It's Like a Time Warp

But not like that really weird song from whatever movie it was in that some group of seniors did a wacky dance to in one of the Senior Shows, possibly '06. Yeah, that was a strange opening to this post.

Kathryn and I went back to the Gill Tavern, much as I stated I would do given the opportunity. Unfortunately, we were unable to get a table this time. However, we were able to sit at the bar, which means we didn't drive the whole 15 minutes to get there for nothing. Sitting at the bar has the added advantage of letting us talk to the cook/chef, which possibly got us our food faster. I am not sure if there is a difference between a cook and a chef, but I bet there is and I bet it's related to those awesome hats the Swedish Chef wears.

I obviously went with the burger again, but this time I got bacon on it in addition to my cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. I also got more Pied pIPA, even though my glass clearly says "Farmer Brown" on it. See? I made a point of turning the pint glass so that you could see the false advertising.

This time I made sure to let the meat juice soak into the bun before I started eating it, and it made all the difference. The burger was cooked nicely again, although Kathryn noticed that it wasn't perfectly pink like last time. It was still pretty pink, and it was nice and juicy, which is all that really matters. That's the real reason I don't like well-done burgers: they are just way too dry. Well, that and they taste like charcoal mixed with feet.

There was no apple crisp this time, so we passed on dessert and then went home so I could drink my nice bottle of Lefty's Irish-Style Stout while listening to the calming snores of two sleepy pugs. What a life.

-Jon

I Am a Pig

After last night's rehearsal dinner, where I may have spent a good deal of my time drinking too much white wine, we went back to the hotel for a nice little gathering. Well, not so much little as "too big for hotel security's liking." It was also a roaming party whose location moved across a few different rooms. So the end result was that maybe I had a couple extra cocktails over the amount I should have had.

And the end result of that is that I was not really in the mood for breakfast during the 7-10am window that the hotel had its complimentary continental breakfast. But I was in the mood for breakfast at noon. Unfortunately, I did not have a car and I did not have any idea where to go. Cue Melissa! Melissa had both a car and a phone that let me shake it until it told me places to eat in the immediate area. And then somehow I messed that up by picking a place and then forgetting what I had picked, which meant that even though it was my choice, breakfast was a surprise to me.

We went to a place called Raff's, and I got the grilled meatloaf special. Yup, apparently meatloaf is an appropriate breakfast food. Hey, it worked for me.

Now, I told you that story so I could tell you this one, since that first part isn't burger related at all. You would think that a big meatloaf breakfast would be enough until the wedding, but nope. About 2 hours later, it was time for lunch. This time, I was ready for a burger. Kathryn didn't care where we went as long as she didn't have to drive, so I decided to go to a restaurant we had passed that morning called Archie's Place.

Sadly, my phone was being disagreeable and had not maintained its charge, so I couldn't take a picture of the giant burger that I ordered. I got the Chili Cheeseburger, which obviously had chili and shredded cheese on top of the huge burger. There was also lettuce, tomato and onion, presumably because there needed to be some kind of vegetable to go along with the absurd amount of meat.

The burger was good, but not great. I am not sure how it happened, but the inside of the burger was cooked perfectly medium rare, and the outside was burnt a little. That's just weird. Other than that, the rest of the meal was good. This place also gave me a giant pile of fries, and they were pretty good. Just far too numerous. On the downside, our waitress kind of sucked. Chances are that if you don't really like people, a customer service-related job is probably not the one for you.

Now it's time to get ready for the actual wedding, where I will presumably eat another giant meal. Congratulations, Steve and Maura!

-Jon

A Fun Time in the Rain

With Steve and Maura's rehearsal dinner scheduled for Friday night, it was time to head out east to get ourselves situated at the world's most hidden Comfort Suites. Since Kathryn was working, I rode up with Beth, Mike and Jimmy in what can only be described as "The Biggest Mistake Beth Has Ever Made." I don't think that she will ever be willing to drive the 3 of us anywhere in the near future. Especially not on a long trip in the rain.

Some time around Worcester, we needed to stop so that Mike could pee, Beth could get coffee and Jimmy could throw up in the parking lot at Barnes & Noble. And I got a hot chocolate, because I didn't want to get left out. In case you were wondering, the Barnes & Noble in Random Shopping Plaza, Worcester looks a lot nicer than the one near the Holyoke Mall. You know, minus the vomit in the parking lot.

As we were leaving, Mike and I noticed that there was a Five Guys in roughly the same plaza, so we stopped there (since it's supposed to be pretty good) instead of going to McDonald's (since it's gross). I was glad, because I was super hungry and also have been told on numerous occasions that I need to go there. Well, this trip fixed both of those issues.

The first thing I thought when I walked in was that this place is a lot like In-N-Out Burger. That's probably because they have a similar ordering system and a whole lot of red around the place. I decided to get the Bacon Cheeseburger, since you have to go all out on your first trip to a new place. I also wanted to get a good idea of how the burger itself is, so I only got tomato, grilled onions and jalapeños for toppings. They have a whole bunch of other toppings as well, but I didn't want to overdo things.

Pleasant surprise number 1: the burgers are automatically double cheeseburgers. I was not expecting that. Pleasant surprise number 2: these things come with an incredibly large amount of cheese. There was cheese everywhere!! Pleasant surprise number 3: the jalapeños are the bright green fresh ones, not the olive green jarred ones. That's some good stuff right there.

The burger was great! I am glad there is another Five Guys fairly close by so that I can go again and try some crazy new burger combination. They also give you way more fries than any normal person needs to try to eat in one sitting. I didn't find the fries to be that delicious though, so having 3 servings worth of them wasn't a major selling point with me. I'll stick to just the giant burger next time.

-Jon