Much like a child, Mmmm, burgers has grown up and no longer needs me. Or I just don't eat as many burgers. Part of that is because I am cheap and like to eat sandwiches at home, and part of it is because I have branched out and tried new and exciting foods. Mostly it's the cheap thing though. The good news is that I continue to enjoy new beers and occasionally bitch about things, so you can still get your fill of my nonsense. Seriously, you can click those links right now and they'll open up in new windows so you won't miss out on this epic burger.
I was back home for some reason, so Dad and I (and Evan and Alec) went out to lunch at the 99 in order to satiate my craving for a cheeseburger. It was like infinity degrees out, so grilling was not an option. There is no temperature at which it's too cold to grill, but at some point when it's hot, standing in front of an open flame just isn't worth it. Plus the 99 is air conditioned.
After a brief decision making process, I ended up with the All Star Steakburger. FYI - the 99 has really cut back on their burger options. Western Massachusetts really needs a dedicated burger joint with dozens of burger choices. Sort of like what I envisioned Burger Bros (trademark pending) to be before I realized just how much absurd bullshit goes into owning and operating a business, particularly a food-based one. I think it would probably take about 30 years off my life, which has already been cut short from 5 years of teaching middle school. I've really gotten sidetracked here.
Anyways, the All Star Steakburger is just ridiculous. This thing has got cheese, bacon (why do restaurants place the bacon crisscrossed on top of the burger?!?), caramelized onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and some kind of "special sauce" that I skipped. I would say that 99.9% of the time, special sauce is ketchup, mayo and maybe something random like A1. Get that garbage off my burger. Oh, and did I mention the burger itself is like 3/4" thick?
It comes in a little Boston Red Sox wrapper in order to try to contain this behemoth. Also, notice that stupid little strip of bacon poking out on the right? If you have a 4" diameter sandwich and a 6" piece of bacon, it's just not going to work. Time to come up with a new bacon plan, restaurants! Like maybe cutting the bacon strips and melting the cheese over them to keep them from escaping! I know, I'm a visionary. At least when it comes to burgers.
This burger was quite delicious, even accounting for the fact that all 4 of our burgers were cooked one stage past what we ordered. Dad's rare burger was medium rare at best, my medium rare was medium, bordering on medium well, etc. At least it was juicy, which can save even an overcooked burger.
I would absolutely eat this burger again. Although, at the rate I've been eating burgers lately, that probably won't be until late 2012. And by that time, it's almost a guarantee that they'll have changed their menus again.
-Jon
