I'm Very Sorry

I have been very bad at keeping this updated, but luckily I've only had 3 burgers since the last post. Since Chris actually has been keeping the hits rolling in on this site, I feel obligated to make a new attempt at telling my delicious burger stories. Here are the 3 I missed, although some of the details may be lacking.

First up is a delicious burger from the day after the giant snowstorm when most of the power was out. Along with the phones, which was even more annoying. Since Bill had no power, and had no way to contact me, he drove up here optimistically thinking that he might be able to watch football up here. Unfortunately, that was not the case, but we were able to finally find a place that had food available. This was very convenient, since my power had been out since 2am, and that meant that everything perishable in the refrigerator had perished.

Brick Wall Burger was serving a limited menu (burgers, fries, cole slaw), but that was just fine with us. I can't remember exactly what I went with, but it clearly contained pepperjack cheese, tomato and red onion. So I guess I do remember it, just not the sauce I chose. These burgers are no joke.

That's Bill's red sweatshirt in the background. You may be wondering why there is only one burger on the table. Funny story... true story... Bill ordered the same burger as I did, but since all the ordering and receipts were being done by hand, there was a mixup between the girl who took our orders and the guy who cooked the food, resulting in only one burger showing up at first. That was quickly rectified, and we both got to enjoy a delicious meal. Sadly, I forgot to order the right kind of cole slaw, so mine just sat there being gross instead of getting eaten.

A couple of weeks later, Bill was working in Adams or North Adams (who cares, it's Berkshire County), so he came over here when he was done with his cheese shenanigans and requested another trip to BWB. Since Kate and I aren't too picky about where we go, that was just fine with us.

This time I remembered to get the spicy slaw, which has some kind of spicy dressing on it instead of mayonnaise, which is gross. I believe that has been addressed before. I also mixed things up by going with BBQ sauce and bacon along with a changeup in the cheese department (it appears to be American cheese).

I didn't get any fries this time, since Kate was getting fries and she never finishes hers. I'd rather steal fries than let them go to waste. Both of these burgers were quite tasty, although the second one was cooked a little bit more than it needed to be. It also didn't get the benefit of the doubt by being potentially the only thing I was going to be eating that day.

We'll wrap things up by heading around the corner to The People's Pint. I don't mean that in a literal sense though, because it would have been weird to leave one restaurant after a filling meal and sit down for another. This happened about 3 weeks after the last story.

Kate and I went out for a dinner because we had been a bit lax in our grocery shopping and both of us were feeling a little lazy. We both ended up choosing The Squealer for our meal, which is a burger made with ground beef and ground bacon. The picture kind of sucks because the People's Pint is super dark and my phone's camera is from a world where making a camera without a flash is acceptable. Stupid Apple...

I was expecting this burger to be more delicious because of the bacon, but I couldn't really taste the bacony goodness. They also don't put tomato on their burgers, which makes me sad. Get some damn tomatoes!! Who's running this restaurant, Melissa? Ridiculous. Also it was overcooked, which reduced its juiciness. Never dry out a burger. Don't do it. On a completely different note, I tried a new beer during this meal, and I believe you can see the snifter in the top left of the photo.

Hopefully this will mark a return to the days of more timely burger posts. I will have to make a better effort to write the posts closer to the actual burger eating. We'll see what we can for for 2012.

-Jon

Now This Was a Burger

After the atrocity that presented itself as my last burger, there was little doubt that a burger was going to be my meal of choice when we went to Amherst Brewing Company. But there were a whole bunch of choices, so I wasn't sure which one to go with. I finally settled on the Classic Burger, Cajun Style. We also got some huge ass nachos (with chili) and some stuffed mushrooms.

Between Melissa, Bill, Kathryn and myself, we got a bison burger, a normal burger, a turkey burger, and pulled pork. Consume all the animals!! I think that's Melissa's burger in the background below as a matter of fact. I bet mine was better.

The Cajun burger was covered with Cajun spices (I have had Cajun spices on multiple occasions, but I still don't know what they are exactly), and then topped with blue cheese and bacon along with some tomato and onion. It was a fairly formidable looking meal.

It also came with some Brewhouse fries and a little pickle. This burger was fantastic! I would rank it up in the tiers with an R.F. O'Sullivan burger, which it was actually very similar to (the Black & Bleu Burger).

If you are ever in Amherst, you should make a trip over to the new and improved ABC. All our food was delicious, and they have several beers (both their own and "guest" beers) of highly drinkable natures. It's win-win!

-Jon

Fool Me Once, Shame On You...

Fool me twice, I shall blog about it!

After getting up at 4am, driving down to Ludlow to transport the pugs to Uncle Bill's for the weekend, riding down to the airport and flying to Chicago, I was ready for lunch at like 10am. There are a whole lot of restaurant options at O'Hare, but we settled on Chili's due to its proximity to the gate for our next flight. And I wanted a burger!

If only I had read the fine tales spun by the author of Mmmm, burgers, I could have avoided a disappointing breakfast burger. As it turns out, this was not the first time I've had a burger at a Chili's in an airport.

It's pretty sad that not even I read my own posts. No wonder I don't get more traffic.

So not only was there the warning sign from myself, there was another, more current warning sign when Melissa ordered her burger and the waitress did not ask her how she wanted it cooked. That's a major red flag right there, and if I hadn't been hopped up on Dramamine, I probably would have had a backup meal picked. Unfortunately, I panicked and ended up sticking with the Avocado Burger because hey, avocado. It looks kind of like this, except for some reason all the toppings had fallen off. That's bush league.

Yeah, this is the first Mmmm, burgers photo from my iPhone, so if it looks particularly rectangular, that's why.

This burger was very meh. It was definitely cooked way past where I like it, and all the flavor from the meat seemed to have cooked away. The avocado was good, but not good enough to save the whole thing.

Fries were good though.

If we are ever at an airport again, don't let me get a burger at Chili's!!!

Seriously. That's what friends are for.

-Jon

I Actually Eat a Burger!

Much like a child, Mmmm, burgers has grown up and no longer needs me. Or I just don't eat as many burgers. Part of that is because I am cheap and like to eat sandwiches at home, and part of it is because I have branched out and tried new and exciting foods. Mostly it's the cheap thing though. The good news is that I continue to enjoy new beers and occasionally bitch about things, so you can still get your fill of my nonsense. Seriously, you can click those links right now and they'll open up in new windows so you won't miss out on this epic burger.

I was back home for some reason, so Dad and I (and Evan and Alec) went out to lunch at the 99 in order to satiate my craving for a cheeseburger. It was like infinity degrees out, so grilling was not an option. There is no temperature at which it's too cold to grill, but at some point when it's hot, standing in front of an open flame just isn't worth it. Plus the 99 is air conditioned.

After a brief decision making process, I ended up with the All Star Steakburger. FYI - the 99 has really cut back on their burger options. Western Massachusetts really needs a dedicated burger joint with dozens of burger choices. Sort of like what I envisioned Burger Bros (trademark pending) to be before I realized just how much absurd bullshit goes into owning and operating a business, particularly a food-based one. I think it would probably take about 30 years off my life, which has already been cut short from 5 years of teaching middle school. I've really gotten sidetracked here.

Anyways, the All Star Steakburger is just ridiculous. This thing has got cheese, bacon (why do restaurants place the bacon crisscrossed on top of the burger?!?), caramelized onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and some kind of "special sauce" that I skipped. I would say that 99.9% of the time, special sauce is ketchup, mayo and maybe something random like A1. Get that garbage off my burger. Oh, and did I mention the burger itself is like 3/4" thick?

It comes in a little Boston Red Sox wrapper in order to try to contain this behemoth. Also, notice that stupid little strip of bacon poking out on the right? If you have a 4" diameter sandwich and a 6" piece of bacon, it's just not going to work. Time to come up with a new bacon plan, restaurants! Like maybe cutting the bacon strips and melting the cheese over them to keep them from escaping! I know, I'm a visionary. At least when it comes to burgers.

This burger was quite delicious, even accounting for the fact that all 4 of our burgers were cooked one stage past what we ordered. Dad's rare burger was medium rare at best, my medium rare was medium, bordering on medium well, etc. At least it was juicy, which can save even an overcooked burger.

I would absolutely eat this burger again. Although, at the rate I've been eating burgers lately, that probably won't be until late 2012. And by that time, it's almost a guarantee that they'll have changed their menus again.

-Jon

So Here's the Thing...

You might be occasionally coming here and wondering how I could go this long without having a cheeseburger and still call myself a cheeseburger connoisseur. Well, I have actually had quite a few burgers.

"What?!?" you're probably asking. "That's outrageous!!!" Yeah, I guess it might be, but I came to an important decision a couple of weeks ago.

I'm only going to be writing about burgers I eat when I go out. Most of the time when I talk about grilled burgers at Mom & Chuck's or Dad & Kelly's, it's the same old story. That's not very exciting to read. So I'm not going to write about it anymore.

I will still be trying to photograph and document all restaurant burgers though, so don't you worry about that. So, various establishments in the greater Pioneer Valley area... consider yourself warned!

-Jon

That Has to Be a Record

After an evening of new beers and a delicious sandwich at Parish Cafe, obviously Saturday night had to be a burger night at R.F. O'Sullivan. And after an afternoon of drinking mojitos, it was going to be a burger night without its usual accompanying Newcastle. That's probably a good thing, as the last time I had one there, it was a bit past its prime. Just a Sprite for me, thanks.

I broke with the normal tradition of the top notch Blackjack Burger by going with its closest competitor, the JD Burger. I think that makes 2 straight trips without the Blackjack, so I suppose that next time I'll have to get it. I was just in the mood for something with barbecue sauce, and it seemed like the JD was the only one that had it.

Um, I also forgot to take a picture. Well, not really. I remembered after I picked it up, at which point it was too late. Once you get one of these beasts in your hand, putting it down almost always results in disaster. Sorry about that. I know how much you look forward to my awesome photography.

On the plus side, I ordered it with tomato and onion but no lettuce, and it came with tomato and onion but no lettuce! It was also a perfect medium rare. Obviously they have the A-Team working on Saturday night. I would say my only issue was that part of the burger had lots of delicious BBQ sauce, but one section was sauceless. I need my sauce!!

And speaking of Saturday nights, this had to be the emptiest I've ever seen this place on the weekend. I think the only time it was more deserted was that time Bill and I went after I picked him up at the airport, and we arrived at 11am that day. Having a zero wait time on a Saturday night was just weird. I think we were in and out of there in 50 minutes. Good times.

-Jon

So, Moving Kind of Sucks

I don't dislike the idea of moving. I hate the actual process of having to pack things, transport them, and then unpack them. At this point I am mostly moved. Although I suppose if you look at both my old residence and new residence you might decide that I am not actually moved, but rather am living in 2 places at once. And that's valid. It turns out that I have an awful lot of stuff.

At any rate, I was back in Ludlow on Tuesday in an attempt to transport more of my things, specifically the kitchen related ones. And a load of laundry. It's always good to have clean clothes. I also got a chance to stop by Dad and Kelly's for dinner, which just happened to be cheeseburgers!

I don't know if there was a sale on grinder rolls or if there was a shortage of hamburger rolls, but either way, we had the burgers cut in half on grinder rolls. It was kind of cool, and it was actually easier to eat them without the burger trying to slide out the back of the bun. Kelly might be on to something there.

I am supposed to be going to Boston this weekend, so perhaps more burger-related shenanigans will soon follow.

-Jon

The Elm City Brewing Company

Did you know that it's a shorter trip to Keene, NH than it is to go back to Ludlow? That's weird to me.

And obviously I told you that little piece of info to set up this story. Kate and I went to check out the Elm City Brewing Company up in Keene because it has beer and also a restaurant. Talk about a winning combination! Well, as long as both are good. If you want to know about the beers, you need to go somewhere else. But if you want to know about the burger, then read on!

They had an extensive menu, but I finally settled on the BBQ & Bacon Cheeseburger (at least I think that's what it was called... I forgot to write it down). It had bacon, obviously, and cheddar cheese along with their peach BBQ sauce. And it came with lettuce, tomato and onion and a pile of fries. PS - I skipped the lettuce, because lettuce is lame. It was a pretty large burger, and made the roll look undersized.

I believe those fries are known as steak fries, but it doesn't matter because they weren't that great. On the other hand, the burger was quite good. The peach added a nicely surprising sweetness to the burger, and the whole thing was ridiculously juicy. I made a giant mess eating it, which some people say is the mark of a good meal.

Both of us enjoyed our meals, so we'll probably go back there again.

-Jon

Nothing Too Fancy

I feel like I've written this post before. So I'll keep it short and sweet. And I'm going to be lazy and combine 2 different burger events into a single post.

Burger #1 was a bacon cheeseburger grilled by Chuck with the bacon under the cheese in order to keep it from escaping. There were also some sauteed mushrooms and onions (as per usual) and BBQ sauce as a condiment. Throw that together with a side of baked beans and you've got yourself a good meal.

Burger #2 was one of those pre-made frozen burgers as Sam and Ashleigh's cookout. Usually those burgers are difficult to cook correctly, so the key is in the available toppings. I decided to do with avocado (for deliciousness and health purposes), ketchup (to keep things from getting dry) and that buffalo chicken dip that people make for cookouts (because I figured it would be good). Seriously, how delicious is buffalo chicken dip? Pretty delicious if you ask me, which you didn't. I would eat that as a meal, which would probably end up going badly.

Both burgers were good. Next time you're at a cookout, give the buffalo chicken dip a chance on your burger. It will be delightful!

-Jon

Happy Father's Day. . . One More Time

I apparently already have 2 posts with Happy Father's Day in the title. It would seem that burgers are now the official sponsor of this holiday.

As a special treat for Dad, Matt volunteered me to cook the burgers for Father's Day. Now, you may know that I have a special hatred for grilling because every time I try to grill something on my grill, it gets cooked unevenly, or overcooked, or undercooked (as in still raw in places). I was under the impression that this was because I was not really a man since men can grill. Turns out it was just that my grill hates performing its job.

Using Dad and Kelly's grill, I was able to pull off an amazing feat of deliciousness. My trick? Preseasoning the meat with a little garlic salt and Montreal steak seasoning, and then to stuff cheese inside the burgers. I ended up with 4 cheese combo choices: American inside and on top, American inside with provolone on top, provolone inside and on top and obviously provolone inside with American on top. Is this my best idea ever? Probably.

And with a working grill, everyone's burgers came out cooked correctly. Even Kelly's, which is impressive since she eats hers well done to the point where I figured that leaving it on the grill any longer would be a fire hazard. It was not, and she enjoyed it, somehow...

Alright grilling, it's on now! You're attempts to undermine me with a shoddy performing piece of equipment have failed! Much meat shall be eaten to atone for your crimes!

-Jon

A New Burger Place Around the Corner!

This could be an exciting development if these burgers are of any high quality. You'll have to read on to find out. Or skip to the end.

There are a lot of quality places that are within a mile of Kate's house, including a packie, a great burrito place, a Subway, a DD, a place that is supposed to have delicious breakfast pastries, an "artisan" pizza place... the list is pretty long. I suppose the main idea here is that Brick Wall Burger had to have an impressive performance to make it into the rotation of places that we're going to dine at.

The first thing I noticed was the that the name is very accurate: there is exactly 1 brick wall in the interior of the restaurant. They offer about 6-8 already constructed burgers, or you can design your own. I opted for my own construction, and went with pepperjack cheese, chili garlic sauce, onions, tomato and avocado. All burgers come with cole slaw or spicy cole slaw, so I figured I might as well give the spicy one a try. I also got an order of fries, which I would come to regret.

This place has got some hefty burgers! I'm not sure if you can tell from the picture, but this thing is a beast. It's also cooked to a perfect medium rare, which makes a big difference in burger enjoyability.

Also, it was delicious! It was nice and juicy, making a mess of my plate and hands, and I enjoyed every minute of it. The spicy cole slaw was also good, and it might be the first time I have eaten cole slaw. Usually cole slaw looks all mayonnaisey and gross, but this wasn't. The fries were also good. The only issue was that there was just way too much food for me. Kate and I decided that next time we go, only one of us will get fries. Otherwise we'll be running the risk of exploding.

Long story short? Brick Wall Burger is a great burger place. Kate, Sadie, John and myself all had a delicious lunch with our four different choices. That's a good showing.

-Jon

Happy Memorial Day

Well, technically Happy Day Before Memorial Day. That just doesn't have the same ring to it though.

And what shows your patriotism better than eating a cheeseburger? Probably a lot of things, but I chose to express myself through the consumption of a pair of burgers. Actually they were twins, and will be described in all their glory momentarily.

Chris and Lindsay were around for the weekend, and Kate and the pugs were invited as well, so there was a whole lot of wackiness going on. Specifically as a result of Odin and Patches. Those two are crazy! Odin will probably be exhausted for the next 48 hours. The menu was burgers and hot dogs, along with Bill's baked beans, some pasta salad and I believe regular salad, although there wasn't nearly enough room on my plate for everything. I decided to focus on burgers and beans.

My burgers were both made with onions inside, and topped with bacon under cheddar and American cheese and served on a bun with sauteed mushrooms and onions. That is a hefty burger, and I easily could have been more than satisfied with just one of them. I decided to eat 2 though, which meant that by the end, my stomach was approximately 40% larger than its normal size and if you had poked me with anything sharp, I would have flown around the room like a cartoon. Luckily that did not happen.

That was a nice day.

-Jon

I Used to Eat More Burgers...

I don't eat nearly enough of them these days.

But I did eat one today! And that is cause for celebration. Or at least cause for a post.

After a long day of being a PE substitute and telling pugs to stop barking at dogs/cats/people/birds/things-in-their-minds-that-aren't-really-there-but-they-bark-at-anyways, a burger seemed like just the thing for dinner. Especially after I saw them in the fridge and predicted that they would be cooked soon thereafter.

This one was cooked perfectly! It was pink like a salmon, and I think there might have been two slices of cheese. And there was bacon! And BBQ sauce. Oh man, I wish I was eating another one right now. There was also some fries on the side along with potato chips and some delicious cheddar and bacon dip. What a delightful dinner!

-Jon

In Which James Outdoes Himself

Long time readers of this fantastic blog may remember that James made some pretty elaborate burgers a couple years ago. Well, he was back at it this weekend in the sequel to those burgers.

I had a pretty rough day working at a track meet where we were threatened by a thunderstorm, resulting in a pretty lame 30-minute delay as required by law, followed by some sideways rain. However, that pales in comparison to the Tough Mudder that James, Jen, Adam and about 5000 other people decided to subject themselves to up at Mount Snow. I didn't hear all the details, but I know it involved 10 miles of running/jogging/dragging your mutilated body along, getting shocked, swimming in ice water, climbing several consecutive 12-foot high walls, and carrying logs. Those people are nuts.

And then, after all that, James cooked food for us. What a nice guy. Also, there was bacon. Seriously, who doesn't like bacon? I mean, aside from Lindsay...

Yeah, that's my burger. Check out the volume of bacon on this thing! I got my serving of bacon, and I also got Lindsay's bacon because she wasn't going to eat it. There's also a slice of tomato and some red onion under the burger and pepperjack cheese on top. Can't go wrong with that combination.

I think that these burgers were even more delicious than the last ones. However, that could be because I was slightly wasted last time and my taste buds were not at their peak functioning. Regardless, these burgers were fantastic, and some of the best I've had in recent memory.

-Jon

Bacon Makes Everything Better

I don't know how I forgot to write about this, but with the nice feature of being able to date posts whenever I feel like it, no one will ever know in the future that this was delayed by a few days.

Chuck had gotten some high-quality ground beef from... Arnold's maybe to make delicious burgers. I don't care what anyone says; getting fresh ground beef and making your own patties is always better than getting pre-made ones. Even those pre-made ones with all sorts of fancy things inside.

These ones came out quite delicious. And combined with the onions I sauteed, some bacon, and some raw onion slices, the burgers were so good that they didn't even need any condiments. Yup, I went for the rarely seen double-onion approach to my burger. I do not recommend that on a date, unless you are lucky enough to date someone without a working nose. Or someone who is super easygoing. Good luck with that!

-Jon

It's April's Theme!

This makes 2 consecutive burgers with food hidden inside the burger. Last time it was onions, and this time it was bacon. I frequently find that with a bacon cheeseburger, the bacon is very difficult to keep on top of the burger. Putting it inside the burger seems like the perfect solution.

After a cold day of track and field on Saturday, I turned in early in preparation for a much less cold day of volleyball in Cambridge today. And since Cambridge is right next to Somerville, it offered a nice opportunity to have a delicious cheeseburger for dinner with Alex and Erica. In a testament to the awesomeness of driving in the metro area, the place I was officiating was 2.5 miles from Alex and Erica's apartment, but it still took me about 20 minutes of travel time. At that pace, a guy could run the Boston Marathon before I could travel the same distance by car. Eastern Massachusetts is ridiculous.

In accordance with Erica's wishes, we went to R.F. O'Sullivan's for dinner, and I got something called the Bacon-ATTOR. I don't know why the last part was in all caps, and I definitely don't know why it needed two T's. As shown in the picture below, I got it with tomato and onion. Not shown in the picture is the fact that I actually only received tomato because my onions were on Erica's burger. Also not shown is that they forgot all of Alex's toppings. Clearly they had put in the bench players for the Sunday performance.

The good news is that the Bacon-ATTOR is delicious, especially with American cheese. I can safely put it on the recommended list of burgers, which is starting to get pretty long. Oh well. I would say that it's better to have too many good burgers than not enough.

-Jon

Inside the Burger?

Onions are a delicious topping for a cheeseburger, because onions are great. To make things even easier to eat, you can get the onions inside the ground beef so that they won't try to escape from the bun, as onions are frequently apt to do. They're very sneaky that way.

So obviously I told you that lovely onion info because that's what kind of burger I got to eat for dinner. Chuck also whipped up some of the now famous garlic mushrooms, along with some sauteed onions. Basically it was a heaping pile of the most aromatic foods you can get, turned into a delicious burger. It's also the last thing you should ever eat if you happen to be out on a first date. It would probably be ok after like 10 dates, because at that point you can generally stop trying to impress the other person. For the record, I stop trying on date #1. Isn't Kate lucky to have me?

That burger was quite delicious, and I think it was helped by the fact that it was accompanied by tater tots cooked to crispy perfection. And also salad, which made me feel like less of a fat slob. What a delightful meal.

-Jon

It's Because I'm Brave

Most people who have a bad food experience avoid that location like the plague, but not me. For instance, I might go right back within a month. And I'll go back again, because I'm just that kind of guy. By which I mean "stupid."

Oh well, so bet it.

We went out to dinner at Red Robin, which marks the first trip there of 2011. But probably not the last, although maybe it will be since Judie's is clearly higher rated by the family. At any rate, I obviously chose to eat a burger since it's a burger place and ordering anything else seems kind of silly. Like going to a non-classy bar and ordering wine. Or going to a regular bar and ordering wine. Knock it off, weirdo.

I decided on the A1 Peppercorn Burger because it seemed like I hadn't ever had it and also posted about it. It had some bacon, pepperjack cheese, tomatoes, onion "straws" and whatever A1 Peppercorn sauce is. I don't want to find out because it's probably something mayonnaise based and if I know there's mayo, I'll probably never be able to eat it again. And I might hold you personally responsible for ruining the fantasy world I've set up for myself in my mind. The burger didn't quite look like the picture, but it was pretty close. You can be the judge. The bun looks a little strange because it's an onion bun.

I am a fan of the onion bun. It's a different flavor, and I like it. Also the burger itself was pretty good. It was also ridiculously huge, and I foolishly consumed the entire thing. At least I was smart enough to leave some of the fries behind, so I didn't end up feeling like someone inflated my stomach like a cartoon with a helium tank. And thus far, I don't feel sick either. I'm thinking that was a one-time only event.

-Jon

Happy St. Patrick's Day (Road Race)

In my many years on this planet (or any planet really), I had never once been a part of the road race in Holyoke in any capacity. Well, I can now check off that drunken mess from my to-do list. If you are wondering, I did not run, unlike Maura and Jen, who are overachievers. Mostly because I'm lazy, but also because my foot is still screwed up. And it's a 10K, which is far too many K's for me. Sign me up for a 1K and we'll go from there.

They were selling food there, and since I was going to be drinking many beers throughout the course of the afternoon, I figured it might be a good idea to eat some of said food. One of the options was cheeseburgers, and, like some sort of lobotomy patient who doesn't have a working brain, I decided that this would be a good choice. It was not. I should have followed Steve's lead and gotten a sausage grinder. Those are much harder to screw up. But sadly I got a lame burger with the cheese not even melted on it and no topping options. Luckily I had a large complement of Bud Lights to soften the blow.

Now you might be wondering why there is no mention of these Bud Lights over at Mmmm, beers! After all, it is a beer. The reason is that there is no possible way you are going to convince me that Bud Light is delicious, and thus I would not be saying "mmmm" while drinking a Bud Light. Sadly, this means it, along with its brethren Coors Light, Miller Lite, et al, will not ever be featured on that prestigious site. Actually, that's not sad. Do you really want to read about that stuff? Don't answer that, because if the answer is yes, then I hate you.

Also, Melissa dumped a beer into my coat pocket because she is scared of police officers. Except for when she throws snowballs at them in downtown Springfield. That girl is a menace.

-Jon

Rye Bread?

I'm not sure what you're trying to pull here, Northampton Brewery, but I'll play your game. Burgers are usually supposed to go on buns, but if you want to to mix things up, I'll let it slide. However, if it's not working, I'll be calling you out on it. And then all 3 people who read this will know. Your move.

Dianna and Kate were going to the bulb show in Northampton and were also getting lunch first. Now, being a licensed hetero, I had pretty much zero interest in the bulb show. But I'm always down for an opportunity to go eat a cheeseburger! Especially at a brew pub, which will presumably offer me a chance at a new beer. And it did!!

We went to the Northampton Brewery, which is not on the main road and often gets overlooked by silly people like me. I believe that the last time I was there I got the Blackened Blue Burger, so this time I forced myself to mix things up with the Patty Melt. It's got Swiss cheese, onions and mushrooms, so in theory it must be delicious. It's also got Reuben dressing, but that kind of stuff is not for me. Oh, and it comes on marble rye bread.

Just in case you can't tell from the first picture, they did a magnificent job of cooking it correctly. Check out that pink center!

That's what a burger should look like. None of that well done crap.

Overall, it was pretty good, although the burger itself needed a little more flavor. Without the cheese and onions and mushrooms, it just tasted like boring old ground beef. Toss some pepper or salt on there before it hits the grill! The important thing is, the rye bread was a successful bread choice. Well played, Brewery. Also, their fries are delicious! In the sad news department, it turns out that just because the menu says "Irish Fare All Day," it doesn't mean that you can get the lamb stew all day. That really ruins your lunch plans if you're Kate.

But then we got ice cream, and everything was great.

-Jon

The Burger Triplets

Now, eating 3 burgers sounds like a lot, but they were sliders so it's not really as much as it would originally seem. Still probably more than I needed to eat though. I will have to skip a meal tomorrow.

Chuck got a bunch of mini-burgers (aka "sliders," although I am not sure I understand the name) to grill up tonight, so I signed on for 3 of them. I think a better idea would have been to have 2 of them, especially since I also ate an absurd amount of baked beans. Obviously that part of my brain that recognizes when my stomach is full was on break for dinner tonight.

There were also mini-buns, which made me feel sort of like a giant. And we had some sweet toppings, like garlic mushrooms, sauteed onions and cheese. There was BBQ sauce too, but somehow I failed to notice it until my third burger, at which point I threw it on there anyway. When you're going overboard, you might as well go all the way. Don't half-ass it.

The burgers were good, and I learned a valuable lesson: just because they're little, don't try to eat three of them. This isn't Man vs. Food.

-Jon

Reservations?

We don't take no stinkin' reservations!! That's actually the unofficial motto of Judie's, which meant that we had to wait quite a while for a table for 8. But eventually we did get a table and a delicious burger was soon to follow. And 2 new beers!

As a side note, I did another classic Jon parking job on that street in Amherst off the main street. And by classic I mean that I was at least a foot off the curb even though I had more than enough room to park correctly. That's just how I get down. Seriously, ask anyone.

Once we finally got our table, I was torn between the burger I got last time and the Cheddar, Onion & Bacon burger. I eventually decided on the latter since it was new. Or maybe not, but definitely new to 2011, and that's good enough for me! I was also torn between 2 different beers, but that's a story for another webpage. Also, I ended up not having to choose since I got both!!

They did not skimp on the onions on this burger. It also seemed to have a lot of cheese, and the standard 2 pieces of bacon. It was kind of a train-wreck in appearance though. See?

Regardless of how it looked, it was delicious! And it was cooked just the way I wanted it, which makes my tummy happen. Those fries are also pretty ridiculous. Seems like Judie has got this burger thing down pat.

-Jon

Twice the Cheese, Twice the Fun

After what was, for me, a relatively long and exhausting day, it was exciting to find out that dinner was going to be cheeseburgers. And there were 2 choices of cheese! Since I couldn't choose between provolone and American, I decided to go with both. This turned out to be a delicious decision, and was seconded by Dad.

This time around, the grill was more cooperative than it was for the last round of burgers. Everything was grilled to burger perfection, except for Kelly's well done mess. But since that's how she likes them, I guess that counts as perfection still, no matter how painful it is to see.

In other news, BBQ sauce is rapidly ascending the list of top condiments. Not that there's really a lot of competition considering that I don't really use any other condiments not named ketchup. But BBQ sauce is clearly better than ketchup since they both have tomato bases (sort of), but BBQ sauce takes things in a much more awesome direction.

I wasn't really very focused while I was writing this, so let's sum things up real quick at the end. Multiple kinds of cheese are better than just one, it's nice when the grill does what it's supposed to, and BBQ sauce is delicious. Write that down.

-Jon

This Might Be Something New

It is possible that the last time I went to R.F. O'Sullivan's fine burger establishment was in 2010. That's a little bit sad.

Fortunately, tonight offered another chance to eat a deliciously huge ball of meat since Alex's friends Adam and Jess were in town and have never been there. Obviously he is a bad host. That sad situation has since been rectified, and I even tried possibly a brand new burger. However, I am starting to think that I have had this burger before. This is quite the conundrum.

Whether it's new or not, I ordered the Out of the Blu Burger, which is both stuffed with blue cheese and has blue cheese on top. It's recommended by the owner (who is a crazy person) to try it with bacon, so I did. I don't want to mess with crazy people. For once, I ordered it with tomato and onion and actually got tomato and onion! Sorry lettuce, you just aren't that great. Check this thing out!

You can ignore those Coronas in the background because Corona is gross and they're obviously not mine. Focus on the ridiculous size of this burger! And those massive "fries," which are just giant potato wedges served at the temperature of molten lava. Still tasty though.

To give you an idea of the cheesiness of the burger, I tried to get a picture with the cheese oozing out. Unfortunately, it just looks like the burger is bleeding white blood. But the burger is cooked properly, so it's got that going for it. Which is nice.

That brings today's list of positive things up to: ate a delicious burger, worked a fun volleyball tournament, drank some beers. And in the negative column: drove way too many miles and might have destroyed the inside of my foot. Unless feet are supposed to be puffy, purple, and 150° to the touch. Stupid feet.

-Jon

How Did That Take So Long?

Paradise City Tavern in Northampton has a special every weekday from 4:00 - 5:30 where you can get a beer, a burger and fries for $6.95. Yet somehow I had never taken advantage of this, probably because that's kind of early for dinner. But it's not too early if you skip lunch! Thus, this terrible burger injustice has been righted.

The only downside is that the beer choices are Narragansett, Boston Lager and Hibernation Ale. Actually the second two choices are good, but Narragansett is terrible. It's even terrible as a Trivia Night beer, and at Trivia Night my standards are pretty low. Ignoring that sad fact, it turns out that the Hibernation Ale is pretty terrific. It's also only a winter beer, so hopefully they will have something equally delicious for a spring choice.

For the burger deal, the only option is the standard burger, which comes with lettuce, tomato and onion. Cheese is an extra dollar, which is ridiculous because you can get like 30 slices of cheese for $5 at the deli. Talk about a ridiculous markup. I went with gouda since a burger without cheese is a travesty. It looks pretty good.

For some reason, they decided that the burger needed a charred outer coating, which is a simply ridiculous notion. Who would want a charred burger. More impressive is the fact that they charred the outside without making the inside into a disaster. It's like a tale of two burgers. The outside was a gross mess, but the inside was nice and tasty. I am torn by this state of affairs. I guess I would say that overall, the burger was ok.

Also, the gouda was delicious. Don't sleep on the gouda.

-Jon

Three Down, 47 To Go

I can now check off Connecticut in my quest to finish Food Network's 50 States, 50 Burgers list before the link dies. Or they come up with a new list. Or, at this rate, all the cows on the planet go extinct. It's taking me a really long time to do this list, which is probably because I hate driving and that's a major component of getting to other states.

Connecticut's contribution to the list is the steamed cheeseburger at Ted's Restaurant down in Meriden. They've got 3 little steaming cabinets where raw meat goes in and rectangles of burger come out. They also steam their cheese (probably cheddar if my tongue is correct), which makes it super gooey and extra tasty. There's like 10 different topping options, but I kept it simple with just tomato and sauteed onions. Kathryn, on the other hand, went with everything but the sauteed onions. That includes gross mayonnaise. I think hers in the one in the middle, and mine is on the right.

Once the cheese gets on it, things start to get serious. There's pretty much an equivalent amount of cheese as beef, which is a lot of cheese.

Ted's doesn't serve normal fries, but they do serve home fries. And you can get them with cheese. Which I did. I think I ate 3 weeks' worth of cheese in a single meal.

Sadly, there were so many home fries that I couldn't eat them. That cheese is really filling! The burger was pretty good, but I need to get some additional toppings next time. Specifically bacon. A little bit of saltiness would have been perfect. But definitely no mayo! Silly Kathryn.

-Jon

Hopefully This Won't Jinx Things

After 2010 ended with a whimper, it looks like 2011 might be off to a stronger start. Only time (and my ability to drag the people I'm eating with to burger places) will tell if it can continue.

To conclude birthday week, we went out to Judie's to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Matt and Bill's invasion of the world. And even though I had just had a cheeseburger for dinner last night, I still felt the urge to order another one. I decided on the gorgonzola and mushroom burger, which came with 2 kinds of mushrooms (I believe shiitake and portobello) and was an absolute monster. Check it out!

Holy moly! It doesn't look like it's a massive burger, but it felt like I was easily eating twice as much. It was very meaty, and the gorgonzola was piled on. It was delicious, although I probably could have gotten away with only eating half of it and been more than satisfied. Oh well, maybe now that birthday week is over, I'll stop gorging myself like a pug. It will be tough if I keep getting burgers of this quality, and such tasty fries.

Matt ordered the four-cheese garlic bread, which as awesome, and I also tried a new beer, which I'm sure you'd like to hear all about. So you can go read that if you haven't already. All around, a delightful meal.

-Jon

The Burger Before the Storm

Since there's already a ton of snow outside and we're projected to get more tonight, tonight might end up being the only chance at getting a grill out of the garage. Which is precisely what Dad did tonight.

Assuming we get anything close to the snow they're expecting overnight, today might have been the only full school day of the week. And of course I worked it, because I am terrible at being unemployed properly. Who would have thought it would be so tough. After that, it was time to finish birthday shopping (hey, if my brothers wanted their gift on their actual birthday, maybe they should have been born in a month without 2+ feet of snow), then continue to feed my addiction to launching birds at towers of pigs. Stupid pigs. Stop being so smug!

Today was also the day we learned that Dad's grill is now one of those temperamental grills that decides to cook different parts of the grill at different temperatures. Like mine! Four burgers went on and came off at the same time, and they ended up as one rare, one mostly rare, one 2/3 medium-rare and 1/3 medium (which was mine), and, unfortunately for Dad, one pretty well done. Come on grill, that ain't right.

We also had some sauteed mushrooms and onions, which were delightful. And also the standard Ruffles with jalapeño cheese dip. And a pickle! All around a delicious meal.

-Jon

Oh Right

I almost forgot that I have a burger blog since it's been nearly a full month since the last time I ate one. Which kind of makes me sad. Good thing I have that beer blog going so I at least have something to write about. I feel like such a slacker.

Kathryn, Sadie and I went out for a small lunch at The People's Pint before Kathryn's big birthday party extravaganza tonight. It's extra convenient because it's right around the corner from her house! There were several appealing items on the menu, but it didn't really matter because the only thing I could feel comfortable ordering was a burger after the absurdly long break. I also got a Pied pIPA since it was delightfully tasty the last time I got it.

The burger was a nice local patty with some cheddar cheese and lettuce. Apparently since tomatoes are not currently in season for the area (as the only thing in season right now is snow), they were not available as a topping. That is not a good start. The other thing I found a bit annoying was that the burger was really basic and every additional topping cost a premium price. I'm a cheap guy, and a $17 burger with the works seems a bit extreme to me.

All cheapness aside, the burger was cooked perfectly. Medium rare should be a little bit pink and juicy, and this burger was just that. Sadly, it wasn't as flavorful as I was expecting. I think the meat just needs some seasoning. And potato chips are not a good substitute for french fries. Just saying.

Overall, it wasn't a bad burger, but it wasn't one that I am itching to get again. Get some tomatoes and maybe some bacon and then we'll have something.

-Jon