Oh Right

I almost forgot that I have a burger blog since it's been nearly a full month since the last time I ate one. Which kind of makes me sad. Good thing I have that beer blog going so I at least have something to write about. I feel like such a slacker.

Kathryn, Sadie and I went out for a small lunch at The People's Pint before Kathryn's big birthday party extravaganza tonight. It's extra convenient because it's right around the corner from her house! There were several appealing items on the menu, but it didn't really matter because the only thing I could feel comfortable ordering was a burger after the absurdly long break. I also got a Pied pIPA since it was delightfully tasty the last time I got it.

The burger was a nice local patty with some cheddar cheese and lettuce. Apparently since tomatoes are not currently in season for the area (as the only thing in season right now is snow), they were not available as a topping. That is not a good start. The other thing I found a bit annoying was that the burger was really basic and every additional topping cost a premium price. I'm a cheap guy, and a $17 burger with the works seems a bit extreme to me.

All cheapness aside, the burger was cooked perfectly. Medium rare should be a little bit pink and juicy, and this burger was just that. Sadly, it wasn't as flavorful as I was expecting. I think the meat just needs some seasoning. And potato chips are not a good substitute for french fries. Just saying.

Overall, it wasn't a bad burger, but it wasn't one that I am itching to get again. Get some tomatoes and maybe some bacon and then we'll have something.

-Jon

Burgers Were the Bright Spot

Today started off ok, except that a certain pair of pugs wanted to get up earlier than I did. I was going to be subbing for a half day, and it was the second half, which meant I didn't have to get up at 6. Then I had a productive morning. I did some laundry, washed some dishes, neatened up my Pau Gasol-esque neckbeard, ate a breakfast sandwich and bacon. . . things were looking up. And then I went outside, and found yet another flat tire. How is this even possible!?

But luckily, dinner ended up being a cheeseburger and waffle fries. On a sidenote, what's the deal with waffle fries? How are they like a waffle? Waffles don't have holes in them, and waffle fries do. Case closed. Time to rename those bad boys. Since I did most of the work of coming up with the difficult idea to change the name, you're responsible for the easy part of deciding on what that name will be. I'll be expecting it by 2011. Thanks.

Back to the burger. Nice and rare, American cheese, lettuce and tomato. And barbecue sauce! Yeah, I threw a curveball in there today. And it was a pretty delicious one. If you've never substituted BBQ sauce for ketchup, give it a try sometime. It may rock your world.

Now I'm off to set up a webcam since someone is obviously sabotaging my precious automobile.

-Jon

That Was a Long Time

Wow, I haven't had a burger in a long time. Part of it might be due to the lack of grilling weather. Part of it might be due to my newfound love of burritos. And part of it is probably due to the fact that I am too lazy during the winter to try to find new places to go because I want to hibernate instead. But now I've finally gotten a chance to remedy this sad situation.

And of course the burger that broke the drought was the Blackjack burger from R.F. O'Sullivan's. I think I've probably mentioned this particular burger before, so I won't bore you with the details. It was super-rare (maybe a little too rare), had some kick-ass Blackjack sauce, and had tomato and onion just like I ordered. Not like that other time where I ordered tomato and onion and got lettuce as well. Stupid lettuce. No one wants you around!

The burger was quite delicious, as usual. There were also a whole huge pile of fries. Way more than usual. I am pretty sure I ate at least 1.5 potatoes during this meal. Hopefully all those fries will do their job and soak up any alcohol I consume later.

On another note, I was playing Trainyard on Alex's phone and figured out the solution to one of the super-hard bonus puzzles. So basically I am the man. Deal with that.

-Jon

I'm a Friend of Harpoon

Kathryn and I went to the Greenfield Grille for a Harpoon-sponsored event featuring one of their special 100 Barrel Series beers, the Glacier Harvest '10 Wet Hop Ale. I didn't write anything down about it, so there won't be any new stuff over at Mmmm, beers! about it. Sorry dudes!

I did get a burger though! It was The Grille Burger, which claimed to be a hand-formed burger with cheese, lettuce, tomato and red onion. And there were cheese choices! I went with cheddar, just to mix things up a bit. There were also fries and cole slaw, but I didn't eat the slaw because cole slaw is gross. The burger looked pretty good though.

Sadly, it did not live up to its appearance. First of all, there was not actually any red onion. Don't promise me red onion and fail to deliver! It makes me very sad. Also, while the burger was not overcooked, the outside was a little burnt, and the whole thing was a little dry. Dry burgers = not so tasty burgers.

After we ate, we hung out for the Harpoon stuff, and got free keychain bottle openers! And then Kate won a t-shirt, and I won a fleece vest!! It was a pretty sweet event, all things considered. Too bad about the burger though.

-Jon

Another Burger Already

It looks like November is also off to a fast start for burgers. We'll see if it lasts.

After burgers for dinner last night, there was a rapid turnaround resulting in more burgers tonight! This time they were at Dad and Kelly's house, and there were different burger decorations. We had lettuce, tomato and sautéed onions for them. Sadly, I don't have any interesting stories or pictures to add, so this post is quickly heading for its conclusion.

The burgers were good, but they were overcooked by Dad's standards. It wasn't really a big deal though, because they were still juicy. And they were gigantic, which made them look silly on a small bun. Bill somehow managed to eat all of one piece of the bun before he had finished his burger, which I just don't understand. It's a mystery!

-Jon

Twins!

After such a promising start, it ended up that October had the fewest burgers consumed of all the months so far this year. It also looks like I'm going to be eating fewer burgers this year than last year. Does that mean this trend will continue until I don't eat any burgers and then start eating negative burgers? Only time will tell. I certainly hope not, as those negative burgers sound scary.

Chuck wanted to grill up some burgers, so that sounded like a delightful plan to me. I added my extensive talents to the mix and chopped up a couple onions and tomatoes while he sautéed some mushrooms and got bacon in the microwave. The end result was this:

It's like a burger and its clone! I tried out my developing theory that putting all the toppings underneath the burger makes the whole thing easier to eat, so there are 3 slices of bacon at the bottom, with tomato slices, onions and mushrooms on top of that base. I think that I had fewer escaped toppings with this method, so more research is going to be needed for confirmation. Also, I need to account for variables such as burger juiciness and bun type. I guess I'm going to have to eat a lot more burgers in the future.

Oh, and they came out delicious.

-Jon

It's Like a Time Warp

But not like that really weird song from whatever movie it was in that some group of seniors did a wacky dance to in one of the Senior Shows, possibly '06. Yeah, that was a strange opening to this post.

Kathryn and I went back to the Gill Tavern, much as I stated I would do given the opportunity. Unfortunately, we were unable to get a table this time. However, we were able to sit at the bar, which means we didn't drive the whole 15 minutes to get there for nothing. Sitting at the bar has the added advantage of letting us talk to the cook/chef, which possibly got us our food faster. I am not sure if there is a difference between a cook and a chef, but I bet there is and I bet it's related to those awesome hats the Swedish Chef wears.

I obviously went with the burger again, but this time I got bacon on it in addition to my cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. I also got more Pied pIPA, even though my glass clearly says "Farmer Brown" on it. See? I made a point of turning the pint glass so that you could see the false advertising.

This time I made sure to let the meat juice soak into the bun before I started eating it, and it made all the difference. The burger was cooked nicely again, although Kathryn noticed that it wasn't perfectly pink like last time. It was still pretty pink, and it was nice and juicy, which is all that really matters. That's the real reason I don't like well-done burgers: they are just way too dry. Well, that and they taste like charcoal mixed with feet.

There was no apple crisp this time, so we passed on dessert and then went home so I could drink my nice bottle of Lefty's Irish-Style Stout while listening to the calming snores of two sleepy pugs. What a life.

-Jon

I Am a Pig

After last night's rehearsal dinner, where I may have spent a good deal of my time drinking too much white wine, we went back to the hotel for a nice little gathering. Well, not so much little as "too big for hotel security's liking." It was also a roaming party whose location moved across a few different rooms. So the end result was that maybe I had a couple extra cocktails over the amount I should have had.

And the end result of that is that I was not really in the mood for breakfast during the 7-10am window that the hotel had its complimentary continental breakfast. But I was in the mood for breakfast at noon. Unfortunately, I did not have a car and I did not have any idea where to go. Cue Melissa! Melissa had both a car and a phone that let me shake it until it told me places to eat in the immediate area. And then somehow I messed that up by picking a place and then forgetting what I had picked, which meant that even though it was my choice, breakfast was a surprise to me.

We went to a place called Raff's, and I got the grilled meatloaf special. Yup, apparently meatloaf is an appropriate breakfast food. Hey, it worked for me.

Now, I told you that story so I could tell you this one, since that first part isn't burger related at all. You would think that a big meatloaf breakfast would be enough until the wedding, but nope. About 2 hours later, it was time for lunch. This time, I was ready for a burger. Kathryn didn't care where we went as long as she didn't have to drive, so I decided to go to a restaurant we had passed that morning called Archie's Place.

Sadly, my phone was being disagreeable and had not maintained its charge, so I couldn't take a picture of the giant burger that I ordered. I got the Chili Cheeseburger, which obviously had chili and shredded cheese on top of the huge burger. There was also lettuce, tomato and onion, presumably because there needed to be some kind of vegetable to go along with the absurd amount of meat.

The burger was good, but not great. I am not sure how it happened, but the inside of the burger was cooked perfectly medium rare, and the outside was burnt a little. That's just weird. Other than that, the rest of the meal was good. This place also gave me a giant pile of fries, and they were pretty good. Just far too numerous. On the downside, our waitress kind of sucked. Chances are that if you don't really like people, a customer service-related job is probably not the one for you.

Now it's time to get ready for the actual wedding, where I will presumably eat another giant meal. Congratulations, Steve and Maura!

-Jon

A Fun Time in the Rain

With Steve and Maura's rehearsal dinner scheduled for Friday night, it was time to head out east to get ourselves situated at the world's most hidden Comfort Suites. Since Kathryn was working, I rode up with Beth, Mike and Jimmy in what can only be described as "The Biggest Mistake Beth Has Ever Made." I don't think that she will ever be willing to drive the 3 of us anywhere in the near future. Especially not on a long trip in the rain.

Some time around Worcester, we needed to stop so that Mike could pee, Beth could get coffee and Jimmy could throw up in the parking lot at Barnes & Noble. And I got a hot chocolate, because I didn't want to get left out. In case you were wondering, the Barnes & Noble in Random Shopping Plaza, Worcester looks a lot nicer than the one near the Holyoke Mall. You know, minus the vomit in the parking lot.

As we were leaving, Mike and I noticed that there was a Five Guys in roughly the same plaza, so we stopped there (since it's supposed to be pretty good) instead of going to McDonald's (since it's gross). I was glad, because I was super hungry and also have been told on numerous occasions that I need to go there. Well, this trip fixed both of those issues.

The first thing I thought when I walked in was that this place is a lot like In-N-Out Burger. That's probably because they have a similar ordering system and a whole lot of red around the place. I decided to get the Bacon Cheeseburger, since you have to go all out on your first trip to a new place. I also wanted to get a good idea of how the burger itself is, so I only got tomato, grilled onions and jalapeños for toppings. They have a whole bunch of other toppings as well, but I didn't want to overdo things.

Pleasant surprise number 1: the burgers are automatically double cheeseburgers. I was not expecting that. Pleasant surprise number 2: these things come with an incredibly large amount of cheese. There was cheese everywhere!! Pleasant surprise number 3: the jalapeños are the bright green fresh ones, not the olive green jarred ones. That's some good stuff right there.

The burger was great! I am glad there is another Five Guys fairly close by so that I can go again and try some crazy new burger combination. They also give you way more fries than any normal person needs to try to eat in one sitting. I didn't find the fries to be that delicious though, so having 3 servings worth of them wasn't a major selling point with me. I'll stick to just the giant burger next time.

-Jon

Better Luck This Time

After our last attempt to visit the Gill Tavern failed miserably and resulted in my cheese-less cheeseburger, Kathryn and I decided to give it another go. This time was much more successful, and resulted not only in a tasty burger, but also a delicious new beer. It's win-win!

The Gill Tavern is super tiny, so it's probably a good idea to call ahead or go on a non-popular dinner night like Wednesday. That way you might actually get a table. Kathryn told me that it used to be a general store long ago, so it looks like a little house. Except that it's a house with a giant kitchen and a bar. So it's like a Portuguese house.

I decided to get the Grilled Local Beef Burger, with cheddar cheese. Luckily, it actually came with cheese, so I won't have to flip out. See? Clearly there is cheese here.

There's also lettuce, tomato and onion. And some kind of weird roll. The roll wasn't great, but the rest of the burger was delicious. Actually, the roll almost ruined things for me until the juice from the burger soaked into it. Then it became pretty good. The burger was also cooked nicely, with a lovely pink color. There were also delicious fries, although they called them potato wedges. And they claimed they were roasted, so I guess they weren't technically fries. It doesn't matter; the point is, the burger and "potato wedges" were both great.

Then we had apple crisp for dessert. It was also pretty good. Overall, the Gill Tavern is a place I would visit again. If I can get a table.

-Jon

Another One Bites the Dust?

As we are rapidly approaching Steve and Maura's wedding, the time had come for that ever-present male ritual of the bachelor party. For this one, the plan was to go down to Foxwoods (which actually ended up changing to going down to Mohegan Sun, which is ok because they are really close to each other). And once we got down there, it was very clearly time for dinner, because by the time we got to Mohegan Sun, my entire day's food consumption was 1 plum and 4 beers. You can tell this is the beginning of an epic night.

But you don't get to read about it, because if you aren't part of the bachelor party, then the events of the bachelor party technically never happened. Or if you're Steve's cousin, Jimmy, who may have blacked out in which case he really doesn't know what happened.

We had dinner at Margaritaville because that's where Steve wanted to go, and he was in charge of the decision making. Remembering my last trip to a Margaritaville (which was in Las Vegas), I knew NOT to get the Cheeseburger in Paradise because I would only be disappointed. Instead, I decided on the Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger. Actually, a lot of us decided on that one. It was easily the most popular meal choice.

And it was delightful! That was some good BBQ sauce, and there was quite a bit of bacon. And, probably most importantly, it was actually medium rare. Perfectly cooked, I would say. And they also have good fries.

After dinner, I lost some money playing various games, and then sat in the racebook yelling at horses and drinking for free. I would say that it was a good night.

-Jon

Home Cooking Is the Solution

The solution to what? To not having the cheese left off your burger. Because that is truly an almost unforgivable offense. Sort of like being a Jets fan.

It was burger night over at Mom and Chuck's, and they were burgers hand-made out of ground beef. That's generally going to give you the best burger, although I think they need to be seasoned a little more before they hit the grill. I put a little bit of garlic salt on them, but it wasn't quite enough. I'll be tweaking my seasoning attempts whenever people aren't paying attention over there, which is frequently.

The burgers came out nicely, with a lovely pink hue. And, far more importantly, mine had cheese on it! And also onions and tomatoes. But the main focus is the cheese. This blog could have been more appropriately titled Mmmm, cheeseburgers, but that was too long. We also had tater tots like it was middle school, fries, salad and zucchini. One of those things definitely does not fit in with the rest of the meal.

For the humourous part of this story, Odin had to spend the meal outside on the deck being sad because he doesn't know how to behave himself around Patches. He's like Jojo the Indian circus boy with a pretty new pet. And Chloe spent part of it sitting on the single step up into the kitchen, and crying because apparently it was too high for her to climb down. Pugs: nature's joke.

-Jon

Seriously?

Since we couldn't go to the restaurant we planned on going to for dinner because apparently having 7 tables isn't enough on a Friday night, Kathryn and I went to Hope and Olive instead, already knowing that they have good food. And also knowing that they have a good selection of beers on tap, which meant that I could try something new. There was plenty of time to savor a new beer too, because this place was also packed. However, they have a more normal number of tables, so the wait was only 30 minutes instead of an hour and 45 minutes.

I had intended on eating something different, but eventually I ended up going with the burger because it's been a while since I've had one. Tonight I chose cheddar cheese, tomato, onion and avocado as my toppings. That doesn't seem like an especially complicated burger, so at no point in time did I expect them to screw it up.

Boy, was I wrong.

They forgot the cheese. They. Forgot. The. Cheese! That's literally the most important part of a cheeseburger!! I've eaten burgers that were burger, cheese, bun and that's it, and they've been enjoyable. The cheese is key. Do you see any cheese here?

No. No cheese. Also, and this is a distant second in things to complain about, the burger was cooked right but somehow still really dry. I am not sure how a burger can be medium rare and also be dry, but they pulled it off. That's not nearly as disappointing as the missing cheese thing though.

On the plus side, the fries at this place are fantastic, and you get approximately 14 lbs of them. Avocado is also a delicious addition to a burger. I thought I had said that before, but it wasn't a tag yet so I can't go back and figure out whether or not it's the case. Well, it's not so much "can't" as "won't," but I'm not going to split hairs here. Oh, and they have good pickles. Sadly, they only give you 3 little slices instead of the number I want, which is like 25.

I won't write Hope and Olive off completely, since I have had a fantastic burger there before. I am going to put them on notice though. Another incident like tonight, and they are off the dinner rotation. That's a pretty serious threat coming from a guy without a full-time job, let me tell you.

-Jon

A Missed Opportunity

I'll be kicking myself for this later.

Also, this will not be a long story.

We had burgers and chouriça for dinner at Dad and Kelly's tonight, and I didn't think of making a chouriça burger until after I had already eaten. That would have been a crazy burger! It would have also been huge, which people seem to like nowadays in their burgers. I was somewhere (maybe HCC?) and they had a poster showing the average size of a meal at a restaurant next to what would actually be considered a serving size, and the "real" serving size was like half of what you'd expect. That is probably not good for the health of America. It could also explain why I'm fat.

Sadly, the chouriça burger will have to wait until some mysterious future date. Someone will probably have to remind me about this idea next time it becomes an option, because there is a 99.99% chance that I'm going to forget. Kind of like I continually forget to take pictures of my burgers. Tonight's burger was good though. It deserved a picture just because it was cooked nicely. I really need to start writing myself little notes, since apparently I am already suffering from the symptoms of old age.

What was I saying?

-Jon

Kim's Potential New Career?

Since lots of people were going to be around for Steve and Maura's Jack & Jill party Friday night, Jen scheduled a cookout for this afternoon. Actually, I was informed that Kim was actually the "organizer," except that she didn't plan the menu, or bring the beer, or do the cooking. Perhaps her idea to become an event planner should be put on hold temporarily.

Also, I won 3 raffle prizes at the Jack & Jill, bringing my total raffle prizes won lifetime to 4. The best prize was probably the grill plus friends set, which had a grill, grill tools, 22 spices, some towels, 2 cookbooks and possibly a couple other things that I forgot. I also won 2 beer-themed prizes. Score.

Now on to the cookout. I went with another triple-cheese burger, but I'm not sure which 3 cheeses it was this time. I am sure of American and provolone, but the 3rd one is a mystery. Last time it was Swiss cheese, but I don't think it was this time. My money is on cheddar. There was also tomato, which I was forced to cut using a paring knife. Have you ever tried cutting a tomato with a paring knife instead of something useful? I don't recommend it. Those slices were horribly uneven. I am actually a little embarrassed.

At least the burger was good. It seems that the more cheese options you have, the better the burger. I am pretty sure that there has to be a cap somewhere, because eventually there's going to be too much cheese. However, the limit is definitely not 3. I am excited to try the rarely mentioned quadruple-cheese burger in the near future.

Also, I was peer pressured into registering the name for Mmmm, Beers. You may be wondering why it's Mmmm, Beers and not Mmmm, Beer. Well, you can ask the douchebag who already took Mmmm, Beer and did absolutely nothing with it. Jerk. There's no beer-related content yet (as of this posting), but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Stay tuned for all sorts of drunken rambling. You'll probably want to bookmark it now.

-Jon