In Which I Am Told a Terrible Lie

In my current state of moving, I have been using those cardboard boxes that reams of paper come in, so that it currently looks like I am not really moving from one apartment to another, but rather that I am a lawyer moving offices.  And the source of those boxes has been Jen, whose school apparently is overrun with said boxes.  This led to me stopping by her house today to obtain more boxes (I'm up to around 10) and us going to Uno's with Melissa.

At this point, I don't even really need the menu at Uno's, because I am getting the Bring Home the Bacon Burger with spicy cheddar cheese if I'm hungry.  If not, then it'll probably be the buffalo chicken quesadilla, but since that's not a burger there's really no point in discussing it further.  In and of itself, the burger is not particularly noteworthy, because it's always awesome.  However, today was filled with tragedy.

There's really no reason to go to Uno's and not drink a few beers, so we decided to get beer.  When Melissa asked if they had Spring Ale on tap (an admittedly foolish question, as Spring Ale blows), the waitress told us they had switched to Summer Ale.  I, of course, was immediately overcome with emotion for two reasons:  the first being that Summer Ale coming out is like the best moment of the beer drinking calendar, and the second being embarrassed that I was surprised by it coming out so early.  Needless to say, we ordered a round.  Sadly, no matter what that waitress said, that was definitely NOT Summer Ale, and I have had a few (hundred) so I know what I'm saying here.  I don't know if it was Spring Ale in a Summer Ale keg, or just a mistake on the waitress's part, but the official start of drinking season is yet to come.  On the plus side, I did have a bunch of #9's, so the beer drinking was not a total loss.

-Jon

Double Cheeseburgers

It has been quite a long time since I've had a cheeseburger.  Like 2 weeks!  Or more!!  Or less, maybe.  I am pretty terrible with dates / calendar-related activities.  But yesterday broke the drought.  We went with some enormous handmade burgers grilled by Chuck.  And to make them even more awesome, there were sauteed onions and tomatoes.  Now, Melissa and Jen may tell you that burgers should not have tomatoes, but they are wrong.  And Communists.  I will not stand idly by while this anti-tomato, pro-Communist aggression is perpetuated!

But back to our burgers, which were excellent.  It's really hard to go back to those frozen, store-bought burgers that come like 40 to a box once you get used to having fresh ground beef.*  These were so good that I ended up eating 2, which was probably somewhere around 9/16 of a pound of beef.**  It was actually so much that I had to eat more meat today to avoid getting symptoms of withdrawal.  I am pretty pumped for Spring to get serious about grilling and make up some ridiculous recipes.

-Jon

* Editor's note:  frozen burgers are ok at Alex's if prepared with boursin cheese.

** Precooked weight.

We Eat More Burgers

Since burgers were not an option Friday night, they became a requirement on Saturday.  Along with about a million beers, starting at 11:45 am.  It was a day of beer variety, combining Magic Hat, Sam Adams Boston Ale, Red Stripe (Hooray beer!) and Harpoon UFO.  Also, we threw a White Russian in there for good measure.

Of course we ended up at R.F. O'Sullivan for lunch, where I had a Black & Blue Burger to compare it to the one from ESPNZone.  Surprisingly, the ESPNZone burger might have been the winner.  The blue cheese on this one was a little too everywhere.  But we did get to continue our drinking, which was pretty sweet.  And we ended up eating the leftover fries and onion rings around midnight.

Then we ate more burgers the next day for lunch, but homemade again.  With bacon.  This was a quality weekend for burgers all around.

-Jon

Homemade Boursin Burgers

It would appear that every year, the Harpoon Brewery celebrates St. Patrick's Day a bit early, and this year that would be on March 6th.  The entry fee is a bit steep ($20), but, hypothetically, if your friend knows one of the beer pourers, you can easily make this fee back, and then some.  Which is exactly what happened, because Alex knew one of the pourers and we ended up drinking about way too much beer for the low, low price of nothing.

The downside to this is that we ended up a bit too drunk a bit too early, but had high hopes of making it back to Somerville before R.F. O'Sullivan closed.  And we nearly did it.  Except we were 2 minutes late.  Two minutes!!!  Faster walking, an earlier train, the shuttle leaving earlier. . . some tiny combination of events would have gotten us those delicious burgers!  Unfortunately, it was not to be.

Except that Alex is a problem solver.  And he had burgers at his apartment.  And some crazy cheese called "boursin."  Maybe it was the extreme intoxication, or maybe it was because we hadn't eaten in like 12 hours, but those burgers were fantastic.  And messy.  I actually made a bib out of paper towels, both because of the messiness and my inability to focus on the task at hand of eating a burger neatly.

The next day, R.F. O'Sullivan will be visited, but for that night, homemade burgers rule!

-Jon

Oh yeah. . .

I guess I forgot about the last burger of the Vegas trip. Which is strange, because it was by far the best one. And I got an enormous glass (if that's the right word for the monstrous container) of Sam Adams, which I was allowed to wander the casino with.

After James and I abused the craps table at Casino Royale for $96 and $248 respectively, the 6 of us headed to ESPNZone for dinner on James' recommendation. It did not disappoint. I went with the Black and Blue Burger, mostly because it had a funny title. But also because how often do you get a burger that is covered in gorgonzola cheese? It also had blackened spices, which based on my cooking is just a fancy word for burnt, but this time meant "delicious." I guess I have a few things to learn about cooking. There was also some chipotle sauce on that bad boy, which was a fantastic choice. Hands down, it was the best of the 5 Vegas burgers, and would give some of R.F. O'Sullivan's a run for their money.

We also had the enjoyment of being next to a wall covered in TVs showing like 13 different sporting events, but the most exciting was a hockey game. No, seriously! There was a drunken group of guys who had to be from Canada based purely on their love of hockey and their intense cheering for Calgary. Which meant that I was also cheering for Calgary, only because it meant I could start yelling in a restaurant without any consequences. Ah Vegas, I do so love your open container laws.

-Jon