), but it was great. I think the order of events was something along the line of: open a Magic Hat, eat a burger, finish Hank's game of croquet, eat another burger, sit on a hammock, eat another burger (this one only had a bottom bun for some reason, which caused much amusement for everyone else present), sit around making jokes about college, sit around making jokes about pretty much everyone we went to college with, and eat another burger. Yes, I ate 4 burgers. That is a personal best. And, possibly more impressive, there were no repercussions like meat poisoning. I think that record will probably stand for a while, if not forever.

-Jon

More Spicy Burgers

Well, maybe it wasn't that spicy, but you would think a burger with the name Fire Pit Bacon Burger that had pepper-jack cheese and smoky chipotle spread (and yes I am currently looking at the menu online) would have at least a little zip to it.

I also learned another valuable lesson about women. Apparently if one tells you at 5:30 that you should show up any time after 6, she really means that you should show up immediately at 6 because if you aren't there by 6:13 you will get a unnecessarily angry text message about your current location. Also, as a side note, if you are already "late," (although I can't see how you could be late if the time frame is so vague) she may get upset if you open a beer upon arrival. Even if you drink the beer in 8 minutes. I know, I was shocked as well.

Anyway, I was sort of the odd man out (literally) at dinner, as I am the only one who got a burger, the only one who got a beer, the only one that is a male and the only one who eats burgers properly. Meaning rare. Technically the burger was not really rare, but I ordered it rare so I get points for trying. It seems that Melissa, Kathryn and Diana all are fans of charcoal burgers, by which I mean burgers that taste like charcoal, not charcoal grilled.

The burger was good in spite of its failure to be spicy, and it had red onion on it, which is fast becoming a required topping for me. Stay tuned for my next story in which I don't eat for 19 hours and then end the fasting with a ridiculous lunch.

-Jon

My Best Work Yet

Alright, now we're talking.  I think I'm finally getting the hand of this grilling thing.  Well, getting the hang of it again.  I guess taking the winter off really hurts your abilities.

Today there was no falling apart of burgers, nothing fell through the grating, and everything came out right.  The burger du jour was grass-fed local beef from lovely Shelburne Falls, courtesy of Kathryn.  I decided to get a little crazy and try to do something fancy, and it ended up working out pretty well.  I picked up a red onion at Randall's (since it is clearly the superior onion) and went with the Nicky S. plan of grilling a nice cross section of it.  Then I threw a little crushed red pepper on the meat along with a bit of Tuscan seasoning (which comes highly recommended by Nicole M.).  Finally, in a stroke of genius, I melted the cheese OVER the onion.  Seriously, from now on, all toppings will go under the cheese.  It's fantastic.

After all that preparation, the burgers were finally ready.  I will say this for the Tuscan stuff:  even if it doesn't make the burgers better (even though it does), it makes everything smell great when you open up the grill.  Maybe it's part potpourri?  The burgers came out nice and rare, and as of yet, there is no food poisoning.

Plus, I got to add to the Summer Ale Challenge (also courtesy of Kathryn).  Between beers and burgers, there isn't a whole lot that could ruin this night.

-Jon

Call Me Lance

Ok, that is a little bit on the fruity side, what with the ball thing.  And that guy from N*Sync.  Or the Backstreet Boys, whichever one had the Lance guy.  But I did ride a bicycle today for about 6 miles, so it's sort of appropriate, and definitely referring to Lance Armstrong.  Not that I am on any sort of health kick; it was strictly to get a burger.  And it was a fantastic decision.

We had burgers that were very similar to the stuffed bleu cheese burgers from last time.  Possibly the same burgers, although these ones were spicier.  Also, I am not sure if we had tomatoes with them last time.  But the bleu cheese inside was great again, and the bleu cheese on top (along with grilled onions, which may or may not have fallen on the ground).  Plus, spicy burgers are making a strong case for being superior than the non-spicy kind (for instance, the Blackjack Burger).  And you really can't go wrong with a couple Summer Ales.  But not too many, because it might be a crime to drink and ride a bicycle.  And I don't want any firsthand knowledge if it is.

-Jon

Getting Better

Looks like I am getting the hang of this thing.  Today I was able to grill myself a burger without it falling apart AND keeping it rare.  Although it probably stayed together because it was formed by someone else, but that's not the point.  I went with a combination of Worcestershire sauce and spicy Montreal steak rub to make it slightly more awesome.  This was successful.  I also got to have chips and jalapeno cheddar dip, since I was at Dad and Kelly's house.

In other news, Casey is finally supposed to be contributing here, and that should make the amount of burger related news roughly double.  We'll see how that works out.  I reserve the right to make snarky comments on her posts as well, since I apparently have admin rights.  Hooray abuses of power!

-Jon

A First

In what I believe is a first for me, today I ate a burger which was specifically designed to make it on any future top 10 lists that I may put up here.  I feel kind of special.

Since I was invited to a Memorial Day barbecue that was rumoured to have cheeseburgers, I threw out my original plan of not going to a barbecue and replaced it with a plan of definitely attending a barbecue.  This turned out to be a good decision.

Erica's roommate Kelly was determined to not only make the blog (which is obviously going to happen if there is a burger eaten) but to get her burger noticed.  Well, wish granted.  She not only made some homemade patties from ground beef instead of frozen stuff (hey, that is impressive stuff for a barbecue), there were 3 different choices for burgers!  I ended up going for the bacon & blue cheese burger, which had bacon and blue cheese inside the meat!  There were also tomatoes in there.  Apparently that is a popular thing to do out in Eastern Mass.  Who knew?  Additionally, there was bacon to go on top of the burger along with some pepperjack cheese (which may be my new favorite cheese).  And to make it even more awesome, the cheese was melted over the bacon so it couldn't escape.  There were also tomatoes and onions to go under the burger as well.

Looks like I am going to have to try harder from now on at my own house.

-Jon

The Required Somerville Experience

Ever after all the burgers of the past week, I still had to make a command decision to visit R.F. O'Sullivan before the weekend was over.  I think that my journalistic integrity requires it.  Plus, I was pretty pumped to try the Blackjack burger after the last time I was there.  So after a pretty action packed day which included a surprise trip to the Red Sox and an incredibly expired beer at a place called The Lower Depths (although there were also some good, non-expired beers as well), we headed over to R.F.'s with Alex's friend Lindsey.

Since I was already planning on this burger being super fantastic, I was a little nervous that it wasn't going to live up to those expectations.  Fortunately, that was not the case.  There were some cajun spices on that thing, and the sauce on top was great.  I think it was some kind of creole sauce, but I am pretty sure I don't know what that means.

I do know that this is now the burger against which all future burgers will be judged.  ESPNZone Black & Blue Burger, you have been displaced!

-Jon

As Promised

After a cheeseburger for lunch and some wings for a snack, we headed over to the SWC party to celebrate our workout successes slash bemoan our failures.  Since the penalty for failure is $20, and I am quite cheap, I was in the celebration group.  The money from all the failures goes toward the food and beer for the party, which makes the beer even more delicious.*

Shortly after arriving (we were on beer #2), the party coordinator, Shakes, brought down a bunch of hamburgers and threw them on the grill with a request to me to keep an eye on them.  Then, perhaps because he heard about my difficulties Tuesday, he asked Alex to keep an eye on my keeping an eye.  Then he realized his foolishness and asked 2 other people to watch us and make sure we didn't forget.  Eventually this ridiculous chain-of-command broke down into Alex watching the burgers with me supervising (a fancy word for doing nothing).

The burgers ended up being quite delicious.  There was some kind of seasoning that we could not identify, as well as onions being chopped up inside.  There were also some tomatoes chopped up in there as well!  That was quite a pleasant surprise.

From there the night got a little wacky, and somehow I ended up wearing a toga.  It's not quite as strange as it sounds, since the party was a toga party, but I am not positive of the order of events that resulted in me not wearing pants and instead wearing a bed sheet.  Life is funny sometimes.

-Jon

*Since the beer was some kind of domestic keg beer, the level of deliciousness is debatable.