I'm Very Sorry

I have been very bad at keeping this updated, but luckily I've only had 3 burgers since the last post. Since Chris actually has been keeping the hits rolling in on this site, I feel obligated to make a new attempt at telling my delicious burger stories. Here are the 3 I missed, although some of the details may be lacking.

First up is a delicious burger from the day after the giant snowstorm when most of the power was out. Along with the phones, which was even more annoying. Since Bill had no power, and had no way to contact me, he drove up here optimistically thinking that he might be able to watch football up here. Unfortunately, that was not the case, but we were able to finally find a place that had food available. This was very convenient, since my power had been out since 2am, and that meant that everything perishable in the refrigerator had perished.

Brick Wall Burger was serving a limited menu (burgers, fries, cole slaw), but that was just fine with us. I can't remember exactly what I went with, but it clearly contained pepperjack cheese, tomato and red onion. So I guess I do remember it, just not the sauce I chose. These burgers are no joke.

That's Bill's red sweatshirt in the background. You may be wondering why there is only one burger on the table. Funny story... true story... Bill ordered the same burger as I did, but since all the ordering and receipts were being done by hand, there was a mixup between the girl who took our orders and the guy who cooked the food, resulting in only one burger showing up at first. That was quickly rectified, and we both got to enjoy a delicious meal. Sadly, I forgot to order the right kind of cole slaw, so mine just sat there being gross instead of getting eaten.

A couple of weeks later, Bill was working in Adams or North Adams (who cares, it's Berkshire County), so he came over here when he was done with his cheese shenanigans and requested another trip to BWB. Since Kate and I aren't too picky about where we go, that was just fine with us.

This time I remembered to get the spicy slaw, which has some kind of spicy dressing on it instead of mayonnaise, which is gross. I believe that has been addressed before. I also mixed things up by going with BBQ sauce and bacon along with a changeup in the cheese department (it appears to be American cheese).

I didn't get any fries this time, since Kate was getting fries and she never finishes hers. I'd rather steal fries than let them go to waste. Both of these burgers were quite tasty, although the second one was cooked a little bit more than it needed to be. It also didn't get the benefit of the doubt by being potentially the only thing I was going to be eating that day.

We'll wrap things up by heading around the corner to The People's Pint. I don't mean that in a literal sense though, because it would have been weird to leave one restaurant after a filling meal and sit down for another. This happened about 3 weeks after the last story.

Kate and I went out for a dinner because we had been a bit lax in our grocery shopping and both of us were feeling a little lazy. We both ended up choosing The Squealer for our meal, which is a burger made with ground beef and ground bacon. The picture kind of sucks because the People's Pint is super dark and my phone's camera is from a world where making a camera without a flash is acceptable. Stupid Apple...

I was expecting this burger to be more delicious because of the bacon, but I couldn't really taste the bacony goodness. They also don't put tomato on their burgers, which makes me sad. Get some damn tomatoes!! Who's running this restaurant, Melissa? Ridiculous. Also it was overcooked, which reduced its juiciness. Never dry out a burger. Don't do it. On a completely different note, I tried a new beer during this meal, and I believe you can see the snifter in the top left of the photo.

Hopefully this will mark a return to the days of more timely burger posts. I will have to make a better effort to write the posts closer to the actual burger eating. We'll see what we can for for 2012.

-Jon

Now This Was a Burger

After the atrocity that presented itself as my last burger, there was little doubt that a burger was going to be my meal of choice when we went to Amherst Brewing Company. But there were a whole bunch of choices, so I wasn't sure which one to go with. I finally settled on the Classic Burger, Cajun Style. We also got some huge ass nachos (with chili) and some stuffed mushrooms.

Between Melissa, Bill, Kathryn and myself, we got a bison burger, a normal burger, a turkey burger, and pulled pork. Consume all the animals!! I think that's Melissa's burger in the background below as a matter of fact. I bet mine was better.

The Cajun burger was covered with Cajun spices (I have had Cajun spices on multiple occasions, but I still don't know what they are exactly), and then topped with blue cheese and bacon along with some tomato and onion. It was a fairly formidable looking meal.

It also came with some Brewhouse fries and a little pickle. This burger was fantastic! I would rank it up in the tiers with an R.F. O'Sullivan burger, which it was actually very similar to (the Black & Bleu Burger).

If you are ever in Amherst, you should make a trip over to the new and improved ABC. All our food was delicious, and they have several beers (both their own and "guest" beers) of highly drinkable natures. It's win-win!

-Jon

Fool Me Once, Shame On You...

Fool me twice, I shall blog about it!

After getting up at 4am, driving down to Ludlow to transport the pugs to Uncle Bill's for the weekend, riding down to the airport and flying to Chicago, I was ready for lunch at like 10am. There are a whole lot of restaurant options at O'Hare, but we settled on Chili's due to its proximity to the gate for our next flight. And I wanted a burger!

If only I had read the fine tales spun by the author of Mmmm, burgers, I could have avoided a disappointing breakfast burger. As it turns out, this was not the first time I've had a burger at a Chili's in an airport.

It's pretty sad that not even I read my own posts. No wonder I don't get more traffic.

So not only was there the warning sign from myself, there was another, more current warning sign when Melissa ordered her burger and the waitress did not ask her how she wanted it cooked. That's a major red flag right there, and if I hadn't been hopped up on Dramamine, I probably would have had a backup meal picked. Unfortunately, I panicked and ended up sticking with the Avocado Burger because hey, avocado. It looks kind of like this, except for some reason all the toppings had fallen off. That's bush league.

Yeah, this is the first Mmmm, burgers photo from my iPhone, so if it looks particularly rectangular, that's why.

This burger was very meh. It was definitely cooked way past where I like it, and all the flavor from the meat seemed to have cooked away. The avocado was good, but not good enough to save the whole thing.

Fries were good though.

If we are ever at an airport again, don't let me get a burger at Chili's!!!

Seriously. That's what friends are for.

-Jon

I Actually Eat a Burger!

Much like a child, Mmmm, burgers has grown up and no longer needs me. Or I just don't eat as many burgers. Part of that is because I am cheap and like to eat sandwiches at home, and part of it is because I have branched out and tried new and exciting foods. Mostly it's the cheap thing though. The good news is that I continue to enjoy new beers and occasionally bitch about things, so you can still get your fill of my nonsense. Seriously, you can click those links right now and they'll open up in new windows so you won't miss out on this epic burger.

I was back home for some reason, so Dad and I (and Evan and Alec) went out to lunch at the 99 in order to satiate my craving for a cheeseburger. It was like infinity degrees out, so grilling was not an option. There is no temperature at which it's too cold to grill, but at some point when it's hot, standing in front of an open flame just isn't worth it. Plus the 99 is air conditioned.

After a brief decision making process, I ended up with the All Star Steakburger. FYI - the 99 has really cut back on their burger options. Western Massachusetts really needs a dedicated burger joint with dozens of burger choices. Sort of like what I envisioned Burger Bros (trademark pending) to be before I realized just how much absurd bullshit goes into owning and operating a business, particularly a food-based one. I think it would probably take about 30 years off my life, which has already been cut short from 5 years of teaching middle school. I've really gotten sidetracked here.

Anyways, the All Star Steakburger is just ridiculous. This thing has got cheese, bacon (why do restaurants place the bacon crisscrossed on top of the burger?!?), caramelized onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and some kind of "special sauce" that I skipped. I would say that 99.9% of the time, special sauce is ketchup, mayo and maybe something random like A1. Get that garbage off my burger. Oh, and did I mention the burger itself is like 3/4" thick?

It comes in a little Boston Red Sox wrapper in order to try to contain this behemoth. Also, notice that stupid little strip of bacon poking out on the right? If you have a 4" diameter sandwich and a 6" piece of bacon, it's just not going to work. Time to come up with a new bacon plan, restaurants! Like maybe cutting the bacon strips and melting the cheese over them to keep them from escaping! I know, I'm a visionary. At least when it comes to burgers.

This burger was quite delicious, even accounting for the fact that all 4 of our burgers were cooked one stage past what we ordered. Dad's rare burger was medium rare at best, my medium rare was medium, bordering on medium well, etc. At least it was juicy, which can save even an overcooked burger.

I would absolutely eat this burger again. Although, at the rate I've been eating burgers lately, that probably won't be until late 2012. And by that time, it's almost a guarantee that they'll have changed their menus again.

-Jon

So Here's the Thing...

You might be occasionally coming here and wondering how I could go this long without having a cheeseburger and still call myself a cheeseburger connoisseur. Well, I have actually had quite a few burgers.

"What?!?" you're probably asking. "That's outrageous!!!" Yeah, I guess it might be, but I came to an important decision a couple of weeks ago.

I'm only going to be writing about burgers I eat when I go out. Most of the time when I talk about grilled burgers at Mom & Chuck's or Dad & Kelly's, it's the same old story. That's not very exciting to read. So I'm not going to write about it anymore.

I will still be trying to photograph and document all restaurant burgers though, so don't you worry about that. So, various establishments in the greater Pioneer Valley area... consider yourself warned!

-Jon

That Has to Be a Record

After an evening of new beers and a delicious sandwich at Parish Cafe, obviously Saturday night had to be a burger night at R.F. O'Sullivan. And after an afternoon of drinking mojitos, it was going to be a burger night without its usual accompanying Newcastle. That's probably a good thing, as the last time I had one there, it was a bit past its prime. Just a Sprite for me, thanks.

I broke with the normal tradition of the top notch Blackjack Burger by going with its closest competitor, the JD Burger. I think that makes 2 straight trips without the Blackjack, so I suppose that next time I'll have to get it. I was just in the mood for something with barbecue sauce, and it seemed like the JD was the only one that had it.

Um, I also forgot to take a picture. Well, not really. I remembered after I picked it up, at which point it was too late. Once you get one of these beasts in your hand, putting it down almost always results in disaster. Sorry about that. I know how much you look forward to my awesome photography.

On the plus side, I ordered it with tomato and onion but no lettuce, and it came with tomato and onion but no lettuce! It was also a perfect medium rare. Obviously they have the A-Team working on Saturday night. I would say my only issue was that part of the burger had lots of delicious BBQ sauce, but one section was sauceless. I need my sauce!!

And speaking of Saturday nights, this had to be the emptiest I've ever seen this place on the weekend. I think the only time it was more deserted was that time Bill and I went after I picked him up at the airport, and we arrived at 11am that day. Having a zero wait time on a Saturday night was just weird. I think we were in and out of there in 50 minutes. Good times.

-Jon

So, Moving Kind of Sucks

I don't dislike the idea of moving. I hate the actual process of having to pack things, transport them, and then unpack them. At this point I am mostly moved. Although I suppose if you look at both my old residence and new residence you might decide that I am not actually moved, but rather am living in 2 places at once. And that's valid. It turns out that I have an awful lot of stuff.

At any rate, I was back in Ludlow on Tuesday in an attempt to transport more of my things, specifically the kitchen related ones. And a load of laundry. It's always good to have clean clothes. I also got a chance to stop by Dad and Kelly's for dinner, which just happened to be cheeseburgers!

I don't know if there was a sale on grinder rolls or if there was a shortage of hamburger rolls, but either way, we had the burgers cut in half on grinder rolls. It was kind of cool, and it was actually easier to eat them without the burger trying to slide out the back of the bun. Kelly might be on to something there.

I am supposed to be going to Boston this weekend, so perhaps more burger-related shenanigans will soon follow.

-Jon

The Elm City Brewing Company

Did you know that it's a shorter trip to Keene, NH than it is to go back to Ludlow? That's weird to me.

And obviously I told you that little piece of info to set up this story. Kate and I went to check out the Elm City Brewing Company up in Keene because it has beer and also a restaurant. Talk about a winning combination! Well, as long as both are good. If you want to know about the beers, you need to go somewhere else. But if you want to know about the burger, then read on!

They had an extensive menu, but I finally settled on the BBQ & Bacon Cheeseburger (at least I think that's what it was called... I forgot to write it down). It had bacon, obviously, and cheddar cheese along with their peach BBQ sauce. And it came with lettuce, tomato and onion and a pile of fries. PS - I skipped the lettuce, because lettuce is lame. It was a pretty large burger, and made the roll look undersized.

I believe those fries are known as steak fries, but it doesn't matter because they weren't that great. On the other hand, the burger was quite good. The peach added a nicely surprising sweetness to the burger, and the whole thing was ridiculously juicy. I made a giant mess eating it, which some people say is the mark of a good meal.

Both of us enjoyed our meals, so we'll probably go back there again.

-Jon

Nothing Too Fancy

I feel like I've written this post before. So I'll keep it short and sweet. And I'm going to be lazy and combine 2 different burger events into a single post.

Burger #1 was a bacon cheeseburger grilled by Chuck with the bacon under the cheese in order to keep it from escaping. There were also some sauteed mushrooms and onions (as per usual) and BBQ sauce as a condiment. Throw that together with a side of baked beans and you've got yourself a good meal.

Burger #2 was one of those pre-made frozen burgers as Sam and Ashleigh's cookout. Usually those burgers are difficult to cook correctly, so the key is in the available toppings. I decided to do with avocado (for deliciousness and health purposes), ketchup (to keep things from getting dry) and that buffalo chicken dip that people make for cookouts (because I figured it would be good). Seriously, how delicious is buffalo chicken dip? Pretty delicious if you ask me, which you didn't. I would eat that as a meal, which would probably end up going badly.

Both burgers were good. Next time you're at a cookout, give the buffalo chicken dip a chance on your burger. It will be delightful!

-Jon

Happy Father's Day. . . One More Time

I apparently already have 2 posts with Happy Father's Day in the title. It would seem that burgers are now the official sponsor of this holiday.

As a special treat for Dad, Matt volunteered me to cook the burgers for Father's Day. Now, you may know that I have a special hatred for grilling because every time I try to grill something on my grill, it gets cooked unevenly, or overcooked, or undercooked (as in still raw in places). I was under the impression that this was because I was not really a man since men can grill. Turns out it was just that my grill hates performing its job.

Using Dad and Kelly's grill, I was able to pull off an amazing feat of deliciousness. My trick? Preseasoning the meat with a little garlic salt and Montreal steak seasoning, and then to stuff cheese inside the burgers. I ended up with 4 cheese combo choices: American inside and on top, American inside with provolone on top, provolone inside and on top and obviously provolone inside with American on top. Is this my best idea ever? Probably.

And with a working grill, everyone's burgers came out cooked correctly. Even Kelly's, which is impressive since she eats hers well done to the point where I figured that leaving it on the grill any longer would be a fire hazard. It was not, and she enjoyed it, somehow...

Alright grilling, it's on now! You're attempts to undermine me with a shoddy performing piece of equipment have failed! Much meat shall be eaten to atone for your crimes!

-Jon

A New Burger Place Around the Corner!

This could be an exciting development if these burgers are of any high quality. You'll have to read on to find out. Or skip to the end.

There are a lot of quality places that are within a mile of Kate's house, including a packie, a great burrito place, a Subway, a DD, a place that is supposed to have delicious breakfast pastries, an "artisan" pizza place... the list is pretty long. I suppose the main idea here is that Brick Wall Burger had to have an impressive performance to make it into the rotation of places that we're going to dine at.

The first thing I noticed was the that the name is very accurate: there is exactly 1 brick wall in the interior of the restaurant. They offer about 6-8 already constructed burgers, or you can design your own. I opted for my own construction, and went with pepperjack cheese, chili garlic sauce, onions, tomato and avocado. All burgers come with cole slaw or spicy cole slaw, so I figured I might as well give the spicy one a try. I also got an order of fries, which I would come to regret.

This place has got some hefty burgers! I'm not sure if you can tell from the picture, but this thing is a beast. It's also cooked to a perfect medium rare, which makes a big difference in burger enjoyability.

Also, it was delicious! It was nice and juicy, making a mess of my plate and hands, and I enjoyed every minute of it. The spicy cole slaw was also good, and it might be the first time I have eaten cole slaw. Usually cole slaw looks all mayonnaisey and gross, but this wasn't. The fries were also good. The only issue was that there was just way too much food for me. Kate and I decided that next time we go, only one of us will get fries. Otherwise we'll be running the risk of exploding.

Long story short? Brick Wall Burger is a great burger place. Kate, Sadie, John and myself all had a delicious lunch with our four different choices. That's a good showing.

-Jon

Happy Memorial Day

Well, technically Happy Day Before Memorial Day. That just doesn't have the same ring to it though.

And what shows your patriotism better than eating a cheeseburger? Probably a lot of things, but I chose to express myself through the consumption of a pair of burgers. Actually they were twins, and will be described in all their glory momentarily.

Chris and Lindsay were around for the weekend, and Kate and the pugs were invited as well, so there was a whole lot of wackiness going on. Specifically as a result of Odin and Patches. Those two are crazy! Odin will probably be exhausted for the next 48 hours. The menu was burgers and hot dogs, along with Bill's baked beans, some pasta salad and I believe regular salad, although there wasn't nearly enough room on my plate for everything. I decided to focus on burgers and beans.

My burgers were both made with onions inside, and topped with bacon under cheddar and American cheese and served on a bun with sauteed mushrooms and onions. That is a hefty burger, and I easily could have been more than satisfied with just one of them. I decided to eat 2 though, which meant that by the end, my stomach was approximately 40% larger than its normal size and if you had poked me with anything sharp, I would have flown around the room like a cartoon. Luckily that did not happen.

That was a nice day.

-Jon

I Used to Eat More Burgers...

I don't eat nearly enough of them these days.

But I did eat one today! And that is cause for celebration. Or at least cause for a post.

After a long day of being a PE substitute and telling pugs to stop barking at dogs/cats/people/birds/things-in-their-minds-that-aren't-really-there-but-they-bark-at-anyways, a burger seemed like just the thing for dinner. Especially after I saw them in the fridge and predicted that they would be cooked soon thereafter.

This one was cooked perfectly! It was pink like a salmon, and I think there might have been two slices of cheese. And there was bacon! And BBQ sauce. Oh man, I wish I was eating another one right now. There was also some fries on the side along with potato chips and some delicious cheddar and bacon dip. What a delightful dinner!

-Jon

In Which James Outdoes Himself

Long time readers of this fantastic blog may remember that James made some pretty elaborate burgers a couple years ago. Well, he was back at it this weekend in the sequel to those burgers.

I had a pretty rough day working at a track meet where we were threatened by a thunderstorm, resulting in a pretty lame 30-minute delay as required by law, followed by some sideways rain. However, that pales in comparison to the Tough Mudder that James, Jen, Adam and about 5000 other people decided to subject themselves to up at Mount Snow. I didn't hear all the details, but I know it involved 10 miles of running/jogging/dragging your mutilated body along, getting shocked, swimming in ice water, climbing several consecutive 12-foot high walls, and carrying logs. Those people are nuts.

And then, after all that, James cooked food for us. What a nice guy. Also, there was bacon. Seriously, who doesn't like bacon? I mean, aside from Lindsay...

Yeah, that's my burger. Check out the volume of bacon on this thing! I got my serving of bacon, and I also got Lindsay's bacon because she wasn't going to eat it. There's also a slice of tomato and some red onion under the burger and pepperjack cheese on top. Can't go wrong with that combination.

I think that these burgers were even more delicious than the last ones. However, that could be because I was slightly wasted last time and my taste buds were not at their peak functioning. Regardless, these burgers were fantastic, and some of the best I've had in recent memory.

-Jon

Bacon Makes Everything Better

I don't know how I forgot to write about this, but with the nice feature of being able to date posts whenever I feel like it, no one will ever know in the future that this was delayed by a few days.

Chuck had gotten some high-quality ground beef from... Arnold's maybe to make delicious burgers. I don't care what anyone says; getting fresh ground beef and making your own patties is always better than getting pre-made ones. Even those pre-made ones with all sorts of fancy things inside.

These ones came out quite delicious. And combined with the onions I sauteed, some bacon, and some raw onion slices, the burgers were so good that they didn't even need any condiments. Yup, I went for the rarely seen double-onion approach to my burger. I do not recommend that on a date, unless you are lucky enough to date someone without a working nose. Or someone who is super easygoing. Good luck with that!

-Jon