Getting Lost is Funny

Let this be a lesson for the future. If you are going to try a new place, you may want to either check the directions before you leave, or let the people in your car know where you are going ahead of time. Otherwise, you may end up driving 4 or 5 miles past the restaurant and having to stop behind a bank to pee. Check with Steve for more details.

We did eventually make it to Buffalo Wild Wings, and thought we were in for a long wait when we saw about 20 people standing out front. Turns out they were all together, so there was no problem. The next problem was that the guy told us there would be a wait, even though as we walked in to the bar area we saw at least 7 completely open tables. Turns out the wait was about 2 minutes. We hadn't even gotten our beers before the little buzzer went off telling us we could be seated. Why even bother with the buzzer? We stayed at the bar instead.

Now for the real dilemma. We were at a place that had "wings" in the title, but I have made a promise to eat more new burgers. What to do? I ate a burger with a ridiculous name, strictly because of said name. I hadn't even read the description, which made it even more awesome when the burger arrived and had pulled pork on it. Two animals had to die for me to eat last night. Take that, vegetarians!

The burger itself was the Big Jack Daddy Burger. Besides the pulled pork, it also had onion rings on it with some kind of sweet BBQ sauce. Maybe honey BBQ? I could probably just look it up, but meh. Throw some lettuce and tomatoes on there, and you've got a burger that pretty much stacks up to the Paradise City burger with pulled pork. Why do these places have to be so far away?

Also, their fries were good. Mmmm.

I also tried another new beer (which is another resolution I have made): BBC Cabin Fever. Apparently it's some kind of seasonal beer, because I had never heard of it before. Luckily, it's a good one. It tastes pretty similar to some other kind of beer that I can't quite put my finger on. I will have to consider this in the future.

-Jon

I Think That's All of Them

Unless there is a secret menu page with more choices, I have now eaten all of the non-standard burgers at Paradise City. This is not that impressive when you look at the menu and see that there are only 3 other burgers. But it is still a minor accomplishment since there are many places where trying all the burgers is impossible. For example, Ruby Tuesday changes their menu every week. And R.F. O'Sullivan has a bunch of weird burgers for weirdos, so clearly I won't be eating them.

The last burger on the list was the Wild Blu Burger, which comes with blue cheese and mushrooms and a lack of spelling fundamentals. It also had some tomato, lettuce and red onion for added deliciousness (onion and tomato) and green coloring (lettuce). The burger was huge, and also delicious. However, it was not nearly as big as their giant burger with pulled pork on it.

It's very strange. I think that I avoided mushrooms for the majority of my young life at my own loss. It is also very sad. At least now I am making up for it.

Kathryn also got a burger, so it seems I am having a positive influence on her. Now if I can just get her to finish her fries and stop using mayonnaise. . .

-Jon

A Momentous Occasion

More burgers already! This year is off to a good start.

The occasion mentioned in the title would be that I helped fry the sweet potato fries in super hot oil without burning myself at all. For most people, that would not be a major accomplishment. For me, it is great because it's probably the first time it's ever happened.

We went with bacon cheeseburgers with sauteed mushrooms and onions. This is fast becoming the standard of the Mom & Chuck burger cooking experience. Although in the future, we should probably make sure that there is plenty of propane first and start the mushroom and onions second, because we almost had a dinner of bacon topped with onions and mushrooms. Maybe winter grilling is not the way to go. Haha, just kidding. What a ridiculously outrageous idea.

I should probably have made a resolution to eat more burgers from more places, since I seem to have fallen off in the new burger department as of late. I will do what I can to remedy this. Maybe I'll even try something new next time I get to hit R.F. O'Sullivan. That would be a big step.

-Jon

A Shameless Plug

The new blog is now live. Head over to Mmmm, opinions to listen to my brothers and I ramble on about all sorts of ridiculous things. And I mean everything: people, games, movies, beers, abstract concepts. . . this blog's got it all.

-Jon

Hello 2010

After a whole year of burger-eating, I should probably reflect on all the burgers I've had and announce the current champion. But I won't, because I am lazy and I don't want any of the burgers to feel bad. Unless I already said they sucked, in which case screw 'em.

As previously mentioned, there is not really any grilling season in the family. This means that any Thursday could end up being a surprise burger day, which is exactly what happened today. Double-cheese burger with a side of baked beans. Don't be confused. It was a double-cheese burger because I got one of the ones with 2 slices of cheese. Also, the beans were great. Secret family recipe containing hobo spices. Or is that just a lie to throw you off the scent?

I would like to go eat that pulled-pork monster burger at Paradise City again. That isn't really related to anything though.

-Jon

More Carside To Go

This is a sequel post to 2 other posts. See if you can figure out which ones. First correct answer wins nothing.

I went up to the Great North a little early to hang out with the animals and see how many different allergy pills I could take in a single day without having some sort of synergistic effect that knocked me unconscious (the current record is 3: CVS Generic, Claritin and Zyrtec). I was also tasked with the picking of the dinner. Since I don't really know any of the places around there, and I didn't want to put much effort into it, I went with Applebee's because I thought it would be easiest for Kathryn to pick up on the way home, as she has to pass it.

Even though my version of the menu was given to me within 2 hours of placing my order, I somehow did not have an up-to-date copy. This resulted in my original order not actually being on the "real" menu and also in me feeling incredibly foolish for not having a backup plan. I just went with an easy standby. A cheeseburger! The Fire Pit Bacon Burger to be more specific. And it was good, even as takeout. I was pretty surprised. I think that place may have to be visited more frequently. Especially if they actually make the Fire Pit a little spicier.

After the burger I enjoyed a nice Winter Warmer and then fell asleep covered in pug and cats while watching the Celtics stage an impressive comeback over the Pacers. That is a good night.

-Jon

This is Becoming a Habit

Ok, so apparently I was not done with my Christmas shopping after all. Maybe next time I should check my list a little more closely. Maybe even check it twice! Wow, that was bad.

Back to the mall to finish up a couple last minute things. Of course, I am not able to divulge the gifts in case anyone actually reads this thing, but suffice it to say that as long as Mom's gift arrives in the next 2 days, I am all set. Also, it turns out that ordering something on December 11th still might not be early enough for it to arrive by Christmas. Hopefully next year I will come back and read this and do all my online shopping on Thanksgiving. Good thing I'm writing it down.

Since I am pretty much opposed to all other fast food, going to the mall offers me the chance to eat at the one passable restaurant: Wendy's. I ordered exactly the same thing as last time, but this time I actually made an effort to remember the name of the meal. Which I then forgot. I am an embarrassment to burger-blog-writers everywhere.

I am pleased that while the burger was literally exactly the same as last time, the fries were slightly less salty. Still far too salty, but at least semi-enjoyable. No Frosty this time though. Maybe that's a sign that I am growing up.

In other news, watch the posts for a new link. Tired of reading about burgers? Looking for under-researched and over-opinionated writing with far too many dependent clauses and an excessive use of parentheses? Want me to stop asking rhetorical questions? Stay tuned. . .

-Jon

One of Them Was Slightly Better

Days where 2 of the meals are cheeseburgers are generally good days. Today was no exception to this rule.

The first burger was Wendy's for lunch after a hard day of Christmas shopping. It actually was quite hard because of back pain from shoveling the day before. Kathryn and I utilized many a Holyoke Mall bench for frequent breaks, which I have to assume added about half an hour to our trip. Also, what is the deal with the Borders at that mall? It's nearly impossible to find what you are looking for if you are looking for a specific book.

I went with the. . . I don't know, whatever they replaced the Big Bacon Classic with. It's the exact same thing. And still delicious. And the Frosty (not Joe, the milkshake thing) is always a nice replacement for a soda. Too bad they went a little overboard with the salt on my French fries. I still ate them all though, because I am a champion.

Later, dinner ended up being cheeseburgers again! This time they were grilled in foolish sub-freezing temperatures over at Dad and Kelly's. Two of us had burgers, and two of us had charcoal briquets. Apparently these silly ladies think that well done is an appropriate way to cook a piece of meat. I shed a tear.

In an unrelated side (dish) note, we had tortellini salad along with the burgers. I would estimate that I ate about a pound. That is good stuff.

-Jon

9 Year Reunion

Obviously we'll have to try this again at Christmas after so many people decided not to be around, but the mini-reunion was still a fun time. Mostly spent making fun of pretty much everything. Especially New Jersey. Did you realize that simply living in New Jersey makes you less friendly? Ask Kim for more details.

We went to Ruby Tuesday this year, which seems to be less appealing than Uno's since far fewer people showed up. We ended up with a pair of (former) Sagans, a pair of Steves, Helder and myself. Then we proceeded to mock the vast majority of Facebook posts than people make. We also found out that Helder pretty much remembers nobody from high school, which will make the official reunion next year incredibly hilarious.

I would say that the highlight of the meal was when Steve ordered the Turkey Sliders, then commented after the waitress left that "I never had a turkey burger, I was just under a lot of pressure. It was the first thing I saw." I think he was distracted by the salad bar.

As for myself, I went with the Triple Prime Bacon Cheddar Burger (insert lame math joke about primes). No mayo. I believe my statement was "If there's mayo, so help me. . ." but no actual threat so that I wouldn't be asked to leave the restaurant. And there was no mayo. Clearly the key is to make sure that you make a ridiculous comment after asking for no mayo to make sure that it gets remembered. Good to know for future reference, until my plan to keep mayo off all burgers is enacted. If only I had my own restaurant.

-Jon

Much As I Expected

Although last night failed to deliver a burger (because we had gigantic burritos instead), today there was no question about what lunch would be. We bravely adventured the whole 200 yards through rain and puddles to make it over to R.F. O'Sullivan for a delicious meal.

After last night's crazy Carnival party (which involved rocking out pretty hardcore to I'm On a Boat and dominating some fools in Beirut/Pong), we had all intentions of having breakfast but instead decided to just wait until a more appropriate lunch time. Not that I wouldn't eat a burger for breakfast, as evidenced by a previous tale. Catherine showed up sometime around 11 I think and had to wait until Erica's roommate Jess could make it over on the T. She got lost. This cost us valuable eating time, but luckily Guitar Hero was able to hold us over until she got reoriented.

Good thing the Blackjack burger is so amazingly fantastic, because that was the worst Newcastle I have ever had. I think the 08 that I found on the bottle was probably the date it was good until, because I was highly disappointed in that beer. The burger itself was still as great as I remember, so the meal itself was a good time. Except that Jess ruined her burger by ordering it well done. What is wrong with people?

-Jon

The Ultimate Burger

Nope, I am not saying it is the winner of the Best Burger Ever. That was actually what it was called. Sorry for the deception.

Dinner was at a place in Turners Falls called Cafe Martin (I think I am missing some accent marks there, because there was a lot of French stuff on the walls). It it one of Kathryn's favorite places, and since I have no idea about anything that far north, she was obviously going to be the one making the decision. I felt slightly bad ordering a burger when there were so many fancy things on the menu, but I have a reputation to uphold.

We also started off with bruschetta, which was so ridiculously huge that I almost regretted the decision. At least until I ate it, because it was great. It also prevented Kathryn from having any chance of finishing her dinner. I, however, dominated the Ultimate Burger with surprising authority. I didn't finish my potatoes though. . .

The burger itself was another take on what apparently is my favorite. Sauteed onions, sauteed mushrooms, bacon and gorgonzola. I also put a couple tomatoes on there, even though they had no business with those other ingredients. But hey, tomatoes are delicious. And the whole thing was 8 oz (probably pre-cooked weight; why don't they just put the post-cooked weight? It's a mystery). And they cooked it right, which is highly pleasing. If I ever find myself almost in Vermont again, I will be stopping there for another one. Or maybe a filet mignon. Ooh! A burger made of filet mignon. Wait, that's probably going too far.

-Jon

November is Grilling Weather

So October was a little slow for eating burgers, but November is off to a quick start. Thursday night was another trip to Dad and Kelly's, and burgers were on the menu. There were also fancy French fries. I am not exactly sure what they were, but there was definitely some sort of garlic seasoning going on there. They were also really hot when they came out of the oven, which I experienced firsthand.

The sad part of the story is that of the 3 burgers that were not well done, Dad and I got the ones that were the most done, and Zannah got the rarest one. That is really unfair. She's a dog! Ours were only slightly past medium rare though, so nothing too serious.

We'll see if grilling continues once the snow starts. That's the real test.

-Jon

I Need a Mint

Today's burger was surprising in that the original plan was actually to go get breakfast. Unfortunately, the brunch buffet at The Station is apparently only available on Sundays. Oops. Also, the line at Sylvester's was like 45 minutes long, and there was no way that we intended to wait that long. There were so many people that it took Kathryn 3 minutes to get our names OFF the list. That is just wacky.

Eventually we ended up at Fitz Willy's because Kathryn and I knew it was good and Melissa had never been. This resulted in my food plans going from brunch to a burger. Namely, the French Onion burger. Not sure what exactly made it French, since it had Swiss cheese, but I am not in the burger-naming business (although I may look into it). There were sauteed onions, onions straws and a slice of red onion on this thing. I can only imagine what that did to my breath.

Sadly, the burger did not live up to the high expectations I had for it. First, it was overdone slightly. Nothing is worse for a burger than overcooking it. Second, we had the most ridiculously fantastic appetizer of all time: gorgonzola garlic bread. There was pretty much nothing that was going to live up to that thing. Fries were good though.

Next time I am going to follow my instincts and get a different burger. Or, just make it clear that I don't mean medium well when I say medium rare.

-Jon

That's a Lot of Possibilities

This post is long overdue, but since I am lazy all I have to say is "tough luck."

Also, it contains math.

At some point in the last 2 weeks (I believe it was a Sunday), we had burger night at Mom & Chuck's before the bros headed back to Boston. I am not sure what the original plan was, but somehow it exploded into so many burger options that it would take months to try them all. The various options included: onions in the burger, blue cheese in the burger, blue cheese on the burger, American cheese on the burger, pepper jack cheese on the burger, sauteed onions and sauteed mushrooms. I also prepped some red onions with olive oil and grilled those up. Admittedly, we may have gone a bit overboard on the onions, but to be fair, onions are delicious. And there was the option of a toasted bun, which is just a classy choice. Offhand, I think this ends up with 256 burger options based on the way I am doing the calculations. That's a lot of burgers.

After loading up with both sauteed. . . vegetables (not sure if onions or mushrooms count in that department), I decided on the grilled onion and American cheese option with onions and blue cheese inside the burger. This resulted in a burger that was about 2.5 inches tall. Also, there were two of them. I am fairly certain that was enough food to last me through the next day. But it was delicious, and I would eat another one right now if I wasn't full of pizza.

Oh yeah, the French fries were also fantastic. No such luck with the ketchup though. Really, why does any company besides Heinz even bother making ketchup?

-Jon

PS - If Kathryn says anything, this has been up for days.

Oops

Yes, I did eat some burgers the other night. No, I haven't written about it yet. Don't worry, I will take care of it this weekend. And hopefully eat another burger as well.

-Jon