Cookout Day

James', Nicole's and my first cookout at the new house came and went in a fairly successful fashion. Of course, I am defining success as: nothing caught on fire, no one was hospitalized and the police did not show up (other than the officers who were invited). In addition, many beverages were consumed and there was no damage to the house. After being involved in so many house-damaging and police-arriving incidents in college, it was a nice change of pace.

The clear highlight of the entire party was Mom's taco dip, which lasted approximately 19 minutes. After that, James took care of grilling duties, and we had some chicken wings, hot dogs (gross) and cheeseburgers. The wings were good, but the burgers were excellent. I am not sure how I ended up with one (it was on a plate and I decided it was mine; this might not have been the case), but I was pretty pleased with the decision. Next party we'll have to go with more burgers and fewer hot dogs, since we ran out of hot dog buns and people were using our precious burger buns with their nasty hot dogs.

Also, we had several cases of Summer Ale, so there was some nice progress on this year's Summer Ale Challenge. That may have also been responsible for the mysteriously appearing burger. Good times.

Happy Father's Day

Nothing fancy here, just a couple burgers over at Dad & Kelly's for Father's Day. I think they were the usual ones they get from Big Y, kept a little bit rare. Even though Kelly eats charcoal burgers, she still grills good ones for the rest of us. What a nice lady.

There were also tomatoes to put on them, because as everyone knows, burgers are much better when tomato is included. Don't ask Melissa though, because she is silly and thinks that tomatoes are bad. There was lettuce too, but who gets excited about lettuce?

I think that Wednesday night might have to be a burger night to celebrate the end of school for the year and the temporary suspension of my oppressive math regime. Also to celebrate the passing of the 200 mark for this summer's challenge. Now that is something to get excited about.

-Jon

Live From New York

Finally. After several months of reading Jon’s posts, I am officially joining in his quest to find the world’s best burger. Hopefully I can contribute any and all burger-related news with some semblance of regularity, but I’m afraid that Jon may have me beat on that count, considering my 150 sq. ft. New York City apartment with no outdoor space prevents me from grilling anything at all (as much as I wish I could!). But what NYC lacks in space, it certainly makes up for with some of the best burger joints on the East Coast. It’s my mission to hit up as many of these places as I can, as long as my stomach (and waistline) can handle it. Stay tuned…

In Lieu of Work

After something like 172 days of doing work, it was finally time for the 8th grade field trip to High Meadow. This marks the 5th time or so that I've been there, because that was definitely the exact same 8th grade trip that the school took when I was there. Hey, it's Ludlow: if something changes there is going to be a panic attack on an epidemic scale.

The thing about this field trip that is great is that there is pretty much no responsibility on my part other than eating and making sure everyone that is on the bus on the way is also on the bus for the trip home (success!). And obviously I decided to go with a cheeseburger for lunch. Considering that the people cooking were feeding something like 5 schools of kids, I can't be too upset with the burger being way more cooked than it needed to be. You gotta figure there were something like a thousand kids there at once. I think the most burgers I've ever been responsible for at one time is like 8. Besides, there was red onion. Can't really go wrong with red onion.

I bet next year I can just copy and paste this exact same thing and have it still be true. Stay tuned for about 12 months.

-Jon

A New Record

After a wild night with the Funbags, I had to make my way down to CT for Amy and Scott's engagement cookout/yard sport extravaganza. And since my car had to spend the night across town, that meant I got a late start on my trip down after walking across town to pick it up. This actually worked out pretty well, because it meant that the food was already ready by the time I arrived.

I am not exactly sure what the seasoning on the burgers was (because the name of the seasoning was Burger Shakers, a somewhat vague title), but it was great. I think the order of events was something along the line of: open a Magic Hat, eat a burger, finish Hank's game of croquet, eat another burger, sit on a hammock, eat another burger (this one only had a bottom bun for some reason, which caused much amusement for everyone else present), sit around making jokes about college, sit around making jokes about pretty much everyone we went to college with, and eat another burger. Yes, I ate 4 burgers. That is a personal best. And, possibly more impressive, there were no repercussions like meat poisoning. I think that record will probably stand for a while, if not forever.

-Jon

More Spicy Burgers

Well, maybe it wasn't that spicy, but you would think a burger with the name Fire Pit Bacon Burger that had pepper-jack cheese and smoky chipotle spread (and yes I am currently looking at the menu online) would have at least a little zip to it.

I also learned another valuable lesson about women. Apparently if one tells you at 5:30 that you should show up any time after 6, she really means that you should show up immediately at 6 because if you aren't there by 6:13 you will get a unnecessarily angry text message about your current location. Also, as a side note, if you are already "late," (although I can't see how you could be late if the time frame is so vague) she may get upset if you open a beer upon arrival. Even if you drink the beer in 8 minutes. I know, I was shocked as well.

Anyway, I was sort of the odd man out (literally) at dinner, as I am the only one who got a burger, the only one who got a beer, the only one that is a male and the only one who eats burgers properly. Meaning rare. Technically the burger was not really rare, but I ordered it rare so I get points for trying. It seems that Melissa, Kathryn and Diana all are fans of charcoal burgers, by which I mean burgers that taste like charcoal, not charcoal grilled.

The burger was good in spite of its failure to be spicy, and it had red onion on it, which is fast becoming a required topping for me. Stay tuned for my next story in which I don't eat for 19 hours and then end the fasting with a ridiculous lunch.

-Jon

My Best Work Yet

Alright, now we're talking.  I think I'm finally getting the hand of this grilling thing.  Well, getting the hang of it again.  I guess taking the winter off really hurts your abilities.

Today there was no falling apart of burgers, nothing fell through the grating, and everything came out right.  The burger du jour was grass-fed local beef from lovely Shelburne Falls, courtesy of Kathryn.  I decided to get a little crazy and try to do something fancy, and it ended up working out pretty well.  I picked up a red onion at Randall's (since it is clearly the superior onion) and went with the Nicky S. plan of grilling a nice cross section of it.  Then I threw a little crushed red pepper on the meat along with a bit of Tuscan seasoning (which comes highly recommended by Nicole M.).  Finally, in a stroke of genius, I melted the cheese OVER the onion.  Seriously, from now on, all toppings will go under the cheese.  It's fantastic.

After all that preparation, the burgers were finally ready.  I will say this for the Tuscan stuff:  even if it doesn't make the burgers better (even though it does), it makes everything smell great when you open up the grill.  Maybe it's part potpourri?  The burgers came out nice and rare, and as of yet, there is no food poisoning.

Plus, I got to add to the Summer Ale Challenge (also courtesy of Kathryn).  Between beers and burgers, there isn't a whole lot that could ruin this night.

-Jon

Call Me Lance

Ok, that is a little bit on the fruity side, what with the ball thing.  And that guy from N*Sync.  Or the Backstreet Boys, whichever one had the Lance guy.  But I did ride a bicycle today for about 6 miles, so it's sort of appropriate, and definitely referring to Lance Armstrong.  Not that I am on any sort of health kick; it was strictly to get a burger.  And it was a fantastic decision.

We had burgers that were very similar to the stuffed bleu cheese burgers from last time.  Possibly the same burgers, although these ones were spicier.  Also, I am not sure if we had tomatoes with them last time.  But the bleu cheese inside was great again, and the bleu cheese on top (along with grilled onions, which may or may not have fallen on the ground).  Plus, spicy burgers are making a strong case for being superior than the non-spicy kind (for instance, the Blackjack Burger).  And you really can't go wrong with a couple Summer Ales.  But not too many, because it might be a crime to drink and ride a bicycle.  And I don't want any firsthand knowledge if it is.

-Jon