We went out to lunch with Chris because he is not generally home and lunch seemed like a good way to acknowledge his presence. Despite my better judgment, we decided to go to Red Robin. Apparently my family loves that place. As previously promised, I ordered the Banzai Burger to test my new theory of "Meat and Fruit is not that bad." Admittedly, the theory's name could use some work. Give me a break though, as I am not really trying that hard.
The burger has some kind of teriyaki sauce along with slices of pineapple, which means it's like a shish-kebab in burger form. There is also lettuce, tomato and onion, because that seems to be the required topping for all of their burgers. Except for that one with mushrooms, because that would just be weird. I was surprised by how good it was. I probably shouldn't have been after trying that burger at James and Nicole's, but I was still skeptical. Well, call me a convert.
That burger was just the kickoff to a wild and crazy evening. After lunch, I packed up my stuff and got ready to head to the MGM at Foxwoods for the Beach Boys concert with Kathryn, Mom and Chuck. I think that would have been the last thing to ever occur 10+ years ago, but now I am all grown up so it's cool. For some reason, Google Maps decided that the best way to get there would be to go on Route 2, then get off of Route 2 for a little bit, and then immediately get back on Route 2. Jerks. We did end up getting to the hotel easily after that, with no major problems other than my newfound lack of respect for Google.
Alright, check into the hotel, change clothes and then off to MGM, right? Wrong! The hotel shuttle was actually a limo, so we got the last 4 spots and got ready to leave. The limo made it about 30 yards, to the end of the driveway, and then just died. Alright, new limo, and attempt 2. This time we actually made it. Hooray! Let's kill some time before the show.
Ok, so it turns out that Mom had never been to a casino before. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to have her first experience be at the largest casino in the country. She looked like a country bumpkin, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I think she managed to survive mostly unscathed, only losing a couple bucks in the penny slots. How did I do? Hold on to that thought.
We decided to grab a snack before the show, so we went to the mini food court and ordered a couple slices of pizza. Since Foxwoods is the largest casino in the country, I am going to hand out some other awards for extremes. This pizza wins the "Greasiest Pizza Ever" award. It soaked right through the plate, and it was a plastic plate!! That may be an exaggeration, but only slightly. I actually feel a little sick just thinking about it.
After that, it was time for the show. It was really good, and it was packed. There were a couple funny people there. First was the super-excited lady in front of us who chair-danced for practically the entire show. Second is the girl was up in the front row who clearly loves attention because she kept dancing her way up to the stage and being gently escorted back to her seat. Finally, Mr No-Smile, who looked like that particular concert was the last place he wanted to be. I have never seen someone more miserable at their current location, and I teach math!!
After the show, we walked over to the actual Foxwoods building and played some games. I wasn't really planning on gambling, but the flashy lights on the slot machines drew me in. I played some game about smelly food called "Stinkin' Rich" or "Filthy Rich" or something along those lines because it's Kathryn's favorite. I didn't do very well. Stupid game. At that point I thought I was done, but I found a penny slot game called "Helen of Troy" and decided to give it one more go. After a few minutes, I got bored and moved to the next machine, which was "Golden Goose." You got bonuses for geese showing up or for getting gold eggs. This game was short-lived because every time a goose showed up, the game made an annoying honking sound. That can only go on for so long before I get fed up. Move another chair over. This game was called "Pompeii" and sucked donkey balls. I think I played for 3 minutes.
Alright, last chance Foxwoods. I'll give "Golden Gong" a try, because it almost sounds dirty. First spin, I get a couple gongs on the screen which are apparently good. The machine starts making crazy gong sounds, and I win like $4. That's actually a lot if you consider that it was a penny machine. Also, the second award of the night goes to this machine for "Loudest Slot Machine." Everything it did attracted attention from the people around me! I played for a while, got some more gongs, got some old Chinese guys on the screen which apparently double your prizes, you know how it goes. After a while, I start getting bored again and tell the game that I'm leaving if I don't start getting more gongs. Within 5 spins, I get a spin with 5 gongs. Bam, $200. I like it. I also get bonus spins for having multiple gongs and win another $70 or so. All in all, I walked in with $41 and walked out with $292.69. Hooray!!
I was definitely done at that point, as was everyone else, so we went back to our hotel. The final award of the night goes to our hotel for "Scariest Toilet." Every single time I flushed it, it was so loud that I thought I had broken something or possibly opened up a doorway to another dimension. That's just unnecessary.
It was a good day.
-Jon
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